![]() |
#1 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,409
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I've been thinking about this lately.
I've come to realize that people don't really know me or love me or like me or hate me. Their emotions are directed at their concept of me, or if you prefer their mental image or their logical construct of me, the me that exists in their head. I notice this a lot in any artistic works I do. What they get out of it as the observer and what I get out of it as the creator is so completely different. What I am trying to convey is so distorted by the difference's between their reality and mine, I wonder what is the point of public self-expression if nobody understands? Is it the hope that someone will listen and hear it or look and see it the same way you do? Or is it to avoid being chastised for artistic masturbation? I've noticed another thing. People seem to define these golden moments that define who people they know are. There are things in my life that people will refer to me with. That is me to them, in a nutshell. There were photos from one such event, and a friend of mine took some from my brother that were of me to get copies made. To them it seems, that is the Julian they know and love. The one in that picture. But that isn't me. That Julian doesn't exist. The only Julian that exists is the one at this very moment. But people aren't existed in the present existent julian, they are more interested in the Julian who played that show that one time and made a lot of noise, or the julian who said that funny thing one time. An ex-girlfriend of mine kept a picture of me from that very same event. She was deeply infatuated with that concept of me, the me in that picture, the concept of this long-haired rock and roll loving good natured gentle spirit. Not me. So I eventually broke up with her. Can you truly know someone? Would you want someone to really know you? It seems kind of scary, having your very soul exposed to someone like that. |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#2 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: if there is a bright spot in the universe, the farthest point from it
Posts: 9,443
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Look at it this way, reality have no place in life. You can either exist in reality ,taking things as the seem and appear to be, or you can live, and make things how you want them to be and be content. As long as you're living, you can do whatever you want, but when you start existing in reality is when you have to face it.
Ok, I hope that makes some sense, I'm not a licensed philosopher.
__________________
"One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife." |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#3 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,408
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I usually try to keep myself away from people, knowing me. Because of past experiences, but I do think you can know someone, only if you and the other person are willing to share everything, and clear some things in the process. But as humans, we always change, so I might be a miserable prick today, maybe two months from now, I will not be like that, and will be more content. It is hard for me to open up to people, for fear of them knowing me. I feel they should have their opinion of me in certain ways, than the real me. I hope this is clear.
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#4 |
the end of the ugly
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 958
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
If anybody really knew me, they would be terrified.
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#5 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 7,808
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Life would really sucks ass without "deep connections" with people.
__________________
Confusion is next and next after that is the Truth. |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#6 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,409
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
![]() Nice |
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#7 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 11,289
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
...only because they would inevitably discover your colostomy bag... |
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#8 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,461
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
dont u hate it when u write a big post and you get half ass replies :P
exception:swa
__________________
www.instagram.com/alienanal |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#9 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: behind you
Posts: 10,807
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
i prefer concepts of people. doesn't hurt as much.
__________________
fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art" |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#10 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,608
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
This thread makes me sad. It only emphasizes the lack of any deep connections, or any connection worth mentioning, that I share with anyone.
__________________
KALOPSIA |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#11 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Missouri, land of the free and home of the brave
Posts: 2,351
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
What he said. And also: stop whining!
__________________
|
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#12 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,608
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
To care about and for someone and to be cared for, I imagine, would mean a great deal to me. I think it might give me a purpose: to care for someone. The benefit of that connection would be two fold: It gives you a sense of purpose in life, and it makes you feel accepted, and ultimately happy. I use the words "sense" and "feel" because, in relation to this thread, those benefits of the connection might not be real, if someone doesn't know the real you and only a concept of you, but the point is the same.
I know I have people that care for me, but I don't feel that sense purpose or happiness, but that is probably because I don't feel that those people know the real me, but only a concept of me that I find wrong. Essentially, they are caring for me for the wrong reasons, and at the same time I don't know if I care for them. Does any of that make sense?
__________________
KALOPSIA |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#13 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,608
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
That's true, but I'm not saying that I want someone to have this or that concept of me. I am however saying that I don't want people to have a certain concept of me, you know? I don't want someone to think of me in a way that I don't want to be thought of.
__________________
KALOPSIA |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#14 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Missouri, land of the free and home of the brave
Posts: 2,351
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
But for someone to know the real you, it could be argued that they would have to share loads in common with you in the first place, because only then could they actually understand you. And even if that is true, who would want to be with an exact replica of themself anyway? It's sort of a lose/lose situation. I may never understand how people end up getting married to one another, and stay that way for an extended period of time.
__________________
|
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#15 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,608
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
__________________
KALOPSIA |
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#16 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,408
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
Yes I think like that, but then I also think no one can ever truly know one. They can only know you through your actions, when they see you. I mean I can come off as stupid, as most of the times, but in reality that isn't me. I just think no one will ever know you, but then again we want people to know us. However let me emphasize that we as humans are always changing, and what we think we are today, we may not be a year, two, three, ten, twenty years from now. Therfore no one can actually know us. |
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#17 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Missouri, land of the free and home of the brave
Posts: 2,351
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I can be pretty manipulative and calculating at times, and this has become even more apparent to me ever since I started working at my new job. Sometimes it backfires on me. For instance, I've managed to get on just about everybody's good side at my job, but in the process some of these people have really come to like me, and I have to wonder how much. I feel odd leading people on, though I would feel worse if I had ever been dishonest, which I don't think I have been, technically. My coworkers are basically the only people I hang around now, and it's only because I work with them. If I had met them outside of work, I highly doubt I would've thought twice about any of them.
__________________
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#18 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,409
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
It isn't quite that I've just figured it out. I've long hailed myself as the "person that nobody knows and nobody understands," I've just been meditating a bit more on it recently. The sheer ridiculously of people cherishing these pictures of me. It isn't that I don't cherish pictures. I think they are historical documents, and can be great ones. Family pictures tell a story, form a narrative, and reminds us of we once were. I think what ticked me off was that my friends seem to be more about the past than the present. Like they have ended their friendship with me, but still have it with their concept of me. I don't really care what I project to people. I don't want to be though of as "that guy that is really nice" or "that guy that is a complete jackass." Maybe "that human being who has a lot of different aspects and isn't ever changing or ever stagnant." I think I could accept that. |
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#19 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,537
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
))<<>>(( |
|
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |
![]() |
#20 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,409
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Nice !@#$%!
Like I'll poop into her butthole and she'll poop it back... into my butthole and then we'll just keep doing it back and forth. With the same poop. ... |
![]() |
|QUOTE AND REPLY| |