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Originally Posted by Пятхъдесят Шест
I thought you were afraid of clowns too?
Your avatar is a Jim Henson product, is it not?
If you didn't cough hairballs up, you probably wouldn't be afraid of them. You know, they have ointment for that?
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I do not fear clowns; I loathe them and all of the manic, inexplicable, and covertly evil happiness and tomfoolery they represent.
Of course I wouldn't fear hairballs if I didn't cough them up; the probability that they would strangle me would be significantly smaller.
And, silly boy - I said my phobia is of "muppet
people." This quite obviously does not apply to fireys and other Jim Henson creatures of their ilk; it includes felt puppet reproductions of humans, as seen on The Muppet Show and Phil Collins videos. Everyone knows that muppet people lie patiently in the closets of both the young and old, waiting for their victims to fall into a deep sleep, only so the innocent prey will awaken to find themselves DIRECTLY face to face with this Satanic regurgitation of animated cloth, which is hovering above them, feeding off of the fear of surprise as an appetizer to the human flesh it is preparing to consume with its soft and pliant gums.
Fireys are simply misunderstood, unfortunate victims of the prejudice of questionable aesthetics. They are fabulous dancers, with a commendable sense of rhythm, and carry a half-decent tune. Their hairstyles alone embodied the spirit of punk rock as we know it, and paved the way for what we supposedly modern pedestrians call avant-garde fashion.
Sheesh.