[!@#$%!]

i forget where but i read somewhere that people trust more those who speak slowly-- in america anyway

on the other hand, speaking slowly is a great way of opening yourself to being constantly interrupted by fast-talking nervous types

i should go live in a cave

==

not sure how relevant/irrelevant but we're having forest firest all around the state

smells "nice", breathes kind of awful

[gmku]

Bingo. My problem. My bosses speak fast. One is a young millenial, another is older than me. Both speak like hustling sales people. This allows them to force their ideas on their listener because, one, it's almost impossible to interrupt them, and two, they easily interrupt the slow talker.

I find, almost, that I cannot speed up my speech. I'm an introvert. I process things. I even process as I'm talking, and this forces me to slow down and think about what I want to say next. This gives them the impression that I don't know what to think or say--not true.

It's frustrating. When you find that cave, let me know. Or a nice Zen monastery in Japan, perhaps?

Sometimes I just give up. I let them go on and on, and I just look at them, and when they're done, I go, "Hmm. Interesting." or something like that. Then they might say, "What do you think?" When that happens, I make sure to preface my remarks, with something like, "Thank you for asking. I have several thoughts. I'll tell you what those three or four things are in a nutshell, and then I can expand or elaborate, if you'd like me to."

Inevitably, they will interrupt with thoughts, objections, etc., in the course of my side of the conversation. I make sure that, in my head, I'm ticking off my points and don't lose track of the points I wanted to make. So when they're done, I might go, "So, I talked about a couple of my points. I have two more, as I mentioned. The next is ..."

It's challenging. In a way, it's interesting, too.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

i forget where but i read somewhere that people trust more those who speak slowly-- in america anyway

on the other hand, speaking slowly is a great way of opening yourself to being constantly interrupted by fast-talking nervous types

i should go live in a cave

==

not sure how relevant/irrelevant but we're having forest firest all around the state

smells "nice", breathes kind of awful

[!@#$%!]

from what i'm reading i think you can retain your speed but just avoid all the beating around the bush.

-"what do you think?"
-"it's shit and it won't work"

or

-"what do you think?"
-"i'll do it but i need a raise"

ha ha ha

srsly if you must keep them waiting then deliver the goods upfront. no preface.

much like the rules of journalistic writing no? headline first, main stuff next, details later

--

GMKU: SPEAKING IN HEADLINES SINCE 2015

[!@#$%!]

tldr dont bury the lede

[Rob Instigator]

Originally Posted by gmku

Perhaps I can provide some momentary diversion by talking about something irrelevant about myself.

One thing I am working on is becoming a more effective speaker. I don't mean as in giving speeches. I mean in daily conversation. I want to slow down my speech patterns, speak more thoughtfully as well as emphatically.

Have you noticed how fast many people talk? It makes me nervous, agitated, annoyed, and I find I concentrate less on what the person is saying, retain less of what the person has said. The people I enjoy listening to, on the other hand, use slow, deliberate speech patterns.

Any thoughts? Any advice?

I am Puerto Rican, (fast talkin', loud talkin', seemingly agitated, lots of cussin' and laughing and "burla" which means "making fun of"). I am married to a Mexican lady and her and her family speak deliberately, quietly, no "burla" instead more like amusing asides, and everything is either serious or sad.

when Puerto Ricans talk we call it a "charla" which means something like a casual chat. when Mexicans talk they call it "platicar" which to Puerto Ricans means a serious discussion, reserved for non-friends, and non-family.

I still get bored shitless waiting for them to finish a goddamn sentence.

everyone's different.

I guess Puerto Ricans are island people. Island people just do not seem to give a shit about much that matters to non-island people, and the conversations reflect this!

My in-laws and my wife's extended family all think I am brash, loud, hilarious, and could-give-a-fuck. But I am actually quite subdued with them! If I were full on, me? sheeeiiiiiiit son.

[Rob Instigator]

unless everyone is relaxing, and having fun, most conversations are about the exchange of information, and I want that information as fast as possible so I can go on about my business. I get very impatient with people at work who talk slow. Talk slow on your own time! shit's gotta get done!!!

