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SpectralJulianIsNotDead · 06.22.2006, 10:55 PM

everytime I start something with a girl, every second I'm not around her my stomach feels like it is being ripped out?

Is it infatuation?
Is it a bodily instinct that is metaphorically lighting a fire under my ass to get me to seek out said girl immediately?
Is it my weak stomach's reaction to the high emotional levels?

And the big question, I think THE question of life, the universe, and everything. What is Love?

42?

See, I've only ever had one girlfriend. With your first girlfriend, you think you know everything, and it is sort of an educational smack in the face. You realize you don't love her and that you don't really know what love is, you break up with her, and give her a shitty explanation of why it is over.

Looking at the possibility of a 2nd relationship is very unsettling. You realize some key problems that made you unsatisfied with your first relationship. But with that, it seems that you are now playing with a double edged sword. You realize that in your first relationship, it was simply too much, too fast, before you could even really decide if you could stand eachother. But not you realize that and you want to avoid that, at the same time, you can't go to far in the other direction, that there is a fine line between suffocation and starvation.

So when faced with the question of love, I wonder if my definition is wrong of course. After deciding that it is a term thrown around too much, I wonder perhaps if I have put it on a pedestal. If I took a step back, took it off the pedestal, and redefined it, what if it deserved to be on the pedestal and I'm lowering my expectations?

I find all these issues very frustrating, but at the same time, comforting. It gives me things to think about and paranoias to write songs about.

06.22.2006, 10:55 PM	#1
SpectralJulianIsNotDead invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,409	everytime I start something with a girl, every second I'm not around her my stomach feels like it is being ripped out? Is it infatuation? Is it a bodily instinct that is metaphorically lighting a fire under my ass to get me to seek out said girl immediately? Is it my weak stomach's reaction to the high emotional levels? And the big question, I think THE question of life, the universe, and everything. What is Love? 42? See, I've only ever had one girlfriend. With your first girlfriend, you think you know everything, and it is sort of an educational smack in the face. You realize you don't love her and that you don't really know what love is, you break up with her, and give her a shitty explanation of why it is over. Looking at the possibility of a 2nd relationship is very unsettling. You realize some key problems that made you unsatisfied with your first relationship. But with that, it seems that you are now playing with a double edged sword. You realize that in your first relationship, it was simply too much, too fast, before you could even really decide if you could stand eachother. But not you realize that and you want to avoid that, at the same time, you can't go to far in the other direction, that there is a fine line between suffocation and starvation. So when faced with the question of love, I wonder if my definition is wrong of course. After deciding that it is a term thrown around too much, I wonder perhaps if I have put it on a pedestal. If I took a step back, took it off the pedestal, and redefined it, what if it deserved to be on the pedestal and I'm lowering my expectations? I find all these issues very frustrating, but at the same time, comforting. It gives me things to think about and paranoias to write songs about.
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