[sandwich mulroney]

Ah, my team is finally looking up... Our first winning season since crippling Bo Jackson, and Palmer's healthy and all set to go.

At last, a good time to be a Bengal fan.

[Пятхъдесят Шест]

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

bring back the oilers :*(

My dad lived in Houston for a few years and was a huge Oiler fan.

[jon boy]

when i was at school people used to trade those stickers for footballers and american soccer players for their sticker albums.

got, got, got, swap etc.

[Rob Instigator]

I found the 7" single of the Houston Oilers # 1 theme song a year ago. I squealed like a stuck pig. I squealed like the ladies do when big red goes up in....

ha ha!

for real. that was a hell of a find for a football and vinyl fiend like me

 

[atari 2600]

dammit, I forgot to pick that first game. I would have gone with the champs, but that's besides the point now. And no, I'm not trippin', it's just that the Broncos are my most hated team; they will lose to the St. Louis Rams today. Go Holt!

[Hip Priest]

 

Great start to the season!

And a very solid defensive performance, from what I'm reading. That can be the key to a resurgant team.

[samuel]

27-0 win for Ravens. Cool.

[krastian]

^Yeah, that was a beat down.

[Rob Instigator]

The Txeans/Eagles game was a lot of fun but David Carr sucks.
I screamed myself hoarse.
having won Brazos Suite TIX, me and my friend Jason ate hot dogs, chili dogs, nachos, tamales, taquitos, beverages, all complimentary. very nice indeed!

[atari 2600]

Sounds like a blast, Rob. You see, what it is
is that you have great football karma for visiting Canton.

I used to win tons of radio station giveaways back in my college days.

Sometimes, I'd have to pretend to be someone else to claim the prize since I had already won in the last thirty days, and then they would let me use the other free pass.

[jennthebenn]

Monday Night Football is a huge, important tradition in this country. This year
the very first Monday game happened to fall on September 11th. The potency
of mixing America's most beloved team sport with the remembrance of a
catastrophic blow to the nation's very soul should not be underestimated.

The Washington Redskins hosted the Minnesota Vikings at FedEx Field.
Patrick and I acquired free tix a week or so before the game and were ready
to ride the DC metro and trudge a mile or so to the stadium in heavy sweaters
advertising our loyalties (he, Skins; I, Vikes). I left work early to best wishes
from the various Redskins haters I pound keys alongside, and even a sincere
godspeed from the sole Hogs backer in the office. In all honesty, being the fan
of a team that lost 4 Super Bowls way before the Buffalo Bills did instills in one
this nagging neurosis, this unfailing kick to the shins. The Redskins, despite
a shit preseason, still boasted a tough defense.

A detour was needed at Patrick's parents residence. The speedometer of his
Accord had decided to stop working alongside the "check engine" light
blinking. It was determined that the car was running fine, but would need a
checkup soon.

Any frets either of us may have had about the car's durability to the DC metro
and back to Hagerstown were wiped away when a friend of Patrick's family
called and invited us to hop on board the bus he was renting to deliver some
friends to the game. Wow. The first thing I could think of was the Super Bowl
episode of The Simpsons wherein Homer arranges for he and several of
Springfield's to go to the big game and travels via bus:

Wally: Hehe, I'm sorry, the guys kind of made a mess in your bathroom...
Bus Driver: What bathroom...!

We made the short drive into Howard County and pulled into an impressive bit of acreage with a private residence, storage barn, tennis courts, picnic area...I had been here once before for the party honoring Patrick's father upon his retirement from firefighting. A few people were gathered around a smoking grill packed with fat sausages and a table with crackers, chips, pickles and condiments. I only knew the owner of the land, but quick pleasentries were dispensed, no small bit of guff being tossed in my direction thanks to the purple Vikes sweater I proudly donned.

