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probably when it was confirmed that i had gone completely deaf in one of my ears. & that such a hearing loss is irreversible. waking up from my second replacement eardrum surgery in the most horrible pain and hearing the nurses gossiping to each other about how they should ignore my requests for more morphine because of my history of psychological problems (and then reading them to each other out loud). realizing that my hearing aid reduces sound quality and makes everything seem robotic. knowing that there is a chance that i'll loose all my hearing in the future.
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