[!@#$%!]

i grew up the same way in a coastal city, fast-talking etc. after a couple of scotches i'm a one-man radio station-- ask my wife what happens when i call home with a drink in my hand, ha ha.

BUT even in those cultures there is a tendency to pay attention to the person who speaks few words or speaks more slowly-- the slower pace gives their words gravity. especially in serious/work situations.

just like people in charge never run or act in a hurry-- everybody around them does, but the boss moves slowly.

the thing is though, those words/moves have to COUNT or all the gravity and seriousness is for nothing. so the slow speaker has to deliver the results of the thought process rather than ask to be followed through a reasoning. succinctness is key.

[gmku]

This is a great point! I think I do that. I give a concise answer that sums up what I think, up front. The problem comes when I am asked or expected to elaborate. I want to be able to have a normal conversation, where I don't feel compelled to talk a mile a minute.

There are definite advantages to slowing down. Enunciation improves. One sounds more thoughtful, even if one is not (ever notice how Garrison Keillor can sound incredibly smart without really saying anything). And I think it is extremely useful in keep things from spinning up, from getting heated or emotional.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

from what i'm reading i think you can retain your speed but just avoid all the beating around the bush.

-"what do you think?"
-"it's shit and it won't work"

or

-"what do you think?"
-"i'll do it but i need a raise"

ha ha ha

srsly if you must keep them waiting then deliver the goods upfront. no preface.

much like the rules of journalistic writing no? headline first, main stuff next, details later

--

GMKU: SPEAKING IN HEADLINES SINCE 2015

[EVOLghost]

^ i need to slow diwn to pronunciate better. I tend to mumble a lot.

This weekend was amazing. Got a lot of exercise with "my dog". We went on a hike on saturday and took him all over the city yesterday. This dog...being the most gorgeous dog ive ever interacted(which mkes me so much happier because hes mine and my sisters dog) with. Hes so amazing too...hes so nice and LOVES to meet new people and animals. He's quite calm and NOT annoying whatsoever. We'll leave him in the yard and he doesnt bark at ANYONE. Yesterday for thr first time i noticed him barking at a dog but not once has he ever shown any type of aggression. Anyways...we ended the day at the beach downtown and wow did he have a blast. He loves the water so much. I hinestly never seen so much energy come out of him. He jumped ALL over and even learned to swim. It looked like he was a little scared at first but eventually get started to swim. Then a cop came and ruined the fun. He almost gave me a ticket though once he told me they we were supposed to be at the beach 3 miles down i just gave him my back and called for Elephant(the dog) and my GF. then we just left. Im pretty sure he said he was going to give us a ticket but i just ignored it and left lol. Anyways....this dog gets so much attention....by EVERYONE. Ive never had people ask me so much about a dog....i mean...he is very unique(pitt/shepherd mix), but god damn. A doorman even left his building and walked a half block to chase us and see the dog. Wow. Dog. So gorgeous.

[gmku]

It looks like I'll have an interview for that Iowa job I was talking about a while back. Man, those folks move slow! But, it's good.

Question for y'all: Part of the process will involve a 30-minute conversation with the dean of the college I'd work for (the job is working in the dean's office in one of the several colleges that make up the university). What does one talk to the dean about? Ask about priorities he/she sees for the college? Ask what he/she sees as the most important task in the job I'm applying for?

Ideas, anyone? Thanks!

[!@#$%!]

Sounds exciting!

Besides a bit of small talk to break the ice-- if I had to go talk to a dean as a client I'd want to know what he wants. What do you want/ what do you need me to do? I think the listening is more important than the talking.

Every time I fuck up with a client or someone fucks up with me is because they want to tell me what I need, or I want to tell them what they need, instead of listening-- only after listening and showing I understand can I be heard and also say confidently: this is what I can do for you on that front.

A little background research wouldn't hurt either.

Plus talking about how much you love the institution, etc-- and would very much like to return. Not sure how much you want to disclose about how you had to leave for family reasons-- and now would like to rejoin the place... with experience you've acquired elsewhere... bla bla...etc.?

