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my bathing routine is a multiple step process.
first, i enter the bathing apparatus (which is approximately the size of six station wagons stacked upon each other) from a hatch at the top. in the first phase, i am suspened in the middle of the chamber and sprayed with firehoses (my diamond-hard skin prevents any serious damage) for exactly 6 minutes (my gills prevent me from suffocating). next, i am misted with a fine spray of an industrial strength enamel. the chamber then begins to revolve, acting like a centrifuge and seperating all liquid from my exterior. the chamber is drained and begins to heat up. i am baked at 425 degrees for 20 minutes. vents in the sides of the bathing apparatus open and fans blow cool air into the chamber. once cool, i exit the chamber, clean. this process is repeated 4 times a day.
actually, i shower.
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avalanche.
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