[automatic bzooty]

Getting harassed by some over-protective mom and an aggro cop because we were being profane, allegedly. I think one of us said “ejaculate,” not knowing that some lady and her kid - not even old enough to be aware of what we’re talking about (probably not even old enough to talk!) - were in the same park. It was a relatively normal conversation, nothing sick, maybe overly “teenage,” but not perverted.

The woman freaks out on us. “Can you tone down the language? I am fucking tired of hearing you kids, you’re fucking immature. My son is here!” - we say we didn’t see them, we say shit about free speech, we say we’re sorry. (As if she should be telling us about OUR language and OUR level of maturity, hah.) She doesn’t take it well at all. “I’m a police officer. I’m going to go get my partner.” Off she goes. She doesn’t even walk across the street, no, too fuckin’ far - she gets into her little white car and drives. We thought she was messing with us, but a few minutes later, she comes back with a cop car trailing her.

This guy gets out, walks over, and doesn’t even ask for our side of things. The asshole wouldn’t even hear us out! Instead, he starts spewing some overly-aggressive bullshit. The way he talked down to us was especially aggravating, you kids this, you kids that. Every time we’d try to talk, he’d cut us off, and twist around little fragments of whatever we were able to get in edgewise. I thought we were being extremely polite and rational.

Eventually, the conversation broke down… we weren’t going to bother with nice any more. One of my friends kept saying, like, “I don’t have to listen to you. I’m going to call my lawyer.” (me, under my breath: “shutupshutupshutup.”) The cop replied with “YER PISSIN’ ME OFF.” Another started in with “excuse me, sir…” and the cop fucking snapped at him. “YOU SHUT UP.”

I was already nervous about the cop being there in the first place, but after he’d threatened to escort us off the property, I straight up freaked out. I mean, I’m eighteen, most of us there were, and he could have held us over night for absolutely no reason - I was scared that one of us would escalate the situation somehow. I said something along the lines of “FUCK IT. I don’t have to be escorted, I’m gone.” - I left. I wasn’t sure everyone would come with, but we all walked off.

The officer kept following us, telling us to walk faster. “What, d’you want us to run?” I’m way out ahead; I start toying with the idea of stopping right there, waiting for the jerk to pass me. When he finally went his own way, we started talking about how whatever just happened was bullshit, and how that guy was just… abusing his power? I mean, there’s probably some legit crime elsewhere, why is this cop even messing with teenagers?

MORAL OF THE STORY: “ejaculate” is an extremely profane word. How dare you say it in a sixty foot radius of my two year old, who can’t even comprehend most conversation. You fuckin’ hooligans, how dare you have fun. How dare you commit such atrocities as, y’know, standing up for your First Amendment rights ‘n’ shit.

[nicfit]

Was that woman good looking?

[automatic bzooty]

nicfit: not at all.

sway: yep.

ahaha, it wasn't really about sex though. nor was it sexy. one friend got, like, rain-soaked, and he was borrowing pants from a (female) friend. he went commando in 'em. being totally awkward, he goes "i didn't ejaculate in them!" when we say stuff like "you sure you want those pants back, leslie?"

[Sonic Youth 37]

Crucifucks Cops for Fertilizer Lyrics:
don't need a fucking cop to tell me what to do,
or grab me in the street whenever they want to.
i haven't got a penny but i don't ever steal.
if they hassle me again i'll show 'em how i feel.
so let's kill the next policeman that gets in your way.
it'll set a good example for the children today.
it'll keep kids out of trouble shooting pigs after school
wasting cops will be the hero's golden rule.
i haven't got a job but i ain't gonna bitch,
cuz soon i'll take what's coming from the fucking rich.
a family can't survive on the shit they pay,
they'd rather see us fucking dead anyway
so let's kill the fucking pigs if they get in our way.
it'll set a good example for the children today
it'll keep kids out of trouble shooting pigs after school.
wasting cops will be the hero's golden rule

[This Is Not Here]

Originally Posted by swa(y)

dirty sex is a pretty thing, ya know...

yes

[Prisstina]

I always love it when people say "Watch your fucking language" or "Watch your goddamn mouth".

[Pax Americana]

You should have ejaculated on that bitch.

[floatingslowly]

right about now, SYG court is in FULL EFFECT.

[Kloriel]

so now would be a bad time to let a flock of geographically traumatized geese into the room?

[SuperCreep]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VRZq3J0uz4

[Shifty Prophet]

I try to be fair with cops, try. But really, fuck em', I know they have a job to do, but you can't bullshit a bullshitter, I smell their stink three blocks away. What part of enforcing the laws of a country,state or city involves you being a abusive cunt? I've never had a ''good'' experience with a cop, granted I was up to something most of the time, but when you are innocent, thats when they fuck with you even more.

Oh well all that shit happened 15 years ago. My advise to teenagers are know your rights and don't get smart with a cop. Yeah it may seem like a good idea to try and fuck with them, but they will have your ass quick. Keep cool, walk away and if they start to follow you, take them for a quick run, you know, keep them in shape, just make sure you don't get caught.

I know there are nice cops out there, I know some of them are just trying to keep the communities safe, to all of those cops, thank you and good work.