[schizophrenicroom]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

school starts three weeks from today and i'm gonna hurl

you're fucking awesome and you will make it and be the badass that you are. you can hurl, too. but just saying.

i have so much random shit, i'm almost glad i'm not in a studio. i mean, i'm glad i'm not anyways because it's sort of nice to come home and have kvetch sessions/cooking together/etc but man. just ephemera like commemorative glasses or wallets i don't use or etc. i hate stuff.

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

student debt is a real megabitch unlike others. any and all debt can be discharged in bankruptcy, except for student debt. so it's really a much heavier kind of debt. watch out yo.

ha ha ha, sadistic piano teachers! fuck'em. are they like the dude in "whiplash"

i didn't know you played piano. that's awesome. if i could play an instrument my life would be lots more fun, but unfortunately i have no patience for practice.

so you're planning to teach after you graduate or what? are you in a band or something?

the guy i spoke to was a lot more subtly condescending than fletcher in whiplash, although it's the same kind of sentiment, just turned waaaay down.

if you like, i could post a video here of me playing one of my audition pieces.

teaching is kind of a last resort thing for me. i definitely don't want to go into education and the fact that i don't want to i think would make me a terrible teacher, at least in the public-school kind of sense. i could definitely give individual lessons and have in the past, and i don't mind it, although it's not what i want to be doing. i have two goals, and achieving either one would be my dream: play piano professionally, be it as a touring entity that performs with orchestras or otherwise. my other goal is to make it in a band, preferably with me singing/on guitar. those are my two passions and i'd be over the moon to do either, so i guess in the meantime i'll swallow my pride and get started on my second degree.

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

you're fucking awesome and you will make it and be the badass that you are. you can hurl, too. but just saying.

you're awesome and you know it.

[schizophrenicroom]

i saw a shirt today that said "NEW SMYRNA FUCKING BEACH" and prayed someone didn't pay for that

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

the guy i spoke to was a lot more subtly condescending than fletcher in whiplash, although it's the same kind of sentiment, just turned waaaay down.

if you like, i could post a video here of me playing one of my audition pieces.

teaching is kind of a last resort thing for me. i definitely don't want to go into education and the fact that i don't want to i think would make me a terrible teacher, at least in the public-school kind of sense. i could definitely give individual lessons and have in the past, and i don't mind it, although it's not what i want to be doing. i have two goals, and achieving either one would be my dream: play piano professionally, be it as a touring entity that performs with orchestras or otherwise. my other goal is to make it in a band, preferably with me singing/on guitar. those are my two passions and i'd be over the moon to do either, so i guess in the meantime i'll swallow my pride and get started on my second degree.

oh hell, that would be amazing. i'd love to see a video. what kidn of music you like/play?

and yeah-- those who can't, teach (lol sorry suchfriends).

do you give piano lessons? i had a friend in gradschool who gave lessons to rich kids and charged something like $50/hr. sweet money.

i also knew people who were in music grad school-- doing trans... whats the name-- transpositions? i forget. of classical music, etc. e.g, for piano to violin, stuff like that (thesis).

im supercurious about this ha ha. sorry if i'm being nosy.

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

i saw a shirt today that said "NEW SMYRNA FUCKING BEACH" and prayed someone didn't pay for that

let's be honest jade i would totally fucking buy that. lets' get matching ones and wander around that fucking disgustingly charming shithole of a town

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

oh hell, that would be amazing. i'd love to see a video. what kidn of music you like/play?

and yeah-- those who can't, teach (lol sorry suchfriends).

do you give piano lessons? i had a friend in gradschool who gave lessons to rich kids and charged something like $50/hr. sweet money.

i also knew people who were in music grad school-- doing trans... whats the name-- transpositions? i forget. of classical music, etc. e.g, for piano to violin, stuff like that (thesis).

im supercurious about this ha ha. sorry if i'm being nosy.

https://www.facebook.com/terriblecan...772975/?type=3

sorry if it's low quality, recorded it on my phone and it's sloppy at the end... i think the description i wrote in the video addresses a lot of other insecurities i have about it

on piano i'm classically trained so that's really all i know how to do, and i really enjoy the process of learning/memorizing a piece and growing it. my last band played a funk/jazz/alt mixture and i really enjoyed the shit out of that too.

i taught piano lessons last summer and charged $40/hr which is a little steep but i'm the only teacher in the area. wasn't really feeling it this year after a mental breakdown i had over piano back in april and i'm glad i chose not to do it. i needed time off.

my intention was to become a performance major but after some thinking i think i'm just going to get a general BM degree and see where that takes me from here.

