Quote:
|
Originally Posted by atsonicpark
See, the thing is, though, I do go out of my way to help people, I have donated a ton of money to charity in the past year, and I am not whining about my problems -- I'm just replying to this thread. I don't just sit around
and feel sorry for myself.
You do raise some good points, though trust me when I say that I've went really out of my way to feel... fulfilled... in life. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, exactly.
Also, I definitely am interested by a lot, a lot more than my mind can ever grasp. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of film, music, and video games at this point, and I have achieved some degree of success with the various artistic endeavors I've explored in my life. Still... there's some soul-sucking invisible entity that can't allow me to be happy. Whether I have a million dollars or 0 dollars, I'm not happy. Whether I give that million dollars to everyone who needs it or not, I'm not happy. Whether everyone loves me or everyone hates me, I'm not happy. I just feel like I've completely lost the idea of what it means to be "happy", personally. And my life is now a series of "oh, cool, it'll be exciting when [THIS] happens... looking forward to [THIS] or [THAT]...." I think I'm just burnt out, really.
But, eh, I don't feel too bad about it. I mean, I can't just blow my brains out or something, what would that solve? I just gotta live with my unhappiness. People always say "do something about it, change things". I've changed everything multiple times, but it still doesn't change that I haven't been truly happy... well... ever. People are certainly happy with me and the things I do for them, but eh.
|
Well then all signs point to it being a chemical balance or something like that. I mean, it's really easy for me to say "you're still not doing it right" or whatever, but I don't know. You really might just be burnt out. Who knows. I know how you feel because I've felt that way and I wish I could come up with some way to make you feel better, but I don't know if there's anything, really. I know when I was younger I had the tendency to be the kind of guy who only felt happy when he was sad. I don't know if that applies to you or not. Basically, I really feel like I've been in your shoes and I don't exactly know what it was that got me out of that bad place, but hopefully you'll find something.
In a way, I think maybe you should really address your feelings. If it's not a chemical imbalance, it might be that there's some underlying thing that is making you feel numb. In my experience, I had to get much, much worse before I got better. I was insane, truly insane and self-hating for awhile before I got beyond it. To me it seems like you're mostly indifferent to everything around you. Another thought is, why not stop searching for happiness, as trite as it sounds, sometimes you can find something when you stop looking. But I'm no psychiatrist, so take that all with a grain of salt. I'm just trying to think about how I dealt with things when I was in your place.
Also what
amerikangod said is all good advice. Exercise is surprisingly good at helping your mental state. I think getting more exercise might have played a part too, now that I think about it.