[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Skuj

-I'm getting divorced, at the age of 58, with an 11 year old son.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

so sorry man

harsh

[ilduclo]

No chance for marriage counseling? Ms Ild and I did that, and it really helped. We were probably going to hit the skids, but instead, 10 years later, it’s going great for us.

[Skuj]

Originally Posted by ilduclo

No chance for marriage counseling? Ms Ild and I did that, and it really helped. We were probably going to hit the skids, but instead, 10 years later, it’s going great for us.

Congrats. We went a few times and came to the conclusion, with the help of a registered psychiatrist, that we should split up.

[ilduclo]

been thru a few of those myself. Sometimes it is for the best, Gives one a chance to reset. Plenty of nice women out there looking, too, for when that idea has some appeal.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Skuj

Congrats. We went a few times and came to the conclusion, with the help of a registered psychiatrist, that we should split up.

fuck.

i was gonna say, but didn’t wanna say, but since it was said, well... shit

how come?

and what does the kid say? he’s gotta be the only reasonable one among the 4 of you right now.

psychiatrists are full of shit sometimes. not to get all scientology on you but headshrinks are often mad themselves. trust me, i’ve seen many. i’d get a second opinion before proceeding.

eta: also psychiatrists are all about medication these days. i’d see a specialist in marriage things.

[Skuj]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

fuck.

i was gonna say, but didn’t wanna say, but since it was said, well... shit

how come?

and what does the kid say? he’s gotta be the only reasonable one among the 4 of you right now.

psychiatrists are full of shit sometimes. not to get all scientology on you but headshrinks are often mad themselves. trust me, i’ve seen many. i’d get a second opinion before proceeding.

eta: also psychiatrists are all about medication these days. i’d see a specialist in marriage things.

After 20 years of monumental ups and downs, I believe that we both came to the correct conclusion. Our son is growing up in a house where his parents seem like strangers to each other. We haven't had "the talk" with our son yet. I'm dreading it. But I'm also very happy with how she and I are proceeding with the practical matters: We sell our big beautiful house this summer, make a shitload, split it right down the middle, find new (much more modest) houses for each other, near each other, not far from the current house, and our son splits his time with each of us. Sometimes the 3 of us will do things: dinner, special trips, etc.

[!@#$%!]

man i really hope it works out that way, and if both of you agree with that, then collaboration can actually happen.

i’ve seen several cases of people wishfully thinking that things will go the way you describe, only to end in a long acrimonious shitshow of vindictiveness and resentment.

fingers crossed for you guys. hoping it’s for the best for everyone involved.

if you can take trips together though... living together is easier than going on a trip hahaha.

can’t you just have an open marriage or something? a foreign notion to me but... maybe no need to break the household till the kiddo can grow wings?

[Skuj]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

man i really hope it works out that way, and if both of you agree with that, then collaboration can actually happen.

i’ve seen several cases of people wishfully thinking that things will go the way you describe, only to end in a long acrimonious shitshow of vindictiveness and resentment.

fingers crossed for you guys. hoping it’s for the best for everyone involved.

if you can take trips together though... living together is easier than going on a trip hahaha.

can’t you just have an open marriage or something? a foreign notion to me but... maybe no need to break the household till the kiddo can grow wings?

I really wish that we could have done that last bit, otherwise known as a "marriage of convenience". But my wife, bravely and correctly, I surmise, deemed that a sham, and not something that she could continue with for several more years. This turmoil is better than pretending. I salute her fortitude.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Skuj

I really wish that we could have done that last bit, otherwise known as a "marriage of convenience". But my wife, bravely and correctly, I surmise, deemed that a sham, and not something that she could continue with for several more years. This turmoil is better than pretending. I salute her fortitude.

more or less, but not exactly, as i understand. not that i’m an expert in those things but one reads things lol.

ah well. some people can do it and some can’t. i’m more of a break up and move on sort of person so i can see her point.

anyway, seems like you like her a lot and something healthy can be salvaged. wishing you all the best with whatever happens. and i hope all of you continue with the counseling through these uncertain times.