Two large Greyhounds, one of each gender, stalked the gravel driveway where we all stood. The male, solid black, seemed thrilled to play with a brutalized Dunlop tennis ball. When he would drop it in front of either of us, we would kick it and chuckle as he went to fetch. Sometimes he didn't seem to get the game, as he would drop the ball, and one second later snatch it back up in his jaws. The female was an older dog, chocolate brown, and content largely to roll around on the grass. When they were together near us, the synchronized panting was hilarious.

The sausages were wonderful. I kept it light with just mustard as decoration and a homemade pickle on the side. Of course I guzzled a can of Budweiser.
There ended up being maybe 20 peeps on a nice Eyre bus, most repping Redskins via jerseys and shirts. (Washington is the number one sports team in America in terms of merchandise sales.) The only eyesores--relatively speaking--were my sweater and a black Marcus Allen Raiders jersey wore by a chubby dude who had the great honor of being the only passenger to seriously challenge me for title of "Fewest Words Said".

The ride was pretty quick (especially by DC standards) and smooth. It amused us both to see an Atlantic Coast Charters bus next to us loaded with Skins jerseys and even a few Vikings jerseys, and no less to see that this particular service is based in Hagerstown. They got ahead of us and some one in our bus made a comment re: Hagerstown, but I couldn't make it out due in part to the fact the seats across ours were in the midst of an exorcism.

My first sight of FedEx Field that day was in fact my first sight of FedEx Field any day; to deny my awe would mark me a hater. 80,000+ people would be jamming this place full, creating a go-team ruckus that didn't need ESPN's presence to account for its velocity and ferocity. But, it certainly didn't hurt.
Tailgaters were out in the fullest effect, a sea of burgundy and gold with only a smattering of purple and yellow to offset it. American flags were also de rigeur this night; all attendees received one to wave as part of the pregame and halftime festivities.

We headed to our seats, Section 225, row 10, seats 22 and 23 respectively. I picked seat 23 to plop my zoftig rear end into for two reasons: one, it was the very last seat at the left end of the row and second, my birthdate is October 23, 1977. The numbers 10 and 23 mean a great deal to me then when they appear one after the other (perhaps the oddest habit I have is when I catch sight of a clock that says 10:23. I will then stop and look at the time until it changes to 10:24. I contend in the gaze of all screwfaces that this is actually not as strange as it could be; I COULD have an alarm that alerted me to whenever it was 10:23, and then I would go out of my way to do the little staredown. But I'm not that geeked out.)

The sightline was tremendous; we were looking right down at an endzone (our seats officially "behind the 10 yard line") and even better for me, we were located behind the Vikings bench. A 5 buck program was perused to better acquaint ourselves with the players numbers. Since the dumping of Koren Robinson, the Vikes offense is now a what-could-be rather than a what-is. No more Cris Carter or Randy Moss types, or even Robert Smith for that matter. Brad "Pops" Johnson has Troy Williamson to throw the bomb to and Chester Taylor to hand off the pigskin to. Hmm. The Redskins, conversely, have Mark "Pops" Brunell chucking the ball to Santana Moss, Antwan Randle-El and Chris Cooley. Even the injured Clinton Portis is a threat on the ground.

We were surrounded by wonderful fans, who liked screaming and drinking, and both activities were performed as obnoxiously as can be, but at football games this is par for the course. (Funny how it can be that way at golf tournaments too.) I am a mild-mannered gal, and I choose to save my outpourings for when the match is decided, see. Patrick is much the same way, except for the "gal" part.

I especially adored the gaggle of Redskins rooters lining the wall at the very top of our seated area who sang "The Love Boat" when the Vikings players were doing stretches. I was going to bust out the song I wrote in honor of Redkins safety Sean Taylor's rap sheet, but decided to not break character. (His arrests have their own section on his Wikipedia page, holla!)


"I'm ready this year!" one face-painted dude announced. Well, clearly.

