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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
oy! the stories!
luxy is the new jane austen.
well what you need to do is simple, i think.
you pursue your interest and agree to a cup of coffee with the other guy.
a cup of coffee (doesn't *need* to be coffee, can be anything, but it's the type of social ritual im talking about) is totally tentative and noncommittal. it can last 15 minutes or 45.
if you like him after the coffee, then maybe, who knows, whatever, check him out for lunch. if you don't like him then you're free to focus on the other fool.
my take is that you're out of practice and are making a big deal of thi. you don't have to make out with the guy or anything. have a nice chat at starbucks and then maybe you can just be friends...
anyway, nobody's asking you to get married or even let them hold your hand. if coffee doesnt work due to schedule, lunch is good too-- you always have to "get back to work", and if it's a flop it's just 30 minutes of your day that are ruined.
??
so yeah, dont make a big production out of this. keep it casual.
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The thing that makes me uncomfortable with Ryan is that I am going to have to see him in the future whether we go out or not. I'm just trying to avoid these awkward situations. This is why I try not to get involved with people who are "friends of the family." Also, I like my privacy. Jane has been trying to hook us up since I was 15 (unbeknownst to me until just recently), and the only objection Ryan had back then was that I was too young (but it was no matter, I found my own 19/20 year old even back then, heh).
I dated around a lot this summer, which is standard fare for Six Flags employees. It was no big deal. I did not know any of these people prior to getting hired there. I went out with people at the same time. It did not phase me, and I didn't worry about other people's feelings because most of it was more physical than anything else. This current situation is different for reasons I already explained. It's like Ryan has more invested in this than I do. I would totally go for it, too, if I hadn't met Robert. I am bad at cutting things off with people, if that's what I would have to do. I have had bad experiences in the past when I've tried to do that. Most of them can't come to terms with it and keep calling and stuff. That really makes me a nervous wreck. !@#$%, you know about some of the stuff that occurred when I was in Chicago, so think about it from that angle. Even when I tell people directly that I don't want to continue things the way they are, most of the time they don't listen. The Rob guy I talked about couldn't take it. The other day he gave me a DVD of Lawrence of Arabia for no apparent reason. I fucking have the fucking movie already, and he knew this, so what the hell was that about? It makes me really uncomfortable. I take different routes to get to class now so that I can avoid him. He sent me a voicemail the other day saying that he thought my haircut was "beautiful" even though I haven't exactly been on speaking terms with him lately. It's creeping me out. So I just try to be cautious, you know? This is my most persistent fear we are talking about. I appreciate your advice, and it is very possible that I am making a big deal out of nothing (probably the case), but past experiences have taught me differently and so I can't help but be extra careful.