[phoenix]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

I still suffer from depression... feeling like I work too hard for nothing, care too much about shit that doesn't matter, etc. I want to quit my job, but I'm scared of change. Also, being cheated on by my girlfriend of 7 years still fucks with me, especially when she messages me occasionally saying she still has feelings for me.

pretty much me.

I've actually started to wonder if all my abdominal stuff could be somewhat related to feelings of doom and anxiety.

[phoenix]

I dont want to quit my job though. I'd prefer to be making more of my money elsewhere(creative) but it isn't that bad.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

life is the eternal mix of good and bad, happy and sad, combined in infinite ways, and allll ending up MEH

muddy palette.

[ni'k]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

H to the one-oh, N to the one-zah.. right now.

I still suffer from depression... feeling like I work too hard for nothing, care too much about shit that doesn't matter, etc. I want to quit my job, but I'm scared of change. Also, being cheated on by my girlfriend of 7 years still fucks with me, especially when she messages me occasionally saying she still has feelings for me.

these feelings are bound to arise when you work on music/films - because you aren't there inside other peoples heads to know the effect they have on them. it comes with the territory of being the author of something, you have a perspective on it noone else has.

and yeah, forget about that girl. don't let her mess with your head. cut comms with her.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

my chain mail chastity belt drops to the floor with a loud CLANG, revealing a throbbing elven love-mound that glistens like the forest dew at dawn.

are you sure you don't spend half yr time on RP server..

[floatingslowly]

I don't have the willpower to hangout in Goldshire.

mostly, I just find a high place and cyber myself.

[phoenix]

reported.

[floatingslowly]

Im too disgusting to care. besides, you can't report me. I'm invisibe.

[davenotdead]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

my chain mail chastity belt drops to the floor with a loud CLANG, revealing a throbbing elven love-mound that glistens like the forest dew at dawn.

most inspiring thing i've read this morning

[floatingslowly]

the glowing witchlight from my runed blade illuminates the cold stone walls of the ancient hut, with dancing shadows.

my trinkets jingle softly as my hungering ecstacy is released.

I cry out to the Gods of Light as a spark from the Well of Enternity ignites my trembling bosom.

[Derek]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

Heh. I have a girlfriend and haven't had sex in a good month and a half or so. She's actually pretty and really freaky but I am depressed elsewhere in life... so yeah. Totally wasting it.

I haven't had sex with my girlfriend in about 2 or so months because she's too "insecure" even though she fucked someone she wasn't even in a relationship with before me. This and so many other problems that I'm starting to feel that maybe relationships aren't worth it.. I feel it has so much more negative feelings than positive. Plus my best friend broke up with his girlfriend of nearly 2 years and he seems completely fine about it... though I suppose he reacts to things a lot differently than I do. This past week or so has been a constant depression and I've thought about suicide so much... I wouldn't do it though because it's selfish and it would ruin my families lives; if I'm going down I am not bringing them down with me. I don't know, I'm just very unhappy about my relationship and life in general.

[atsonicpark]

I'm sorry, Derek -- I've been there before. I joke about suicide a lot, I have a very dark sense of humor, but I don't do it... I feel like music and movies and all that shit, I've taken it as far as it can go sometimes, and so I just get tired of it and have nowhere to escape, so I've fucked with drugs a lot but really, having done nearly every drug ever, the only one I can safely say I enjoy is popping a few hydros or oxys or morphine now and then.. so, really, you kinda look for an escape from your troubles and there isn't any.. I'm sick of music, all the movies I've seen are starting to blur together.. I've been painting but no one will ever understand or like my paintings, including myself, because I try to express the inexpressable.. I need to figure out one thing I'm really really good at and work hard to achieve my goals in that area... anyway, then I feel selfish.. and I've never been selfish.. but when i am just a little bit concerned with myself, everyone gives me shit for it..

Don't do the suicide thing man.. you found a cool girl, and even if you can't keep her, you should have the confidence to know that you can easily find another cool girl. Yes, being single is way better, and even if you have a girlfriend, you're going to want time apart..

[Derek]

I need to figure out one thing I'm really really good at and work hard to achieve my goals in that area... anyway, then I feel selfish.. and I've never been selfish.. but when i am just a little bit concerned with myself, everyone gives me shit for it..

I definitely feel like that. It seems like it's a hassle to everyone else just to hear me speak out about things. It seems that every nice thing I do for someone is just swept under the rug (especially with my girlfriend) and whenever I seem to mess up I am chastised to no end. She stayed up all night talking to the guy she fucked before we were together and I'm the bad guy because I felt uncomfortable with that. She never puts herself in my shoes really, she twists it around so it's fine for her to do things but not me.

