[toxic johnny]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

i totally shit my pants tonight. it was awesome. straight from TGI Fridays with my girlfriend, i rushed to my house. right as i got to the bathroom door, it just all came out. diarrhea all over my best jeans. i have to go take a shit again..

so shit was all over my legs, there was just a huge pouch of shit in my underwear. i jumped in the shower, cleaned everything off went to my room ... and my gf saw porn links in the firefox windows bar, so to top it all off, my gf's not taking to me now, and i shit my pants for the first time ever and i was gonna get a goddamned electroplankton tonight, but had to rush outta best buy cause i had to shit so bad.

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

I am sorry to report some terrible news to you this early morning. As you may have noticed I am not talking in my usual candy-goth demeanor. This is because I have VERY serious news to report. While driving on I-69N to Michigan for their Feb 22nd show at the Orbit Room, the Sonic Youth tour van was involved in an accident in which a drunk driver pushed it off the road. The van tumbled many times until finally coming to rest in a ditch.

Originally Posted by HaydenAsche

*claps*

*yawns*