[Skuj]

Yes, the counseling continues, because we have a son. Many look upon relationships that last well before "until death do us part" as failure. Well, fuck that bullshit. 20 years turned out to be our time. Was it "failure"? Well, maybe it ended that way, but so much happened in that 20 years, so much "success", experience, life.....I look back on it fondly, lovingly, through the ups and downs, the epic highs and the regrets.....Forever Changes, Baby.

(Fuck.....did I hijack this thread?)

[!@#$%!]

hahaha maybe you did? don’t know.

but it’s good to have you back on the board.

[ilduclo]

Originally Posted by Skuj

(Fuck.....did I hijack this thread?)

Nah, you’re someone we like here. Your space as/when needed.

[Antagon]

What the fuck is this year? Been slipping in and out of depressive states for months now and the whole having to isolate myself shit doesn't exactly help. Haven't physically seen any of my friends or family in a month now. Video chats seem really bizarre to me. I mean, they're great if you're far apart, but if it's with people you'd normally just meet and have a beer with, it's really weird and strikes me as unnatural. And I fucking hate the general social climate right now.



Not being on social media would spare me a lot of proverbial headache, but it's also essential to find out how people I care about are doing during this shitshow. But then there's this whole finger-wagging that's going on online amongst people. And even those you know personally and generally respect are sometimes contributing to this atmosphere of uncertainty, antagonism and flatout panic. There are those who spread BS conspiracy theories, those who think themselves immune to everything and those who are calling for more and more draconian measures without even a hint of doubt.



Being careful makes perfect sense, social distancing makes perfect sense, but damn there've been some grave abuses of law enforcement as of late and our chancelor doesn't even want to comment on Hungary basically having been stripped of its' democracy, because, and I quote: "There isn't enough time for that.". And then there's the calling out game: "Oh my god, they're playing with their children in the park, how dare they in times such as these". Personal privileges are casually disregarded, but people are quick to call others out for doing things that, you know, up until this point have been perfectly normal and given the living situation of many still seem rather reasonable. You can't fucking just stay cooped up all the time with a family if you live in a tiny space. Imagine still having to work at a grocery store or in healthcare on top of that. Or, let's say an unloving, possibly abusive relationship. Of course you'll need some fresh air to cool down. And even if those situations do not apply, it's generally healthy for both your psyche and your immune system to talk walks every now and then. This all seems so fucking unreal. And I feel like a bit of humanity is lost every day. I know, this could easily be in that other thread, but this is kind of personal. From what I've seen so far, I'll say Co-fuckyourself20!

[Antagon]

And they just found a tumor in my father's lungs. I'm about done with this year, check please!

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Antagon

And they just found a tumor in my father's lungs. I'm about done with this year, check please!

fuck.

[Antagon]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

fuck.

Indeed. They'll do some further examinations, but I'll have to be prepared for what's most likely about to come. He's been smoking for five decades now and his brother already passed away from lung cancer back in '09. Nothing left but to wait and to give him a call now every now and then. Hope that Corona-shit eases out a bit in the months to come so I can at least get to see him in person.

[Antagon]

There's just been a shooting/possible terrorist attack in the 1st district of Vienna close to a synagogue. One of the shooters is apparently dead, but there's a possibility that one or more perps are still on the loose. People are urged to stay indoors/avoid public places, especially in and around the 1st district. This occurred mere hours before the country enters a second lockdown. I'mma paraphrase h8kurdt here: This world's going to shit in a handbasket. Can this year die a horrible fucking death already and make place for something more wholesome?

[!@#$%!]

fuck, again. and i was already sad about sonic judases.

how is your old man?

[Antagon]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

how is your old man?

Fortunately, he's doing somewhat okay all things considered. He's done with chemo with his hair intact and I think his radiotherapy is due to end soon too. He'll know something more concrete by the end of this month from what I gather. I've got a feeling there are things he's not talking about though. He's the type that doesn't exactly let you know when he's not doing so hot. It's the circumstances he's grown up in, I suppose. But so far, things could be worse.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Antagon

He's done with chemo with his hair intact.

eh, by the look of your hairdos he must have passed along the quality genes

glad to hear things are cautiously looking up, and hang in there