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Old 04.14.2006, 09:04 AM   #41
noumenal
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Here's an interesting New Guinea/Blowjob connection:

I had to read a book about the Sambia people of New Guinea for an anthropology class. They practice a form of ritualized homosexuality in which pre-pubescent boys are required to give oral sex to the older boys because they believe that they won't grow into men without swallowing massive amounts of semen. But then, at a certain age, they're required to get married and be heterosexual from that point on. But they think that women sap their life-force or whatever and having sex with women makes you weak.

When women are menstruating, they have to leave the villiage and go live in huts down by the river.
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Old 04.14.2006, 09:05 AM   #42
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I personally think "chap" is funnier than "cock."

I'm changing your name to Jeeves.
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Old 04.14.2006, 09:06 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noumenal
Here's an interesting New Guinea/Blowjob connection:

I had to read a book about the Sambia people of New Guinea for an anthropology class. They practice a form of ritualized homosexuality in which pre-pubescent boys are required to give oral sex to the older boys because they believe that they won't grow into men without swallowing massive amounts of semen. But then, at a certain age, they're required to get married and be heterosexual from that point on. But they think that women sap their life-force or whatever and having sex with women makes you weak. When women are menstruating, they have to leave the villiage and go live in huts down by the river.

Maybe there's something to that. It is high in protein, after all.
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Old 04.14.2006, 09:07 AM   #44
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noumenal:

I'm glad I don't live in New Guinea.
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When you go like this , you're jerking off."
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:28 AM   #45
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I just don't understand.

I simply do not get it.

How do people function on a daily basis, when they are so criminally fucking dumb?

Someday in the near future, I will be global dictator (nevermind how I know this, but it is fact). I will then appoint persons I have deemed qualified to give the general public a series of tests to measure their mental agility and overall sensibility, and anyone who fails to pass these tests will be immediately executed. The remaining population will then coexist happily in a utopia of appreciable wit and good taste.

I will also put a blanket ban on tapered jeans, but I'll disclose the details later.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:32 AM   #46
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Ironic that yours is essentially a fascist scheme that would have an overwhelming majority of Jewish people.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:35 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truncated
I just don't understand.

I simply do not get it.

How do people function on a daily basis, when they are so criminally fucking dumb?

Someday in the near future, I will be global dictator (nevermind how I know this, but it is fact). I will then appoint persons I have deemed qualified to give the general public a series of tests to measure their mental agility and overall sensibility, and anyone who fails to pass these tests will be immediately executed. The remaining population will then coexist happily in a utopia of appreciable wit and good taste.

I will also put a blanket ban on tapered jeans, but I'll disclose the details later.

i will obey oh master if i can make some suggestions to your world domination. first of all, going with the jeans theme i would like there to be more than just fucking boot cut or tapered jeans. i swear it was never so hard to get stuff when i was kid.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:38 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glice
Ironic that yours is essentially a fascist scheme that would have an overwhelming majority of Jewish people.

Well...yes. I've always wanted to change my name to Ira anyhow.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:39 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jon boy
i will obey oh master if i can make some suggestions to your world domination. first of all, going with the jeans theme i would like there to be more than just fucking boot cut or tapered jeans. i swear it was never so hard to get stuff when i was kid.

I will leave your wardrobe to your discretion; you will, however, be required to pass daily clothing inspections. Anything I disapprove of will be burned while still on your person.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:40 AM   #50
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I don't see it as fascism, really. It's more like deferring to an omniscient authority. Makes life easier on everyone.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:40 AM   #51
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I used to live down the road from an Orthodox Jewish area. I tell you, kicking out time at the 6th form caused me a lot of libidinal/ moral difficulties
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Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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Old 04.14.2006, 11:46 AM   #52
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Solely for your benefit, Glice, all sexual prohibitions, religious and secular alike, will be abolished.
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:08 PM   #53
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stupid people-- yes they are annoying but they are also people. a fact of life. i mean 50% of the population has an iq under 100, isn't it true? "i hate stupid people", etc-- this line of thought quickly ends up in eugenics & social darwinism. think of jocks saying "i hate artists and intellectuals"-- let's beat them up! (hah). i mean you're lucky you're smart (you are, don't deny it) but intelligence is a trait like many others-- good hair, eye color, muscles, good character, nice teeth, hot in bed, whatever. i mean sure dunces are irritating but they can be navigated just like any other obstacle in life. intelligent sociopaths on the other hand, white collar criminals and manipulators, i find quite dangerous & deserving of the blast of collective hate. fuck them!
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:14 PM   #54
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I hate when people are wrong with something, and know they're wrong, but have their heads shoved so far up they start believing they are right.
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:20 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom
I hate when people are wrong with something, and know they're wrong, but have their heads shoved so far up they start believing they are right.

yeah that's often not stupidity but emotional problems-- insecurity & the need to be always right, shame & the need to be in control, etc.
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:23 PM   #56
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This brings up the issue of the definition of intelligence. Generally, whenever I use the term "intelligence," I'm not referring to 'academic' ability. It's more cognitive agility, perceptive ability, the ability to make linear connections between concepts.

Basically, common fucking sense.

The possession of which, I realize, is likely beyond one's control. I know I'm being unfair and hypercritical, but my awareness of my flaw does not prevent me from getting irritated. I know as well that I can surely seem ignorant on many occasions, so I know I'm being unfair in that respect as well.

Essentially, I'm an ass, and I know it.

HOWEVER

I suppose what is at the root of my agitation is not 'stupidity' per se, but close-mindedness and obstinance. Debating an issue with someone who refuses to see logic or acknowledge alternative viewpoints is the MOST INFURIATING THING KNOWN TO GOD.

And such a character trait is most certainly not genetic or accidental - it is very much a willful decision, and THAT'S what really gets on my tits.

One vindicating statement I will make is that no matter how much conviction I have in a stance, and no matter what medium I'm upholding it in, I will unfailingly acknowledge when I am wrong. I hate to be cliche, but true intelligence is not so much in what you know, but being aware of what you don't know.
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:23 PM   #57
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Yes, exactly what you two said (undoubtedly while I was in the midst of writing my whiny post).
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:34 PM   #58
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for those people, nothing like a boot to the head...

(sorry, stupid dr. demento joke)
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Old 04.14.2006, 03:38 PM   #59
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I laughed...briefly.
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