[evollove]

Originally Posted by Severian

I read my college girlfriend's diary. Entires about me... during a period where we were "off" between many "on" periods. I read it, and used the information I learned against her in a manipulative way.

Never did it. Totally get it.

I can see myself getting headfucked enough to do something like that. Were you just super insecure and needed to know what was up?

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

man, it's confession time!

i plead the fith

Booooo! Wimp. (Unless you took a shit on a girl's face while she slept. Maybe keep that to yourself.)

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by evollove

Booooo! Wimp. (Unless you took a shit on a girl's face while she slept. Maybe keep that to yourself.)

how IN THE FUCK did you know...!!?!?!

dammit...

did she tell you??

[evollove]

She tried, but she smelled awful and I had to run away.

[!@#$%!]

if she couldn't keep a secret i guess she deserved it after all

no regrets!

[Severian]

Originally Posted by evollove

Never did it. Totally get it.

I can see myself getting headfucked enough to do something like that. Were you just super insecure and needed to know what was up?

Pretty much.

ETA: Deleted all the sordidness, because the two people I was talking to have read it, and I'm not sure anyone else needs to.

[Severian]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

man, it's confession time!

i plead the fith

Please divulge something, so I don't feel like I'm arming the masses against me. Surely there's something from your distant past you could safely offer up.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Severian

Please divulge something, so I don't feel like I'm arming the masses against me. Surely there's something from your distant past you could safely offer up.

i... im sorry but not wired that way.

as a friend, i've avoided reading your posts actually, in case you ended up spilling too much information about other people. yes! i turned away as a kidness, if that makes sense.

anyway i've never liked group therapy. my old shrink asked me to join twice, and twice i tried and detested it. he said i had to get the point of it. i never did and now he's dead, so we'll never know.

[evollove]

This isn't group therapy.

Bitching? Sure. Advice seeking? Sometimes.

But I sure as shit don't see a shrink in house to moderate things.

These are just stories. Pretty good ones too. Sev was one fucked up dude, but lived to type the tale.

[!@#$%!]

yeah ha ha ha

maybe i should add that i was brought up catholic, and the secret of confession is a pretty heavy item in it. people have gone to jail or worse over it...

...i guess i don't trust any of you fuckers! xD

[Severian]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

yeah ha ha ha

maybe i should add that i was brought up catholic, and the secret of confession is a pretty heavy item in it. people have gone to jail or worse over it...

...i guess i don't trust any of you fuckers! xD

I was raised Catholic too. I'm confessing to you. Who went to jail or worse for confession?

Anyway.. you're making me want to edit my comments now. Hmm.

ETA: I edited my comment. You freaked me out.

[Severian]

Originally Posted by evollove

This isn't group therapy.

Bitching? Sure. Advice seeking? Sometimes.

But I sure as shit don't see a shrink in house to moderate things.

These are just stories. Pretty good ones too. Sev was one fucked up dude, but lived to type the tale.

Hey man, I was like 20 years old. But yes... I was a super fucked up young man. This is probably why I would never even think about being a dick someone I truly, honest-to-god, love with all my heart, no matter how jealous or whatever I may have felt at one time.

I was a confused little shit. I didn't know how to treat people. Thank god I'm over the hormones are everything phase. I'm a much better human being now.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Severian

I was raised Catholic too. I'm confessing to you. Who went to jail or worse for confession?

Anyway.. you're making me want to edit my comments now. Hmm.

ETA: I edited my comment. You freaked me out.

good! never trust the internet. it's mostly a bunch of dicks. they're your friend one day and the next one they wanna put a pitchfork up your ass.

priests in history have been pressure to break the... what's it called... confessional seal? something. and when they resisted...

see here, quick google: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/ne...fession-44847/

anyway, i'm not a priest and i've made no vows. but since i know nothing (i averted my eyes and put on auto-erase, like when people tell me their passwords i go laaaalaaalaaaalaaaaimforgettingthisnext, the same) you don't have to worry about me.

so, re: "sharing" like a 12-stepper, i know it's supposed to be therapeutic and all, so im not saying you're a terrible man for writing down your confessions in a public forum, but im just saying... only give your secrets to those you trust. they're not for everyone to examine, in spite of what jerry springer made the culture believe.

i keep a lot of secrets in my head, mine and other people's. mine are mine, and the other people's aren't mine to share so they don't leave this vault. they were given to me alone and i honor that.

okay but here a funny story: one time i was fucking this guy's wife and the guy showed up unexpected and i came out in my shorts and i was fucking nervous cuz i knew where he kept the shotguns. then i witnessed the weirdest marriage discussion i've ever witnessed. but im not fucking saying because that's not my story, i was just in the middle, not believing my eyes and ears.

for many years i wanted to be a writer but i'm never gonna be a writer, i know. i just hate to gossip/ spill the beans/ "share". cuz most people... are jackals ha ha ha. and they will eat your soul. but seriously. even non-jackals will turn into jackals when prompted. a nice bunch of people will turn into a jackal horde at the drop of a hat. yes, like your batman movie. i have little faith in the human species. fucking apes! anyway... best luck with all that.

