[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by foreverasskiss

^^^mmmm what do they do?<<<< ok maybe i'm being naive.

one is a scientist and the other is an engineer, both highly qualified people. why?

[Nefeli]

Originally Posted by foreverassk

"how about you grow some bigger balls bitch" is more like it.

damn my left click is danged but i am bored to reload the pc now.

[Nefeli]

ah yeah, what i wanted to say is that this thread is my thread but have no energy to elaborate.
anyhoo, minus the 'lost in life'. its more like 'seeing clearly'.

also many thanks: as from tonight i will never ever mention about my mega testicles. ever. never.

[hypertonic]

Originally Posted by _slavo_

When I was in the US (or UK, for that matter), the people I worked with there (for example on a gas station in Baltimore, MD) kept telling me they don't need to make any kind of 'career', because they simply get by with doing a simple less qualified job, they pay their bills and they lead a stress-free live and can take care about the things they really want to care about.
If there was a possibility like that over here, i'd gladly forget about my 'career', become a cashier in a supermarket or a carpenter or whatever and focus on my music, focus on people around me and get rid of all the pressure.
You know what i'm trying to say?

Why don't you just get your shitty warehouse job back and start writing songs of your own? Why do you have to put so much on your shoulders? I'm not encouraging you to be a lazy-ass slacker, I just want you to choose a path you'd enjoy.

This is exactly it right here. Seems like what everyone around the midwest is doing.. Slowing droppng out...

[Genteel Death]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

say it, then-- face things like a woman!

Petty gender squabbles aside, you forget that ''face things like a man'' is an expression also used by some women when talking to certain men.

[Beethoven]

Originally Posted by Genteel Death

Petty gender squabbles aside, you forget that ''face things like a man'' is an expression also used by some women when talking to certain men.

I totally agree with you porky. I say that to Julian all the time. Money is tight, we have two kids to feed, and often all he wants to do is playing videogames all day.

[SonikJesus]

Thanks guys. Yr helpin a lot. And just to clarify, I know and appreciate the value of hard work. I worked all through college and past until about a month ago and I grew up in a poor humble Mexican family. I'm just saying I can't really see myself doing any job without being miserable. Maybe I'm fed up. I'm half hoping it's just a phase and that I'll eventually straighten out or something but then that seems so sad to the person I am now. And the person I am now would hate that. It's weird. Like if I have a normal life with a normal job I'll be miserable but If I am the way I am now I'll still be fucked up. Man. Sorry if I sound downerish just realizing that now reading my posts but whatever. But yeah thanks guys.

[!@#$%!]

Sounds to me like you're depressed. Think about it. You grow up in a "humble Mexican family" and your family saves money sends you to college with the illusion that after 4 or 5 years or whatever you'll be ready to make the family proud and have a good job and buy your mom a house some day.

Except that now you graduate in the middle of a nasty recession so not only do you have to keep your old student job but you also lose it and move back in with your parents. Ouch.

Now you have to wake up every morning and look at your parents in the face while maybe all of you are thinking that all those sacrifices for your studies were for nothing and you would have been better off working landscaping. Ouch!

And maybe your parents are nice and supportive and tell you to hang in there, you'll be okay, but maybe they are finger-pointing and impatient with you. But regardless, sounds to me like YOU could be beating yourself up and making yourself depressed. Because that's how it happens.

Now depression has nothing to do with the penis or being macho or testicles. War vets get depressed. Old grandmas get depressed. Horny teenagers get depressed. Post-partum mothers get depressed. Kurdt got depressed, the poor junkie. Winston Churchill got depressed--a lot. So do college graduates with no jobs.

Of course people telling you that you're not being "a man" for being depressed is gonna make you feel worse if you believe them-- now you're not just an unemployed college graduate with no prospects but also unmanly. Fuck me, I'd wanna kill myself too.

But anyway, those people are wrong, lol.

You have a bunch of problems at the moment but the way to deal is not to beat yourself up or question your manhood or your honor or whatever the shit. Getting depressed when everything goes to shit is more or less natural, and going through phases of destruction is normal and part of growing up. Think of it as an animal going into hibernation when their environment runs out of resources. Cuz right now you look around and there is nothing and the response is to shut down the store. It's a kind of normal energy-saving reaction.

And maybe what people are clumsily trying to say with "be a man" is "grow up and deal," and with that I have to agree. (And I know I said "that's pussy talk"-- sorry about that). But yeah it's hard to grow up--cuz it's horrible and sad to lose our grandiose teenage dreams of being rich and famous with your band and realize that all you have to look forward if you are lucky is a 9 to 5 and cable TV and credit card debts and crummy neighbors.

But the thing is that there is a lot more than that, even for those of us who aren't rich and famous and in bands and married to supermodels. (Or maybe you thought you were gonna be a professor with your tweed jacket and tenure for life, teaching courses about Sonic Youth.) There is a lot worth living for, besides those things, and I don't wanna get into it cuz it might sound like a lot of blah blah right now, but the point is, yeah, have a funeral for your teenage dreams, it's okay to give up the skateboard and the superhero comics and weed for breakfast; welcome to the trenches with the rest of us, where you have to work for everything and wishful thinking doesn't count-- and it can be a lot of fun, but you have to get used to your new life first.