[schizophrenicroom]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

let's be honest jade i would totally fucking buy that. lets' get matching ones and wander around that fucking disgustingly charming shithole of a town

it has to be eye-searing neon green on pepto pink. did you know that the dunkin donuts in edgewater is now a DRIVE-THRU!? and in its old place is- you guessed- empty space. yet that little liquor store is STILL THERE. canal street actually looks super cute, i mean... for canal street.

edited because i ask "did you know" like you're really gonna be up to date on the edgewater plaza

[!@#$%!]

holy fuck ABvB! i've heard that piece before, it's superfamiliar, don't know the name-- but i've heard it slower than you play it, you play it superfast? yes?

lol that you mention fletcher in your comments ha ha ha.

lissen-- whatever you do-- don't rob yourself the joy. i used to have this friend (with dubious benefits) that simply up and quit playing the cello because she claimed she "wasn't good enough". and she played no more. ever. of course she was fucking bananas, too. i fled soon after.

fuck, if i played an instrument like that, i'd be having fun with it. if you have to be the bestest player in the universe before you have fun you're doing it wrong. amirite? what you're doing is superfun, and you got mad skills so SHUT UP FLETCHER. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. FUCKING FLETCHER.

fletcher is not happy until you bleed all over. fucking psycho.

$40/hr is not steep-- maybe in your area but not the east coast, etc. as for other gigs you could have in college (to dodge debt if you can) once during a james joyce reading (true story) i met this piano guy who made money by playing in bars/hotels. a good gig apparently. well, dc is full of fancy hotels. but still. an idea.

WELL, BREAK A LEG, YOU!

i'm sort of rambling here cuz i gotta go but yeah, congrats on making it.

wheeeeeeeeee

exciting...

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

it has to be eye-searing neon green on pepto pink. did you know that the dunkin donuts in edgewater is now a DRIVE-THRU!? and in its old place is- you guessed- empty space. yet that little liquor store is STILL THERE. canal street actually looks super cute, i mean... for canal street.

edited because i ask "did you know" like you're really gonna be up to date on the edgewater plaza

can we go there? please? can we go to all our dumb hangouts and drive around in the middle of the night listening to brand new? i miss that shit so much you have no idea
and i want you to meet max too.

[schizophrenicroom]

i wanna meet him! and YES OF COURSE WE CAN. there's even an applebees now in the mall parking lot for when we feel like topping off the night's adventures with undercooked appetizers. or we can go to the updated chilis where mom and tom are on first name basis.

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

holy fuck ABvB! i've heard that piece before, it's superfamiliar, don't know the name-- but i've heard it slower than you play it, you play it superfast? yes?

lol that you mention fletcher in your comments ha ha ha.

lissen-- whatever you do-- don't rob yourself the joy. i used to have this friend (with dubious benefits) that simply up and quit playing the cello because she claimed she "wasn't good enough". and she played no more. ever. of course she was fucking bananas, too. i fled soon after.

fuck, if i played an instrument like that, i'd be having fun with it. if you have to be the bestest player in the universe before you have fun you're doing it wrong. amirite? what you're doing is superfun, and you got mad skills so SHUT UP FLETCHER. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. FUCKING FLETCHER.

fletcher is not happy until you bleed all over. fucking psycho.

$40/hr is not steep-- maybe in your area but not the east coast, etc. as for other gigs you could have in college (to dodge debt if you can) once during a james joyce reading (true story) i met this piano guy who made money by playing in bars/hotels. a good gig apparently. well, dc is full of fancy hotels. but still. an idea.

