Advice Dog's Advice Thread

07.31.2008, 08:31 AM

HEY THERE, STRANGER!
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME ADVICE!

well don't be scared. ask me, advice dog, for advice.

atsonicpark · 07.31.2008, 08:35 AM

hahaha

leakyheadboy · 07.31.2008, 09:01 AM

Advice Dog sir.... where should i stash the bodies?

07.31.2008, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

hahaha

That is not a question, atsonicpark!

Quote:

Originally Posted by leakyheadboy

Advice Dog sir.... where should i stash the bodies?

Leave no trace of the crime, leakyheadboy! It doesn't matter where you stash the bodies- somebody is going to find them! In a week, a month, a year, or a millenium! You know all those tasty dinosaur bones archaeologists are digging up? Those are totally dinosaur murder victims! And somebody found them alright. And now everybody knows.

Have you seen Fargo? I was just watching it. The blonde bad guy in that movie puts his victims bodies through a wood chipping machine, leaving only a red stain on the floor nearby. NO TRACE OF BODIES! Frances McDormand shoots him though, don't let that happen. Do everything he does except that.

MellySingsDoom · 07.31.2008, 09:15 AM

Hey Advice Dog

What's the best way to get together with someone that you "know" over the internet? Should one go for the romantic route (meals, poetry readings, gentle cuddles), or just get down with some rough sex in a dodgy hotel?

Yours expectantly

MellySingsDoom

floatingslowly · 07.31.2008, 09:51 AM

Dear Advice Dog,

The last time I took advice from a disembodied dog's head, people got hurt.

How do I tell if you really are Satan's handmaiden and not just some figment of my imagination?

I realize that my faith demands I do yr bidding, but I'd like to make sure yr not just a side-effect from all the medication.

Yrs Truly,

Floatingslowly Fallingfaster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Advice Dog

victims bodies through a wood chipping machine, leaving only a red stain on the floor nearby. NO TRACE OF BODIES!

ps: ooh gawd it's happening agaainnnnggnnngn

Sonic Youth 37 · 07.31.2008, 10:28 AM

Advice Dog,
I've been watching an item on ebay for 5 days. No one had bid, so I was hoping to bid and purchase the item with minimal frustration. To my horror, I awake this morning to find that someone has placed a bid on this item. Now it looks as though I'll be drawn into a gritty last-second bid-off with this scum in which I'll either end up paying more than I wanted to or losing outright. If I lose said item, should I hunt this person down as the rat bastard that he is?
Regards
Pissed-off ebayer #1,237,428,989

greedrex · 07.31.2008, 10:34 AM

Dear advice dog
it's too hot
what can i do?

07.31.2008, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonic Youth 37

Advice Dog,
I've been watching an item on ebay for 5 days. No one had bid, so I was hoping to bid and purchase the item with minimal frustration. To my horror, I awake this morning to find that someone has placed a bid on this item. Now it looks as though I'll be drawn into a gritty last-second bid-off with this scum in which I'll either end up paying more than I wanted to or losing outright. If I lose said item, should I hunt this person down as the rat bastard that he is?
Regards
Pissed-off ebayer #1,237,428,989

I've been there, buddy! At this point there really isn't much you can do, though, you've had your chance.

07.31.2008, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greedrex

Dear advice dog
it's too hot
what can i do?

Invest in an electric fan, an air conditioning system, or take off your clothes! Also, pour yourself a cool drink. You've earned it, chief.

Quote:

Originally Posted by westernquinoxrocks

HOW MUCH SHOUDL i SELL MY THROBBING GRISLT E24 HOUR BOX SET FOR ONEBAY

As much as the public are willing to pay for it! I'd start the bidding at $20.

Quote:

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

Dear Advice Dog,

The last time I took advice from a disembodied dog's head, people got hurt.

How do I tell if you really are Satan's handmaiden and not just some figment of my imagination?

I realize that my faith demands I do yr bidding, but I'd like to make sure yr not just a side-effect from all the medication.

Yrs Truly,

Floatingslowly Fallingfaster

Tie me up, throw me in a pond, and see if I float!

greedrex · 07.31.2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Advice Dog

Invest in an electric fan, an air conditioning system, or take off your clothes! Also, pour yourself a cool drink. You've earned it, chief.

money is too skint for what you mentioned
i've already had 6 gallons of soda and water today
fuck
this hotness fires my braincells
thanx for the support advicedog

This Is Not Here · 07.31.2008, 10:39 AM

Dear advice dog,

Is it too late to love again?

Thankyou - I love you Advice Dog!!!

greedrex · 07.31.2008, 10:40 AM

i take it Advice dog is NOT someone new to this board.
i think Advice Dog is Sonicl revisited

07.31.2008, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by This Is Not Here

Dear advice dog,

Is it too late to love again?

