[porkmarras]

I love you.

[Vodka Goblin]

ha ha thats like ded sweet y'kno i love yu 'n' the bordies too it's like that old goblin sayin about oranges 'n' dwarves y'kno the one, that's why i go to all the fukkin effert to be ere y'kno cos like its diffkult wen theres no electricals wer yu live, but HEY LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT the thing is that the gnome police 'n' the daft fukkin elves yeh, yeh the fukkin nobheds, they NEVER FOWND THE OTHER TOO HOLDIN' SCROLLS so we got a plan for tonite that's gonner happen 'n' wen it goes down 'n' the goblin's safe hes gonna be here to tell yu 'n' all it'l be fukkin clas ha ha ha we get the better of things wile theres no gnome police abowt 'cos like the speshel replasementers havnt got here yet y'kno HEY STAY KOOL 'N' ALL yeh.

[sonic sphere]

he sounds like an irish goblin to me

[jon boy]

Originally Posted by porkmarras

 

is that the beastie boys new line of clothes and travel gear?

[porkmarras]

What's her name?You know the acctress who used to play the Mitchell brothers's sister in Eastenders?The one who lost her nostrils through snorting coke.

[jon boy]

 

daniela westbrook.

[porkmarras]

Yep her!

[jon boy]

classy bird.

[porkmarras]

She was photographed with her child covered in Burberry gear once.The label stopped making money for a while after that.

[schizophrenicroom]

HI VODKA GOBLIN. do you know any decent taco recipes?

whats it like to, apparently, live in an enchanted forest?

[youthoftomorrow]

so, Gobbo, how many gnomes do you think it would take to overpower an elf? my guess is three, but i'd like to hear yr expert opinion.

[Vodka Goblin]

Originally Posted by Vodka Goblin

HEY LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT the thing is that the gnome police 'n' the daft fukkin elves yeh, yeh the fukkin nobheds, they NEVER FOWND THE OTHER TOO HOLDIN' SCROLLS so we got a plan for tonite that's gonner happen.

its tru that qwote like y'kno so listen last nite wos ace, fukkin it's like the old goblins motto y'kno "hugfhhgd shff ssd aiwlgrllr jifd" ha ha its so tru y'just gotta go for it eh, i can't reely translate 'cos y'don't hav a word for "aiwlgrllr" well its a bit like teacup but not too tho, HEY GESS WOT WE DID YEH, y'll never do it so i'll tell yu we took one of the hold scrolls 'n' we we went to the eleven bank y'kno were they keep all the munny they get by bein so corrupt 'n' all, 'n' we walked around for a bit lukkin ded serius, reedin the posters 'n' all that jus lie abowt things like "hey watch owt for goblins 'cos they bad 'n' all" wich isnt tru AT ALL, anyway we were dressed up in posh elf clothes 'n' acted all posh rite, takin the piss, 'n' i was like "i say, yu there, littel fellow, a cup of tea wud be tip-top an' want to depossit sum of mi hard-earned fukkin moolah to" so the assistent, hoo knos we takin the piss asks to se the cash, 'n' thats like the cue rite so jaffi "the professer" gets owt the scroll 'n' reeds it 'N' FUKKIN EVRY ELF IN THE BANK BECUMS LIKE AS STIFF AS A FUKKIN LYMESTONE NOB yeh 'N' THERES NO GNOME POLICE AROWND 'COS THEY ALL IN HOSPITAL 'n' so we started doin all this stuff, like we stood the statue elves in line 'n' threw coins at 'em to knok 'em down, 'n' we were like gettin loads of em 'n' twisting 'em rownd each other so they all stuk together 'n' then we started to rip up all the munny that was in the bank, throwin' it rownd like fukkin confetty, 'n' it wos the best laf ever rite, but then me mate jaffi "the professer" yeh, he sez like "hey like maybee we shud be takin sum of the fukkin cash for owrselves" y'kno for the goblins rite, thats like why we call him the professer 'cos like hoo else wud o' thought of that eh fukkin genius, so we gatherred up wot was left wich wasnt much then we pissed all over the elven bank 'N' WE FUKKIN LEGGED IT BEFOR THE SPELL WOR OFF 'N' WE'YVE ONLY JUST STOPPED LAFFIN so there wasn't much munny left 'cos we'yed ripped it up but we'yl put wot we got to gud use though, we got enuff for the whole of Gundle Village to get pissed a cupple of times so it wos a gud nite's work eh nice stuf 'n' we stil got a hold scrol left tooo, so we'yl put it to gud yuse soon eh ha ha TAKE CARE AND EH IF Y'SEE AN ELF THEN LOB A STIK AT 'IM FROM ME eh 'N' DONT FORGETS TO LISTENS TO THE NOIZY MUSIK 'N' ALL ha ha happy postin' boardies.