WELL, BREAK A LEG, YOU!

i'm sort of rambling here cuz i gotta go but yeah, congrats on making it.

wheeeeeeeeee

exciting...

thanks dude. it's the third movement of moonlight sonata, the one that no one ever hears because they're so captivated by the first movement. it needs to be played more!

it's really hard for me to believe i'm good enough, after years of being told i never will be. i figure it's a lot like self-esteem, especially in the fact that if you have too much of it, you're oblivious to what needs to be improved, but if you have too little you're kind of stuck down in the mud and unable to help yourself. the latter happened to me back in april and it hit me hard, made me wonder if i even wanna do this, and get told even more i'm not good enough, but the final answer in my head was yes, i do wanna do this.

again, thanks for the kind words.

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

i wanna meet him! and YES OF COURSE WE CAN. there's even an applebees now in the mall parking lot for when we feel like topping off the night's adventures with undercooked appetizers. or we can go to the updated chilis where mom and tom are on first name basis.

let's go to all the dumb bars in daytona beach and fucking own the place like i know we can. and then let's go eat some shitty appetizers and slam some mediocre overpriced margaritas

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

 

[schizophrenicroom]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

let's go to all the dumb bars in daytona beach and fucking own the place like i know we can. and then let's go eat some shitty appetizers and slam some mediocre overpriced margaritas

chilis margarita is at LEAST "fairly decent," if we're honest, but YES.

what even kind of fabric is wade wearing?

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

what even kind of fabric is wade wearing?

who in the fuck ever even knows?

[!@#$%!]

i slept superultrawell last night.

went to bed with massive back pain, shouder pain--- i wake up-- NOTHING

first night on the thermarest. holy fuck. it's the greatest.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

thanks dude. it's the third movement of moonlight sonata, the one that no one ever hears because they're so captivated by the first movement. it needs to be played more!

ahhh yes.

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

it's really hard for me to believe i'm good enough, after years of being told i never will be.

good enough for what?

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

i figure it's a lot like self-esteem, especially in the fact that if you have too much of it, you're oblivious to what needs to be improved, but if you have too little you're kind of stuck down in the mud and unable to help yourself.

i know there's this tradition of flogging people in classical music, but really you don't need punishment to improve at anything. real self-esteem is not attached to performance (though people try to make it that way so they can manipulate others). you can have ultrahigh self esteem and still be able to say "i fucked up today". in fact it makes it easier to recognize mistakes because your self esteemed is not tied up to some idea of perfection. it's good mental health. don't know if that makes sense? i can explain better if you're curious.

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

the latter happened to me back in april and it hit me hard, made me wonder if i even wanna do this, and get told even more i'm not good enough, but the final answer in my head was yes, i do wanna do this.

it's great that you're doing it! and you should definitely have fun with it and enjoy it.

--

wow i slept so great last night. soooooo great. it's insane. i've never slept like this before, i think. it's like i've been sick for a while and suddenly got cured.

[schizophrenicroom]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

i slept superultrawell last night.

went to bed with massive back pain, shouder pain--- i wake up-- NOTHING

first night on the thermarest. holy fuck. it's the greatest.

it feels like being reborn. it's not the best bed but sleeping in my own room on my own bed has improved my sleep ten thousand percent this past week. glad to hear you feel better.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

it feels like being reborn. it's not the best bed but sleeping in my own room on my own bed has improved my sleep ten thousand percent this past week. glad to hear you feel better.

totally. it's like... having no body.. well because the body has been giving you pain, so the pain is gone and... where is the body? oh, there, in that relaxed feeling.

really amazing.

and congrats on the room, virginia woolf!

when are you gonna start writing? i wanna seeeeeeeee!

[schizophrenicroom]

tee hee, it really is my peaceful escape. i actually was thinking of picking up to the lighthouse this week, never reas it.

im trying to put together a big intro post for a blog I want to get online this week- it's perfect timing that that dfw movie comes out this week and this is my 8 month anniversary of being clean, so no time like now to blog