[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Pookie

As you youngsters would say, Art>Sport.

So the worst art is better than the best sport.

Plus what Miss Bunbury said.

dear pookie & associates

thank you for your support. i shall continue with my explorations & devotions, despite the gratuitous wedgies i now receive daily from my former "friends". i know my martyrdom will be rewarded some day in the future.

yours forever,

A.R.T.F.A.G.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by WWW

Dear Pookie,

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Sincerely,
Wet & Wild Wanda

Skinny in this context, comes from skin, ie 'formed from skin' or 'being characterized by skin', as in Shakespeare's Macbeth: "Each at once her choppie finger laying upon her skinnie lips".

Hope that helps.

[jon boy]

dear pookie,

if a married woman has an affair with you and then breaks it off but continues to make fun of you would you take revenge? and how would you do it?

richard the XIIII, las vegas

[SynthethicalY]

Dear Pookie,

In all seriousness is oral sex cheating?

Sincerly,
Deluded man.

[king_buzzo]

Dear Pookie, Isn't this person^ annoying? He's a world of warcraft fan which annoys me to hell.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by king_buzzo

Dear Pookie, Isn't this person^ annoying? He's a world of warcraft fan which annoys me to hell.

I presumed he was just you.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by jon boy

dear pookie,

if a married woman has an affair with you and then breaks it off but continues to make fun of you would you take revenge? and how would you do it?

richard the XIIII, las vegas

Yes I would:

http://www.prankplace.com/revengetp.htm

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by SynthethicalY

Dear Pookie,

In all seriousness is oral sex cheating?

Sincerly,
Deluded man.

Do you mean, is having oral sex with somebody other than your partner cheating? Or is oral sex cheating, ie it's not real sex?

The answer to both is yes.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Retarda

Dear Pookie,

It's been a while and thanks to your wise advice i've since found my glasses
and i'm able to look at things again. There's another thing, though, i'm not sure where i left my old shopping trolley. Many thanks and come round for tea if you get some spare time.

Yours,

Retarda Woollenball

East Ham

A question mark I cannot see,
A statement is no use to me.
If you want my use an an oracle,
You need to be less oratorical.

Milk, no sugar thanks.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by space_monkey

dragi pookie i have a problem!

vec dosta dugo nemam curu,nikako nemogu naći ,u depresiji sam ,sta da radim? niko me neće ,zar sam ružan??
pozdrav ! ! ! you must understand that

conyo! i get "depresiji" but that's that!

[jon boy]

dear pookie,

are you a fox hunting tory?

micheal rothburyshire, crewe.

[SynthethicalY]

Dear Pookie,

Why does my stomach hurt?

sincerly,
Acid-boy.

[sonicl]

Dear Pookie,

Why do my legs feel so tired?

Kind regards,
Me.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by HOPFDN

Dear Pookie,

Why isn't 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds?


Sincerely,
Hooked on Phonics Founder-
Don'T Nohowtoread

Did anybody do this thing at school:

How do you pronounce this:

Ghac (I can't remember the exact one, so I've made my own up.)

Rep for the first correct answer.

Originally Posted by michael

dear pookie,

are you a fox hunting tory?

micheal rothburyshire, crewe.

Wrong two.

Originally Posted by Acid-boy

Dear Pookie,

Why does my stomach hurt?

sincerly,
Acid-boy.

http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Kno...mach_pain.html

Originally Posted by Me

Dear Pookie,

Why do my legs feel so tired?

Kind regards,
Me.

They're getting the rest of your body ready for the big 40.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Jesus H. Christ

Dear Pookie,

In libraries, do they put the Bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Sincerely,
Jesus H. Christ

Have you read that book?

All that begatting, whoring, sodomy,...in my bookshop we keep it with all the other porn.

[Danny Himself]

Dear Pookie,

Here at Alpha Bravo HQ atop Mt. Doom (which, funnily enough, is a volcano), I am having trouble integrating my new recruits with the veteran special-ops team. The older members of Alpha Bravo seem to be reacting quite negatively to having new colleagues. Why, just this morning, I caught Agent X lurking in the air vents above one of the new recruit's rooms. I found he was carrying quite a dangerous weapon (which for national security's sake I cannot describe). To teach him a lesson, I had him chained to a wall in the lava room. This was only a short term solution, however- what lasting solutions do you suggest to ease this apprehension?

Sincerely,
Number One,
Alpha Bravo Team.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Number One

Dear Pookie,

Here at Alpha Bravo HQ atop Mt. Doom (which, funnily enough, is a volcano), I am having trouble integrating my new recruits with the veteran special-ops team. The older members of Alpha Bravo seem to be reacting quite negatively to having new colleagues. Why, just this morning, I caught Agent X lurking in the air vents above one of the new recruit's rooms. I found he was carrying quite a dangerous weapon (which for national security's sake I cannot describe). To teach him a lesson, I had him chained to a wall in the lava room. This was only a short term solution, however- what lasting solutions do you suggest to ease this apprehension?

Sincerely,
Number One,
Alpha Bravo Team.

Integrating new team members is always a difficult one. But I've used the following method many times, with great success:

Gather all of your team together, and use a game show format during the meeting. Before the meeting, ask the new recruits to list their top 20 favourite ways to kill an enemy combatant. Each of these index cards is thrown into a hat.

During the meeting, the game show “Host” (pick someone with a great sense of humour!) will bring up the new recruits and ask for volunteer contestants from the "audience". The host will create two teams of contestants with about four people per team. The rest of the veteran ops-team is the “studio audience”.

Here’s how the game works: the host draws a method of killing from the hat and reads it to the first team of contestants. They have to guess which new recruit matches the fact. If they guess correctly, they get one point. If they miss, the other team of contestants gets a chance to guess. If they are right, they get a point. If wrong, the method of dispatch can be practiced on them. Keep alternating teams for as many facts as you wish, or until all the team are dead. The winning team can win a prize.

Besides getting a lot of laughs, the whole room will learn a lot about the new recruits and it should stimulate a lot of stories and ongoing conversation long after the game is over.

Hope that helps Number One.

Oh and keep up the good work.

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by Danny Himself

Alpha Bravo HQ atop Mt. Doom

finally. the secret location is mine.

[Danny Himself]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

finally. the secret location is mine.

Not necessarily. How do you know which Mt. Doom I am talking about? Mt. Doom, WY, or the Mt. Doom in North Korea? Either way, we are prepared for your visit.

[floatingslowly]

Dear Pookie,

Which Mt. Doom hides the Alpha Bravo HQ and how many H-Bombs will it take to crack it?

Evilly Yours,

Floatingretardedly the Merciless

Originally Posted by Danny Himself

(which, funnily enough, is a volcano)

who says that I will be visiting?

Xenu can take it from here.