Go Back   Sonic Youth Gossip > Non-Sonics
Reload this Page Please, help me with my homework.
Register FAQ Members List Mark Forums Read

 
Thread Tools
Old 04.20.2006, 11:40 AM   #1
Signpost
stalker
 
Signpost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Braniewo, Poland
Posts: 482
Signpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's assesSignpost kicks all y'all's asses
I'm humbly asking you if you could help me with my written assigment. I want to know if it is good or not and how can it be improved in terms of grammar structures, expressions and vocabulary. Thanks in advance.
Here's the text:

Braniewo is a town located in Northeastern Poland in Warmia-Mazury voivodship near the Russian border. It is a rather small town with a population of 18 thousand people. There is also a river running through the town called Pasleka.
Consisting mostly of blocks of flats majority of which was built in the 1960’s and 70’s the town looks very unpleasant and boring. There is not much entertainment to find. There is no theatre and both cinemas were closed a long time ago, although they had been prospering pretty well. Only pubs and internet cafes are to find here. There is also few historical monuments and the only one worth mentioning is gothic cathedral on Gdanska street.
Braniewo has a very high unemployment rate. Because of that many young people are constantly moving out from here in search of work and in result the population of the town is getting older and older. Had many companies such as Elbrewery not been closed there would be more workplaces.
Braniewo is a rather boring and quiet town where not much happens. If the authorities had done something in order to develop cultural and sports venues this town would be a better place to live. But unfortunately due to lack of entertainment and work it is a place where you would not want to live.
__________________
insert some bullshit here
Signpost is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 04.20.2006, 12:56 PM   #2
Glice
invito al cielo
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,664
Glice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's assesGlice kicks all y'all's asses
Initial reading: "18,000 people" or "eighteen-thousand"; "Consisting mostly of blocks of flats, the majority of which were built..."; "...here in search of work and, as a result, the population..."; "If the authorities had done something in order to develop cultural and sports venues, this town...".

But generally these are more stylistic changes than grammatical ones. I'll check back later with my thorough proof-reading hat on. You don't have anything major to worry about, I know plenty of native-English speakers who don't write half as well as you.
__________________
Message boards are the last vestige of the spent masturbator, still intent on wasting time in some neg-heroic fashion. Be damned all who sail here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
Glice is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 04.20.2006, 01:21 PM   #3
!@#$%!
invito al cielo
 
!@#$%!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,566
!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
There is also a river running through the town called Pasleka.

Sounds like Pasleka is the town, not the river.

A couple of options:
"The river Pasleka runs through the town"
"There is also a river, the Pasleka, that runs through the town"

There is not much entertainment to find

"to be found" would be the correct way to say that.

i like the passive voice; however, americans tend to dislike it as if it was a crime-- i don't think that's a case with the british though.
!@#$%! is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 04.20.2006, 01:25 PM   #4
Inhuman
invito al cielo
 
Inhuman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Montreal
Posts: 5,807
Inhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's assesInhuman kicks all y'all's asses
Remember to use commas to seperate two main clauses.

If the authorities had done something in order to develop cultural and sports venues, this town would be a better place to live. But unfortunately due to lack of entertainment and work, it is a place where you would not want to live.
Inhuman is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 04.20.2006, 02:00 PM   #5
pokkeherrie
invito al cielo
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,289
pokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's assespokkeherrie kicks all y'all's asses
"There are also few historical monuments..."

"...worth mentioning is the gothic cathedral..." (unless it's a name, but then it would be "Gothic Cathedral" with capitals)


edit:
i was also thinking:
"had...not been closed there would be more workplaces" is maybe "had...not been closed there would have been more workplaces"? (because you're talking about a hypothetical situation... i'm not a native english speaker myself either though, so don't believe what i'm saying if nobody agrees with me)
same with "would be a better place to live." ("would have been a better place to live."?)
pokkeherrie is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|
Old 04.20.2006, 02:10 PM   #6
luxinterior
invito al cielo
 
luxinterior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Missouri, land of the free and home of the brave
Posts: 2,351
luxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's assesluxinterior kicks all y'all's asses
I do know that my English teachers have always dissuaded me from beginning sentences with the phrase "There is/are..."
__________________
 
"I sweat like a fucking nun on Sunday...I don't even know what that means."
- Sebastian Bach

luxinterior is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|


Thread Tools

All content ©2006 Sonic Youth