[finding nobody]

shit. homie, they need to make a movie about your life

[Norma J]

 

[Vodka Goblin]

hey HI NORMA J HOPE YOU HAVIN THE GUD TIMES YEH, 'n' i hope yu liked me bank-robbin exploits {like see abuv if yu missd it yeh] but hey that "spud" thing y'posted he looks a bit like a daftfukkin gnome but withowt the beerd 'cos all gnomes hav beerds y'kno it's cos they got the gnome religshun goin on its like a comandyment for the gnomes they got like thees comandyments comandyments in the gnome religshun like first have a beerd and second be a total nobhed 'n' third suk up to the elves wenever y'can LIKE A GREYT BIG FUKKIN DAFT GNOME STREAK OF PISS 'cos thats all they are ha ha y'kno its tru rite.

[porkmarras]

Absolutely.

[Vodka Goblin]

oh shits oh shits oh shits the goblins in a lot of fukkin trubble this tyme rite 'n' if yu just wayt i'm gonna eksplane why BUT LET ME SAY THAT RITE ITS DED UNFAIR BUT I'M GONNER HAV TO GO INTO THE HIDINS FOR A BIT SO IT MYTE BE LYKE A LONG FUKKIN TIMES BEFOR I'M BAK TELLIN YU ALL ABOUT MESELF wich is a shayme y'kno 'cos rite yu all ded cool [well mosts of yu ha ha}, aniway its time to tell yu abowt last nite befor i hav to go, becos we were causin so many trubbles arownd the Forest of Light that the elves desided to to bring in this speshal bunch of lyke top detektiv gnome police hoo arryved yesterday 'n' last night they had this seremony to 'welcum' them 'n' all 'n' lyke they had posh food 'n' posh drink 'N' HEY ALL THE STUF THAT THE GOBLINS CANNOT AFFORD BECOS THE ELVES 'N' THE DAFT FUKKIN GNOMES KEEP US SO POOR YEH so this made us lyke total angry so we decided to use the last hold scrol [hey luk at the top of this thred if y'havnt got a clue abowt thems} so we hid neer the ceremony rite 'n' just as they were abowt to lyke offishally start the meal to welcome these daft fukkin nobhead tip top gnomes, me mate jaffi red the scroll 'N' EVRYWON IN THE PLASE JUST FUKKIN FROZE, the way they do 'n' all yeh so this time we nevver held bak yeh WE JUST WENT FUKKIN MENTAL y'kno, we were smashin bottels over the heds of the frozen elves 'n' gnomes 'n' smeerin food all over them 'n' like we wrote all over the gnome detektivs faces like "HEY I'M JUST A BIG DAFT FUKKIN SLAVE TO THE ORRIBLE FUKKIN ELVES SO IF YU SEE ME THEM PLEESE KIK ME LYKE EXTRA HARD YEH" 'n' we just ruined evryfin that was ther it was lyke FUKKIN CLAS rite, anyway 'cos like loads of the elvs were ther, that ment that loads of the elves stoopid treehowses were empty, so we went 'N' WE SMASHED THEM ALL UP TO!!!! like all the stoopid threehowses fukkin genius that was clevver moves lyke y'kno ace stuf reely but the thing is rite that for sum reeson yeh the elves 'n' the gnomes are lyke reely propper angry this time rite i dunno why tho we just doowin wot needed doowins so its shits reely 'cos i'm at Dristilla the wizardesses place 'n' shes helpin us to escaype for a bit yeh that like me 'n' me mate jaffi 'n' me mate floggu 'n' me mate yokki so hey yeh this is the messages rite FIRST BE HATIN THE ELVES 'N' THE GNOMES 'N' SECOND IF THE DAFT FUKKIN DETEKTIVS TERN UP THEN DON'T TELL THEM WERE IVE GON 'N' THIRD IF Y'DONT MIND THEM HIT EM WIV A STIK OR SUMTHIN FOR ME hey thanks thats cool 'n' all yeh 'N' HEY FORTHLIES ITS SUMMER SO IF Y'SEE ANY LITTEL PUSSI CATS OWTSIDE THEN GIVE EM A BOWL OF WATER OR SUMTHIN COS THEY PROBLY THIRSTY 'N' HOT 'N' Y'GOTTA LUV THE PUSSI CATS YEH well thats it hoo knos wots gonna happen see yu all soon as i can yeh ha ha oh well fuk it i'm in the trubbles 'n' evryfin 'n' evryfin so 'n' it wos worth it eh.

[Daddylikes]

hAHAHA fuckin bump. Dristilla the wizardess!

[schizophrenicroom]

oh my fucking god. YES. best thread ever. thank you, daddylikes.

[acousticrock87]

Hahahaha