[gmku]

Great ideas, symbol-man. So three components past the introductions and small talk, really:

1. Inquiring about what the dean needs from the person in this position (or just listening--knowing deans, he/she will probably launch right into it)
2. With 1. in mind, describing how I can meet the needs.
3. Describing my interest in the position and my affinity for the University, how my career path has gone, etc.

[gmku]

One thing that intimidates me: this college is huge! Literally, figuratively. It covers a lot of programs, a lot of research, a lot of education. I could research it until next year at this time and never know everything. I'm afraid of not knowing enough about the place. It's an elephant.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by gmku

Great ideas, symbol-man. So three components past the introductions and small talk, really:

1. Inquiring about what the dean needs from the person in this position (or just listening--knowing deans, he/she will probably launch right into it)
2. With 1. in mind, describing how I can meet the needs.
3. Describing my interest in the position and my affinity for the University, how my career path has gone, etc.

guess so. not sure if it will go in that order because he might start by asking you about #3 first, for example. but i think if you go in there with the mind to understand the guy and figure out how to help him he'll count you on his side. you know?

sometimes i have to say to a client "this is not for me" or "i can't help you but i know someone who can." because it's not the right match. and i rather not have a bad match that ends up hurting my life & reputation (i have learned that by hurting my life & reputation ha ha ha). because sometimes the client doesn't know what they want, or wants something that doesn't make sense to me, etc. so i'd rather excuse myself before getting entangled in predictable dramas.

the problem with job interviews is that one wants "the job" and then has to twist & contort to fit in so that adds a layer of sophistry to the proceedings.

BUT i think honestly if you understand what the person is trying to achieve, then you can figure out IF you can help & then HOW.

i mean--what does a hero in a quest need more desperately than magical helpers?

[SYRFox]

don't like the album, but I thought this was funny: http://www.clickhole.com/article/dis...ource=facebook

[gmku]

Thank you, sir. You seem able to dip from an endless font of wisdom and common sense (maybe they are one and the same?).

I'm not anxious about this interview. One, I had a good prescreening interview. Two, I'm not going into this with a "gotta have this job" attitude. Yes, it's pretty good, but I also want to make sure it is the right fit, because I'm at the age now where I can't really afford to do a lot of job hopping, nor will I probably be given the opportunity to hop around. This job has to be good from some time to come.
.
Finally, other prospects at the U are coming up. Nothing solid yet. But just that they're happening shows me that this does not have to be "it". Other things are going to come up. And what if those things are even better than this job? (And the finale of finally, if all fails, I still have a pretty good job as it stands now, so life wouldn't suck if I didn't get the job.)

I'm approaching wtth a mix of excitement and caution.

[Rob Instigator]

Originally Posted by gmku

It looks like I'll have an interview for that Iowa job I was talking about a while back. Man, those folks move slow! But, it's good.

Question for y'all: Part of the process will involve a 30-minute conversation with the dean of the college I'd work for (the job is working in the dean's office in one of the several colleges that make up the university). What does one talk to the dean about? Ask about priorities he/she sees for the college? Ask what he/she sees as the most important task in the job I'm applying for?

Ideas, anyone? Thanks!

I started my new job in the Graduate School here at the University of Houston and the second interview was a sit down with the Dean of the graduate School.

He asked why I wanted the job.

He asked me to tell him about myself.

He asked me where I saw myself in 5 years.

[Rob Instigator]

Originally Posted by gmku

One thing that intimidates me: this college is huge! Literally, figuratively. It covers a lot of programs, a lot of research, a lot of education. I could research it until next year at this time and never know everything. I'm afraid of not knowing enough about the place. It's an elephant.

I made sure to research the graduate programs here at U of Houston. We offer 65 PhD's, and over 200 Masters Degrees. I think there are 14 different "Colleges."

[gmku]

Oh, I hate that third one. I can barely see myself in a year, let alone five. I'lll say to the dean, "In 5 years, I want to be sitting where you're sitting... . Don't get me wrong. I don't want your job. I just want this amazing fucking office! Where'd you get this furniture!?"

[Rob Instigator]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

i mean--what does a hero in a quest need more desperately than magical helpers?

blind obsession to the goal of the quest. Hero's all die pathetically!