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Originally Posted by alteredcourse
This is the fear. If I let go, then I'll reel out and come back when I'm decrepit and old and am shitting my pants and shitting on everything and I'll lash hatred on anyone that tries to help me because I'd be so fucked up and brainless. If I have family, they will be far enough away because I would have fucked everything up with them, too. That fact would be enough to compound my already batshit crazy self. I wouldnt be able to boil myself a pot of kraft dinner if I wanted to, not even lay in my Pod and do a paint by numbers.
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If anything, I have more of a fear of not letting go of anything that has held me back. As far as 'later in life' is concerned. Which is the only part of my
worry gets to me, why I try to acknowledge it, be okay with it, and then it's over. Life is fluid anyway. Not a forever in one space and time.