Anyway, a few suggestions on how to deal, I suppose.

First of all, stop worrying about what you "will be". The future is impossible to predict, so stop worrying about it, stop beating yourself up about it: you'll just get exhausted making predictions and calculations from your depressed perspective where all looks bleak. Tomorrow or next month or next year you'll feel different about things, but more importantly, you'll see there are lots more options than "being normal".

Second, take care of yourself NOW. Maybe you need to go on a trip or camping or something (when is the last time you had a fucking vacation?) Maybe you don't actually have the money for a vacation now (that's why you need to save next time you get a paycheck instead of spending it all on weed, lol). So see if you can get unemployment checks-- it's a good way to keep going. I know a girl who bought an apartment in New York while on unemployment--oh yeah, and paid it off 5 years later. Unemployment isn't welfare, it's a kind of insurance. Yes, they ask you to look for a job, but you can do other things besides that, like go away for the fucking weekend.

Anyway after you get some rest and stop feeling sorry for yourself (eventually feeling sorry for yourself becomes funny, you'll see), you'll need to start looking for a new job that's not a mind killer, college boy. Something you might actually enjoy. There are jobs like that, you just can't see them right now.

How to do that, maybe I'll discuss another time, but I gotta go make breakfast & go to work now.

But yeah, first thing to do is stop beating yourself up, and stop worrying about "teh future" or questioning your manhood. Take care of yourself TODAY. Like, right this second. Go exercise, and shower, and put some clean clothes, and eat something decent, and stay away from daytime TV.

[louder]

Originally Posted by Beethoven

I totally agree with you porky. I say that to Julian all the time. Money is tight, we have two kids to feed, and often all he wants to do is playing videogames all day.

lol, you still play SIMS!!

[floatingslowly]

What the fuck.is.wrong with vidyagames,

O, u guys!!!!

[fugazifan]

7 months ago i left israel and moved back in with my parents and it has been a very important period in my life. i was doing a masters degree in israel and was very unfulfilled with it and was feeling very lost. i think that an extended period of time with my family, without external pressures was very beneficial for me to pursue my own interests and expand my horizons. it has helped me focus a bit on a direction and on understanding what it is i really want to get out of life, at least for the next while.
so as of the fall i will be studying carpentry, with an emphasis on construction. i have no experience in it and am quite nervous about it, but i am also very excited.

my point is that maybe you should embrace this period of being back with the family. get a part time job and spend your time reading or playing music and thinking with yourself find out what it is that really interests you.

and fuck all of that gendernormativity! we are all our own selves with our own needs, feelings and desires.

http://crimethinc.com/tools/posters/...sion_front.pdf

[Glice]

Originally Posted by fugazifan

and fuck all of that gendernormativity!

Hail.

Being a man isn't about being a 'man', it's about being a person. If, subsequent to being a person, you decide to be a man, that's great. But mostly it's about being, y'know, a person. And finding other people to be persons with.

There isn't, sadly, a script for 'being alright'. Advice about surroundings is important, and also tricky. But yeah. Small changes are more important than big ones. The big ones comes in time.

I've always been incredible, which is why my advice is always oodles better.

[jon boy]

i got lost in ikea once, horrible experience.

[the ikara cult]

Originally Posted by SonikJesus

It's not that I don't wanna work for being lazy. It's that it gets me down. Like, "this is all people do, just work for a paycheck, go home, and do it again." So fucked up.

If you have nothing to live for outside of work then yes, that scenario is true. If youve nothing to live for outside of work, then having a job isnt gonna make any difference to your quality of life anyway, You'll just havea shit life with money to waste, and thats the seeds of drug addiction, kids.


Kidding aside, Einstein was a bank clerk, just because youre not going to write The Great Gatsby or A Kind of Blue, or even get a half-baked rambling story published in a literary supplement or release a CDr on a tiny record label, doesnt mean your contribution is worthless.

The old saying is "dont try to be a great man, just try to be a man", and whilst I always have problems with these kind of Little-Book-Of-Calm sayings, there is a point in there. The way your economic situation might be at the moment, you might have a straight choice between scratching an existence and a quick, early death through total self destruction.

Having a shit, dull job doesnt make you a shit, dull person.

[Phlegmscope]

I might or might not graduate in a couple of months and I haven't a fucking clue what I'm supposed to do after that.

[Nefeli]

one thing that depresses me is when i am a coward*.
when i see it in other people, i m not that harsh, but some aspects of being coward can make me be disappointed in someone.


* will be using the word as it is; i wont use never again not even the 'chicken' poo slang for it.

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by jon boy

i got lost in ikea once, horrible experience.

Just follow the arrows nitwit.

[floatingslowly]

Clinical studies have shown that following glice's advice has been proven to increase girth and heft tri-fold.

[SpaceCadetHayden]

Glice, being a person is so over rated.

[Glice]

That's what your Mum said as she was limply wiping my brown love from her under-nose.