"It kills me to see Smoot on that team!" his friend lamented after watching the Vikes loosening up on the field. Ah, Vikes corner Fred Smoot, former Redskin and permanent inductee into the Jennifer Lee Benningfield Hall of Outstanding Athletes for his role in the Lake Minnetonka sex boat scandal. See, while Dante Culpepper was getting a piddling-ass lap dance, Freddy baby was manipulating a double-headed dildo into the vaginas of two surely-excited strippers. That is a great man! And when one stripper moved on, he continued with the other. A true outstanding citizen! No one covers the field like number 21.

The contests they have are always funny. Some loser had to guess the correct year and win something. I can't even remember, probably a goddamn $35 gift certificate to Chuck-E-Cheese. Anyway, he had to select the year in which Whitney Houston lipsynced (sung, whichever) the National Anthem at the Super Bowl and Nirvana released "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Oh yeah, cue those Bostonian chords and give us the options!

A: 1991
B: 1995
C: 1999

The guy, not being a total moron in spite of his choice of favorite team, guessed the correct answer of A. I could not help but point out to Patrick that of the three years presented as potential answers, in only one of them was Kurt Cobain actually alive.

Some fat pregame booster guy gets on the field and beseeches us to wave old glory and holler and give the Skins the 12th man edge.

Caught sight of ESPN's crew across the field; Chris Berman (who Patrick almost mistook for Tony Kornheiser), Tom Jackson, Michael "Retard" Irvin and Steve Young. No doubt they were badmouthing my Kings and bigging up the horribly overrated defense of those hog bastards. I felt a twinge of sadness that my presence at the game precluded getting to hear the commentary of Monday Night Football anchors Mike Tirico, Joe Theismann and Mr. Kornheiser.

Everytime the PA blared the MNF theme horns, the crowd went bonkers.

We sat back and took all in. We were only interrupted in our own private idaho when two dudes came up our row. One looked over and exclaimed, "Uh oh, looks like y'all are gonna be fightin' just like us!" Quite funny indeed.

Everyone rise for our national anthem...also, in addition to waving the flags, please yell "OH!" really loud when that part comes up in the song. Because that's way cool like Jim Nabors. It really does not make you seem like you should be calling the cops to report your missing chromosone. At all. And please do it at all future sporting events. Please also punctuate the patriotic fervor by chanting "U-S-A!" in the most beef-eating, demolition-derby-attending bellow you can manage. That's awesome. Here's a gun.

[jennthebenn]

The Vikes run out first, and boos cascade. Fred Smoot leads his team out holding up an American flag. I'll let a fan behind me tell it:
"Oh, see, I can't boo now. He's an asshole for doing that, you know?"

I love Fred Smoot. I won't marry him, but I'll spend a weekend or two on a boat with him.

Please just kick the fucking ball...coin toss...Vikings get it! Oh hell yes, purple power.

On the return, Pierson Prioleau of the Skins hurts himself. He limped off on his own power, but I didn't see him again. Also, Sean Springs will be out due to abdomen surgery! Throw it, Brad, throw it till your arm falls off. Hahaha, Deadskins!

Big catch by the boy Troy Dub on this opening drive sets up a Chester Taylor TD run right in our endzone. Woooo. Damn, if this is all the Skins can do against our pourous running game, I thought. The two other Vikings in our section were pumped, none more so than a middle-aged dude who was guzzling and shit-talking at a marvelous pace. He would, as the game progressed, become more intoxicated and more shit-igniting than I would ever dream. The only positive I could take from his misbehavior was the way it supremely pissed off a straw-haired Skins fanatic sitting in front of him. Dude looked like he drove a Redskins van with shag carpeting and incense.

The point after was missed due to an errant snap, which peeved me no end. First, it costs the Vikes a valuable extra number on the scoreboard and also, I have their kicker on both my fantasy teams. Not good.

