What Do you guys think?

SynthethicalY · 01.02.2007, 03:02 AM

This is America with paranoid eyes.This is static of a world-view that has been established centuries ago. This is time self-destructing into blossoming flowers. This is Warhol's greatest masterpiece. This is the t.v. reading minds. This is the queerest queer being drag through his hair to his untimely death. This is fear at its strongest. This is the devils lame joke. This is god raining on my parade. This is me in my saddest glory.

it is a poem I wrote.

SynthethicalY · 01.02.2007, 03:19 AM

Thanks Kegmama that worked out better.

SynthethicalY · 01.02.2007, 03:25 AM

Yeah your right, when i was writing it yesterday, the comma felt right. But now that I look at it it sounds better. I revised it only once.

01.02.2007, 03:02 AM	#1
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	This is America with paranoid eyes.This is static of a world-view that has been established centuries ago. This is time self-destructing into blossoming flowers. This is Warhol's greatest masterpiece. This is the t.v. reading minds. This is the queerest queer being drag through his hair to his untimely death. This is fear at its strongest. This is the devils lame joke. This is god raining on my parade. This is me in my saddest glory. it is a poem I wrote.
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01.02.2007, 03:19 AM	#2
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	Thanks Kegmama that worked out better.
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01.02.2007, 03:25 AM	#3
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	Yeah your right, when i was writing it yesterday, the comma felt right. But now that I look at it it sounds better. I revised it only once.
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