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#21 |
the end of the ugly
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,041
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We went to her place during lunch in grade 9. When she got back, apparently she ended up being so aroused that she came in class. Her chair/ass were soaked. I was getting high fives from my buddies while she was being horribly embarassed.
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"The mind splits open and the world falls in." -- Euripides |
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#22 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 12,250
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the first post is a pretty good story. speaking of crying and sex, when i broke up with my last girlfriend we had break-up sex where we were both in floods of tears for the whole thing, it was really weird, but also pretty amazing to experience grief and arousal at the same time.
the time i lost my virginity was very unremarkable although the girl i did it with was considerably more experienced and i didn't want her to know it was my first time so when i came after a few minutes i was a bit embarrased acted as if normally i last much longer than that. the times after that i lasted much longer and after a little while i told her the truth about being a virgin and she didn't believe me, so i was kind of chuffed about that. the cool thing about the whole event was that it took place in paris, which is a good place to lose your virginity. |
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#23 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 28,843
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I started to have sex with a girl but she was so tight and I'd never done it before that I couldn't get it in. She also started crying. She screamed at me, "THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!" I was like, "Huh?!" and she cheated on me 2 weeks later.
...But when me and my actual girlfriend had actual sex the first time, it was beautiful. I've been with her for 6 years tomorrow. |
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#24 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 21,165
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When the eggs in the egg tube are ready, the worm slips backwards out of the saddle. As the saddle passes the egg tube, six eggs are dropped in.
As the saddle passes over the worm's head, the ends close up and make a tiny lemon-shaped cocoon with the eggs inside. This cocoon protects them until they hatch out as very small but fully developed worms. Two months later, she left me for a church-camp guy who had (somewhat rightfully) convinced her that I was the Anti-Christ. |
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#25 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,409
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I was killed to feed and eaten after my first time.
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#26 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In the land of the Instigator
Posts: 27,951
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I put my penis in a vagina
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RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read. |
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#27 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,805
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God damnit rob you fucking bastard, you win again.
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#28 | |
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,664
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I'm not much of a one for virginity stories, so I shan't. I also shan't tell you the story of getting my brown wings, but if any of you meet me for a pint, remind me to tell you that story.
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Message boards are the last vestige of the spent masturbator, still intent on wasting time in some neg-heroic fashion. Be damned all who sail here. Quote:
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#29 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Northern Europe
Posts: 12,250
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i will
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#30 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: No. 10
Posts: 3,289
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Quote:
I don't know why but this is hilarious. |
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#31 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 2,139
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I'll let ya'll know when it happens
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Shake shake |
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#32 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the land where large fuzzy dice still hang proudly like testicles from rear-view mirrors
Posts: 5,949
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Okay, okay. Alright, fine. But only because I'm bored.
I was 15 and it lasted for like 30 seconds. It hurt a bunch and it sucked. The end. |
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#33 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: SoKo
Posts: 10,621
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I was more a bystander to my own second christening. Borderline rape, really.
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#34 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the land where large fuzzy dice still hang proudly like testicles from rear-view mirrors
Posts: 5,949
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Quote:
No popped collar, but I wish he would've finished with something like "THUNDERCATS ARE GO" |
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#35 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the land where large fuzzy dice still hang proudly like testicles from rear-view mirrors
Posts: 5,949
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Or the end of the Wicker Man.
"OH GOD NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY EYES. KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY." I would seriously marry anyone who said that at climax. |
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#36 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: noo yawk
Posts: 6,331
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ok so i was like 14 at this party and i got shitfaced drunk and started making out with this dude and i told him bluntly "i want to fuck you" so we went in some other room and i don't remember it hurting and i didn't bleed but it wasn't much of anything.
nothing special there. the end.
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"I love meth." - batreleaser |
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#37 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 28,843
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I loved having sex the first time. I felt so full of life. I'd came before, of course, but intercourse was surprisingly magical and amazing. I dunno what it was.
The feeling eventually went away and never came back. |
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#38 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The land of fries and mussels
Posts: 1,366
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This is the worst thread ever.
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#39 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 28,843
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I'm a humble guy with healthy desire.
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#40 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: oh, why Texas actually
Posts: 1,680
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Wow love the Wickerman reference.
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kiss me kiss me in the shadow of a doubt |
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