[evollove]

I share your distaste for the public confessional. I blame Oprah.

But I don't think that's what's going on. Just swapping stories about the tempest of insanity love can stir up. And since everyone has been swept up at one time or another, I don't anticipate any judging or shaming.

So, there was this one time a chick broke up with me and to get back at her I fucked a goat. What was I thinking? Made sense at the time, but I had been consuming a fuckton of angel dust.

See? No biggie. Everyone's been there, man.

[!@#$%!]

i don't know what's wrong with you man. everyone knows sheep is softer.

[dirty bunny]

I'm a big believer in self-improvement. I know I have shortcomings, but I do try and shed bad habits. I'm not always successful.

In short, learn from your mistakes and move on.

you could learn a lot from a bunny

[!@#$%!]

been having massive ADD last couple of days

[evollove]

Ate you using ADD in the medical sense, or are you just saying you've been having trouble concentrating?

[!@#$%!]

medical, but yeah having trouble concentrating is the problem itself. everything demands attention. any little piece of information is suddenly the most important thing in the universe. and your brain keeps hopping like a bunny (sorry dirty bunny-- not you).

i had a coach who helped, but i refused the amphetamines.

some days though (bad sleep, etc or whatever) it's really terrible.

my goddamn mind....

[Severian]

Originally Posted by evollove

Ate you using ADD in the medical sense, or are you just saying you've been having trouble concentrating?

Clinical psychologists will tell you it's dangerous to use "ADD" as a synonym for "easily distracted," or "OCD" as a synonym for "clean." Undermines and downplays the severity of the condition.

I'm not a clinical psychologist, so I won't tell you that. And I know you weren't doing that, and that Symbols wasn't, but I wanted to interject something to distance myself from the confession booth.

[Severian]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

good! never trust the internet. it's mostly a bunch of dicks. they're your friend one day and the next one they wanna put a pitchfork up your ass.

priests in history have been pressure to break the... what's it called... confessional seal? something. and when they resisted...

see here, quick google: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/ne...fession-44847/

Oh yah ok, I gotcha. I just didn't know what you meant. It wasn't clear to me that you were talking about priests breaking the seal. I was thinking militant Protestant reformation shit, like people being jailed or something for trying to confess? "No quick-stepping into heaven!!" Haha. See, I really just didn't know what you were saying. Sorry.

so, re: "sharing" like a 12-stepper, i know it's supposed to be therapeutic and all, so im not saying you're a terrible man for writing down your confessions in a public forum, but im just saying... only give your secrets to those you trust. they're not for everyone to examine, in spite of what jerry springer made the culture believe.

i keep a lot of secrets in my head, mine and other people's. mine are mine, and the other people's aren't mine to share so they don't leave this vault. they were given to me alone and i honor that.

okay but here a funny story: one time i was fucking this guy's wife and the guy showed up unexpected and i came out in my shorts and i was fucking nervous cuz i knew where he kept the shotguns. then i witnessed the weirdest marriage discussion i've ever witnessed. but im not fucking saying because that's not my story, i was just in the middle, not believing my eyes and ears.

for many years i wanted to be a writer but i'm never gonna be a writer, i know. i just hate to gossip/ spill the beans/ "share". cuz most people... are jackals ha ha ha. and they will eat your soul. but seriously. even non-jackals will turn into jackals when prompted. a nice bunch of people will turn into a jackal horde at the drop of a hat. yes, like your batman movie. i have little faith in the human species. fucking apes! anyway... best luck with all that.

I'm pretty much in full agreement with you on this. You're right.

Not just the internet... though it's definitely the internet, and I'm guarded as fuck about certain things because I have been fucked wth before in a scary and serious way (as I think I've told you). But it's just life. People are untrustworthy. I live in a mostly-rural area for the first time ever, and it's even worse in these little places. You really have to watch your fucking ass, because people are bored and people are awful and they'll fuck with your life if you piss them off.

I've always wanted to be a writer too. Like, an author... but I'm too fucking private. I'd have todo it under an alias and not tell anyone I know.

Also, I think 12-step is culturally self-indulgent, self-congratulatory, restrictive, reductive, and potentially dangerous. When it comes to addiction issues at least. You're just arming people against you, and backing yourself into a corner when you buy into that shit completely. I've seen it mess a lot of people up. It also strikes me as scientifically unsound. It's like a social quarantine model for dealing with these complicated personal issues. Quarantines may help the people outside the bubble, but the disease just spreads and reproduces and evolves inside the bubble, and the people who are actually quarantined are usually fucked. (The "disease" analogy is incidental here. I personally think almost all addiction issues are a result of bad luck and obsessive compulsive tendencies. Bad luck being, like, getting into a car accident and needing morphine for a while. If someone has symptoms of an anxiety disorder like obsessive or compulsive thought/behavior, that morphine might become a problem really goddamn fast. Faster than it would for someone without those characteristics. But really, if you give ANYONE morphine every day for a week, they're going to have an issue when you take it away. I just think some people are primed biochemically to be shittier at dealing with the problem. I do not think addiction itself is a true "disease." But what do I know.)

Nah. I have no interest in pursuing 12-steppy shit.