Top 100 funny christian quotes

Inhuman · 01.14.2008, 11:20 PM

Enjoy.

"several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.
-Queen of the tigers"

Alex's Trip · 01.14.2008, 11:59 PM

Hahahaa.

barnaclelapse · 01.15.2008, 12:03 AM

That's awesome.

✌➬ · 01.15.2008, 12:18 AM

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

WTF???

Rob Instigator · 01.15.2008, 10:42 AM

the sun? ahs anyone ever heard of the SUN?

floatingslowly · 01.15.2008, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

the son? ahs anyone ever heard of the SON?

jesus freak.

pbradley · 01.15.2008, 10:48 AM

Things are heavy because they are filled with sin. Makes perfect sense.

luxinterior · 01.15.2008, 10:59 AM

"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"

Rob Instigator · 01.15.2008, 11:01 AM

this scares me much more than it makes me laugh. these peopel are wilfully ignorant, and proud of it, and will stop at nothing to make you and I think the same way they do.

pbradley · 01.15.2008, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luxinterior

"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"

sucks for the girl but what can we do LOL

floatingslowly · 01.15.2008, 11:15 AM

dear jesus,

I'm sorry that I wasted time making fun of Rob's invocation of yr name instead of following the link posted earlier.

I almost missed, this wonderful quote:

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

dear jesus, I hope you give those ATHIESTS aids.

yr love slave,

slowly

LittlePuppetBoy · 01.15.2008, 11:31 AM

"Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not Logic."

Wow.

the ikara cult · 01.15.2008, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ✌➬

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

WTF???

haha, magnificent

Rob Instigator · 01.15.2008, 11:35 AM

ignorance is rife

all the evolutionists, tell me something. i know how the big bang "has happened, but tell me, wouldnt an explosion, especially one that size, take away life instead of allow it? think about it.

ex: the a-bomb, the h-bomb, grenades, cannon balls (when fired from a cannon of course), mines, rocket launchers, and anything and everything in between. they all have taken lives.

Rob Instigator · 01.15.2008, 11:36 AM

and this one

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.

floatingslowly · 01.15.2008, 11:41 AM

to be fair, the problem here is not christianity.

the problem is stupid people.

Rob Instigator · 01.15.2008, 11:48 AM

no. the problem is christianity being FED to supid people. the religions of the world, all of them, benefit if people are kept this ignroant. They WANT this. they earn BILLIOSN a year, tax free, and have utold power to avoid any country's legal system

down with christianity and all religions.

pbradley · 01.15.2008, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

and this one

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.

That one could actually be wit instead of an actual claim.

floatingslowly · 01.15.2008, 11:53 AM

95% of the planet is stupid and 95% of the planet is crazy.

the remaining 5% of each is not excluded from the other.

most people are stupid and crazy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

no. the problem is christianity being FED to supid people. the religions of the world, all of them, benefit if people are kept this ignroant. They WANT this. they earn BILLIOSN a year, tax free, and have utold power to avoid any country's legal system

down with christianity and all religions.

so, what yr trying to say is, you like to watch gay guys fuck?

[insert emoticon here]

SYRFox · 01.15.2008, 11:55 AM

"Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.

BJ Tabor, Blogs4Brownback [Comments (92)] [2007-Aug-01]
Submitted by Damned at Random "

Haha that's hilarious

01.14.2008, 11:20 PM	#1
Inhuman invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,807	Enjoy. "several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years. -Queen of the tigers" __________________ Inhuman no longer dwells on here. http://about.me/robinbastien
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.14.2008, 11:59 PM	#2
Alex's Trip invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Southern California Posts: 5,608	Hahahaa. __________________ KALOPSIA
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 12:03 AM	#3
barnaclelapse the destroyed room Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Waverly, Virginia Posts: 577	That's awesome.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 12:18 AM	#4
✌➬ invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: ιλ Posts: 5,754	One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added] WTF??? __________________ We Kill Homosexuals!!!
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 10:42 AM	#5
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	the sun? ahs anyone ever heard of the SUN? __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 10:48 AM	#7
pbradley invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SoKo Posts: 10,621	Things are heavy because they are filled with sin. Makes perfect sense.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 10:59 AM	#8
luxinterior invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Missouri, land of the free and home of the brave Posts: 2,351	"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol" __________________ "I sweat like a fucking nun on Sunday...I don't even know what that means." - Sebastian Bach
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:01 AM	#9
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	this scares me much more than it makes me laugh. these peopel are wilfully ignorant, and proud of it, and will stop at nothing to make you and I think the same way they do. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:15 AM	#11
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	dear jesus, I'm sorry that I wasted time making fun of Rob's invocation of yr name instead of following the link posted earlier. I almost missed, this wonderful quote: ATHIEST DAD: Hey! ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life." ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want! ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom. ATHIEST DAD: Why not? ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there. ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here? ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet. ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me! dear jesus, I hope you give those ATHIESTS aids. yr love slave, slowly
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:31 AM	#12
LittlePuppetBoy expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Aylmer(now Gatineau), Quebec Posts: 1,756	"Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not Logic." Wow. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:35 AM	#14
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	ignorance is rife all the evolutionists, tell me something. i know how the big bang "has happened, but tell me, wouldnt an explosion, especially one that size, take away life instead of allow it? think about it. ex: the a-bomb, the h-bomb, grenades, cannon balls (when fired from a cannon of course), mines, rocket launchers, and anything and everything in between. they all have taken lives. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:36 AM	#15
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	and this one Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:41 AM	#16
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	to be fair, the problem here is not christianity. the problem is stupid people.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:48 AM	#17
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	no. the problem is christianity being FED to supid people. the religions of the world, all of them, benefit if people are kept this ignroant. They WANT this. they earn BILLIOSN a year, tax free, and have utold power to avoid any country's legal system down with christianity and all religions. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

01.15.2008, 11:55 AM	#20
SYRFox invito al cielo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Paris Posts: 7,492	"Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are. BJ Tabor, Blogs4Brownback [Comments (92)] [2007-Aug-01] Submitted by Damned at Random " Haha that's hilarious
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|