Thankyou - I love you Advice Dog!!!

I checked out your profile, and it tells me you are only 19! Dude, I am 3 and I've had like 5 girlfriends already! And I loved them, you bet! You have plenty of time left in your human years to find a sexy dame or duke to fall in love with.

Oh and I love you too, man! SEE? IT'S SO EASY!

MellySingsDoom · 07.31.2008, 10:44 AM

Dear Advice Dog

Why haven't you asked my question yet?

Yours, beginning to get impatient

Melly

This Is Not Here · 07.31.2008, 10:45 AM

Whos going to get roughly sexed in a hotel Melly? someone from this board?

greedrex · 07.31.2008, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

Dear Advice Dog

Why haven't you asked my question yet?

Yours, beginning to get impatient

Melly

Melly that's only because the Advice dog doesn' ask questions, it answers questions.
He's too busy smelling the girlies'asses also

07.31.2008, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

Dear Advice Dog

Why haven't you asked my question yet?

Yours, beginning to get impatient

Melly

Apologies, MellySingsDoom!

I reccomend that you go for the romantic option. Meeting internet people IRL is spooky, so you'd need time to get to be comfortable with eachother. Plus, romance is a lot nicer and awesome than depraved hotel sex.

floatingslowly · 07.31.2008, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Advice Dog

Tie me up, throw me in a pond, and see if I float!

witch burnin' is my spesh-e-ality.

blessed be, ye wormy cur?

MellySingsDoom · 07.31.2008, 10:47 AM

Why thank you Advice Dog, most kind. May you path be crossed with many tins of Chum Supermeat.

Yours eternally grateful

Melly.

07.31.2008, 08:35 AM	#2
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	hahaha __________________
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07.31.2008, 09:01 AM	#3
leakyheadboy bad moon rising Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: new cross Posts: 174	Advice Dog sir.... where should i stash the bodies? __________________
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07.31.2008, 09:15 AM	#5
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Hey Advice Dog What's the best way to get together with someone that you "know" over the internet? Should one go for the romantic route (meals, poetry readings, gentle cuddles), or just get down with some rough sex in a dodgy hotel? Yours expectantly MellySingsDoom __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
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07.31.2008, 10:28 AM	#7
Sonic Youth 37 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: if there is a bright spot in the universe, the farthest point from it Posts: 9,443	Advice Dog, I've been watching an item on ebay for 5 days. No one had bid, so I was hoping to bid and purchase the item with minimal frustration. To my horror, I awake this morning to find that someone has placed a bid on this item. Now it looks as though I'll be drawn into a gritty last-second bid-off with this scum in which I'll either end up paying more than I wanted to or losing outright. If I lose said item, should I hunt this person down as the rat bastard that he is? Regards Pissed-off ebayer #1,237,428,989 __________________ "One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.31.2008, 10:34 AM	#8
greedrex invito al cielo Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: in yr fotobukit Posts: 6,588	Dear advice dog it's too hot what can i do? __________________ Greed Recordings bandcamp ~The Rex~, stalkin' yr shit since 2008.
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07.31.2008, 08:31 AM	#1
Advice Dog Posts: n/a	HEY THERE, STRANGER! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME ADVICE! well don't be scared. ask me, advice dog, for advice.
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07.31.2008, 10:39 AM	#12
This Is Not Here invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kingston-Upon-Thames, London Posts: 2,586	Dear advice dog, Is it too late to love again? Thankyou - I love you Advice Dog!!! __________________ http://images.google.co.uk/url?sourc...zLTl_B146tcuiw ~~Record of the moment~~
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07.31.2008, 10:40 AM	#13
greedrex invito al cielo Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: in yr fotobukit Posts: 6,588	i take it Advice dog is NOT someone new to this board. i think Advice Dog is Sonicl revisited __________________ Greed Recordings bandcamp ~The Rex~, stalkin' yr shit since 2008.
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07.31.2008, 10:44 AM	#15
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Dear Advice Dog Why haven't you asked my question yet? Yours, beginning to get impatient Melly __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
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07.31.2008, 10:45 AM	#16
This Is Not Here invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kingston-Upon-Thames, London Posts: 2,586	Whos going to get roughly sexed in a hotel Melly? someone from this board? __________________ http://images.google.co.uk/url?sourc...zLTl_B146tcuiw ~~Record of the moment~~
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07.31.2008, 10:47 AM	#20
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Why thank you Advice Dog, most kind. May you path be crossed with many tins of Chum Supermeat. Yours eternally grateful Melly. __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
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