Don't do the suicide thing man.. you found a cool girl, and even if you can't keep her, you should have the confidence to know that you can easily find another cool girl. Yes, being single is way better, and even if you have a girlfriend, you're going to want time apart..

I don't even know how I ended up with the girl I have right now. I am shy and a horrible talker... and most of the girls I know anyway would think I'm a weirdo if they got to know me. I think I would like some time apart but... we go to school together so it's really hard NOT to see each other. She stays up all night at friends' etc. and when we hang out she falls asleep, that's really selfish BUT I never once criticised her for it.

But I don't think I would kill myself, I just need to re-evaluate my life a little.

[floatingslowly]

the howling creatures of dark night cease their calls momentarily, as the last blue flickers of hot mana drench the already sweat-stained worg-skin rug that has been lovingly laid out to spare your tender back from the stinging brambles.

"Well", I say, "it's late and I should log-out. thanks for a good time".

I pass my hand over the well-worn grooves of my hearthstone and disappear in a rain of slowly falling leaves.

The moment is quickly lost, as a stranger's voice whispers to you, "can I haf sum guld 4 traneing lol?"

Promethea has signed off.

[davenotdead]

this thread is weird. it started out with phoenix possibly taking her clothes off, i think.

and now it's about suicide. derek, just dump her man. it's not worth it. or rape her while she sleeps [when you are 'hanging out'] and if she wakes up, just be all 'oh, care to join us?'

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

feeling like I work too hard for nothing, care too much about shit that doesn't matter, etc.

Nonsense. Your work is inspirational to me. That's gotta mean something.

[dale_gribble]

oh poo

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

Originally Posted by Derek

I definitely feel like that. It seems like it's a hassle to everyone else just to hear me speak out about things. It seems that every nice thing I do for someone is just swept under the rug (especially with my girlfriend) and whenever I seem to mess up I am chastised to no end. She stayed up all night talking to the guy she fucked before we were together and I'm the bad guy because I felt uncomfortable with that. She never puts herself in my shoes really, she twists it around so it's fine for her to do things but not me.

I've been in a situation similar to this. My gf and her ex (they had been dating for nearly as long as I've been with her, and she lost her virginity to him) used to hang out every so often, and I was very uneasy about it (not being ignorant to his obvious intentions, despite her assurance of "just friends").

Eventually I found out that he had offered her 5 hits of acid to fuck him. Thankfully, she declined. But, I now had evidence that this was more than "just a friendship" to him.

So I threatened to kick his ass if I ever saw him in real life (I'm honestly not much of a fighter, but it's amazing how threatening I can be if I really want to), and boldly told my girlfriend that either she was done with him, or I was done with her.

It worked.

My advice: Don't kill yourself man, that shit's for pussies. Just tell your girlfriend what's up. If she doesn't like it. DUMP HER. She should come crawling back, and if you actually want her back - you'll have her eating out of the palm of your hand, and your cock too.

[Derek]

Yeah this guy was the person my girlfriend lost her virginity to. And I lost my virginity to my girlfriend.

And I said to her, "you may think it's just something friendly but you don't know what he's thinking, he could be looking at it an entirely different way than you". After they had sex this guy was very nasty to her so I came to the conclusion that: younger girl likes older guy (my girlfriend was 15... he was 18/19), older guy takes advantage of that and then goes and tells all his friends how shit it was. My girlfriend INSISTS this guy is not like that but it doesn't matter how he is like if it's his dick that's controlling him. Well anyway, recently they have became friends again (you know, hanging out at parties, becoming MYSPACE TOP FWENDZ). Hell, she's even listening to the music that guy likes e.g. shitty metal. And my girlfriend HATES metal music. I just find it all so STUPID of her. I did tell her what was up and her reaction was that I'm "TOO IMMATURE TO HANDLE IT" and most of today was just her brushing me off and ignoring me.

You know what the WORST thing about this is? I said SORRY to her. And I didn't even get an apology or anything back.

I am honestly thinking of just ending it but I think I will think about it a bit first. What happens if I dump her, realise I didn't want that and it's too late? I couldn't imagine her crawling back to me like you said.

[Derek]

And so far my only regret would be getting extremely attached to her. She always takes her bad moods out on me even if I just try to help and quite honestly I am sick of it.

On the other hand though she is the ONLY girl I've ever met in my life that will listen to music with me and watch all sorts of weird and wonderful movies. That was always my favourite thing we'd do together... watch some weird movies together. Her favourite director is Park Chan Wook! (and her favourite band is Animal Collective which is completely fine with me).

But yeah, I sort of want to just completely erase ALL history I have had with her so this wouldn't feel so draining.