Redskins owner Dan Snyder is dipping his gout-stricken feet in Hollywood, apparently, accounting for the presence of royalty such as TomKat and Jamie Foxx at the game. Mind you, they all looked like blobs to me from where I was.

The Skins fought back with a Clinton Portis rush to the endzone in the second quarter. Sigh. The Vikings were giving up bigger plays than they were executing and I was flaring up inside. Troy, dude...Brad was ready to make you an instant Monday night star. Who told you to butter up before that play? Those balls have to be caught, fella. That was an instant touchdown you let slip past your hands.

A great moment comes when Santana Moss loses a surefire TD grab thanks to Darren Sharper absolutely blowing him the fuck up. BANG! You got the pwned, son. Lovely to see the ball squirt out onto the field after my breathing had just stopped in anticipation of ANOTHER six for the hated Skins.

Halftime arrives, and I am not thrilled. Minnesota has closed the gap to 13-9 but this field goal shit has to end. There are only so many times a team can penetrate the red zone and just walk away with 3 and expect to chalk up the win. These penalties must cease as well, man, that's Raiders football.

"Hail to the Redskins" is a horrible team song. Patrick makes a case for its value due to the fact that so few professional American teams can boast fans singing their own fight tune, making the Redskins close to an overseas soccer squad, and thus a bit special. I would have loved to see Steve Hutchinson headbutt a few Skins, no doubt.

The midgame ceremonies include an unfurled flag held by several citizens of great repute and dancers as Lee "Canadian" Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" plays. I worried for my teeth, for various reasons.

Much classier was the appearance of Isaac Ho'opi'i, a Pentagon K-9 police officer who saved multiple lives at the crash site on 9/11, and leads the crowd here in a singalong to "God Bless America". A truly heroic person, he did a very good job with a beautiful song. It moved me infinitely more than any sea of red/white/blue and bellicose chanting.

Back to the game...Brad Johnson is so solid. He even threw a pass off with his left hand when Marcus Washington tied up his right and damn near got a completion off it. Skins are not scaring him. I remember being impressed by the utter lack of interceptions by either QB at that point.

The Skins suck on 3rd down, and we are ruling.

Entering the 4th, my confidence was soaring. 16-16. Redskins are gonna crush WHO? Y'all looking a little TOO forward to the Cowboys next week.

Ryan Longwell missed a 50+ yard field goal. Hmm. A bit counterproductive to the mission.

Patrick and I were in the moments, words kept to a minimum as if they would break the spell. The Vikes were making plays when they needed to, converting 3rd downs and eating up clock. Also, the Redskins decided to play Raider ball and penalties helped move the ball. Sean Taylor's dumb ass with face mask and late hit calls. HAHAHAHA. Why is this crowd not bigging up their D? Where's the 12th man?

"Losers!" This is the straw-hair fan admonishing those spectators sitting and silent as the Vikings made their charge. "90,000 losers!"

Finally, I spoke up. "They don't want it! They don't want this game." I was grinning ear to ear. We are going to fucking win. Their defense is beat and these fans are drained and drunk and slowly realizing that the preseason was not a horrible fluke. Wow, the collective thought goes, we really ARE bad. Yes, you are. The Eagles will actually destroy you.

Steve Hutchinson was giving Chester Taylor holes the size of China to run through. Jesus. Redskins are gonna crush WHO?

With one minute left, Longwell nails a field goal. 19-16. My God. The Skins with only one timeout. My God.

My fears that the Vikes will blow it (flashbacks to Arizona, whoa) flare up when the Redskins return the kickoff to the 38. Big passes come and put the team within field goal range. Shit goddamn shit. This cannot stand!

3rd and 6, Randle-El catches the ball and steps out of bounds. I assumed he had the 1st, but it was 4th and 1. 17 seconds. Here comes John Hall to tie it with a field goal of 48 yards. The stands are abuzz with disbelief. GO FOR THE WIN. It hits me that if the Vikes had made their very first point after attempt, Washington would have had no choice but to go for the win.

The kick is aimed at the uprights at the opposite end of the field from where we are seated and I almost can't watch. But, I had averted my eyes during Longwell's lead-snatching kick earlier, and if Hall misses, I want that vision in my memory forever.

"Krastian said never put money on Hall," I reminded Patrick. In fact, many Skins fans feel that way, but Krastian is one of the few Hogs-supporters I actually like, so I feel better using him as a reference. Ha!

THAT SON OF A WOMAN OF ILL REPUTE MISSED THAT SHIT LIBERALLY! WIDE LEFT, PONK!

I had my arms around Patrick and celebrated by doing a great cobra clutch and yelling, "Yeeeessss! They won!" The fans began leaving, crestfallen and aww boo hoo, while I had a grin two goalposts wide. Go back to them racin' cars, Gibbs.


apologies for my mighty morphin power font.

[Norma J]

Grid Iron.

[krastian]

Originally Posted by jennthebenn

"Krastian said never put money on Hall," I reminded Patrick. In fact, many Skins fans feel that way, but Krastian is one of the few Hogs-supporters I actually like, so I feel better using him as a reference. Ha!

HA HA!

My shit list is the same as last year:
1. John Hall
2. Frost.....I don't give a shit WHAT his first name is.
3. Mark Brunell

But seriously, I could not believe that the Redskins did not sign new kickers in the offseason. I was praying for Vinateri, but would have been pretty happy with Vanderjagdt (sp?) even though he's hurt and having problems in Dallas. Next week TO is going to burrrrrrn Carlos Rodgers......you watch.


What the hell happened to the throwing game the second half? It seems like Moss didn't get hardly any balls thrown his way and Lloyd was completely silent the whole game. Granted Saunders prob. secretly has no confidence in Brunell like the rest of us and fears everytime we jack the ball up in the air that there is a damn good chance that it''ll get picked.....all these dinky passes like last year/quick passes behind the line of scrimage to Moss really piss me off. If we were going to do that then we should have just left Gibbs to the play calling and saved ourselves a couple mill. Anyway, I'm glad that you guys had fun at the game. What was up with Tom Cruise being all buddy buddy with Daniel Snyder???

[krastian]

Originally Posted by jennthebenn

Everytime the PA blared the MNF theme horns, the crowd went bonkers.

That must have been awesome.

[jennthebenn]

tom cruise and dan snyder are connected by the $$$: http://www.forbes.com/2006/08/29/cru...acescan03.html

the skins are going to be the first team adhering to the tenets of
scientology to ensure a super bowl championship, you watch.

chris cooley apparently was just there on the field so they could meet
the required number of players. neither team gave much love to their
tight ends, really. i was really proud that the vikes could win a close
game on the road in a painfully loud stadium, though. if we could beat
carolina next week, wow.

you reminded me in your post, haha, after the game as we made the walk
to the bus lot, some guy behind me was going off to his friend: "of
course hall misses that kick. he always does! vinateri does not miss that
kick."

[jennthebenn]

Originally Posted by krastian

That must have been awesome.

you know it. patrick and i have been to only 2 pro football games, this
and ravens vs. vikings in balto last christmas, also televised on espn. we
don't mess around with the small ones!

[krastian]

Originally Posted by jennthebenn

tom cruise and dan snyder are connected by the $$$: http://www.forbes.com/2006/08/29/cru...acescan03.html

Oh that's right, I remember seeing something about that on PTI.

[static-harmony]

I know nothing about football, I'm lame.

[pantophobia]

Originally Posted by jennthebenn

you know it. patrick and i have been to only 2 pro football games, this
and ravens vs. vikings in balto last christmas, also televised on espn. we
don't mess around with the small ones!

true, but i have seen the skins about 4 times prior, once at RFK, 2 wins, 2 losses, but especially the blown game where norv turner got fired, i don't remember who the other fucking teams were it was so long ago