[choc e-Claire]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

Seriously, this is super cool!!! I don’t recall anyone from SYG ever talking about attending the Australian Open.......if they had (AO, Wimbledon, French Open, etc)......it was probably complaints about all the extra people in town and bloody long lines for the train.

Was this your first time attending or something you do every year? Is it expensive?

I do go each year. My grandfather is a volunteer driver (for example, this year he's driven Caroline Wozniacki and Ash Barty around, among others) so as part of his rewards he gets a bunch of free ground passes, some of which he gives to me.

It can be expensive, but a one day ground pass (like I had) costs $54 and you get to see any matches on any outside court all day. So if you're a tennis fan, and can handle the shitty Australian weather, it'd probably be worth it.

Originally Posted by h8kurdt

How many members are there on here from Australia? Alien anal is the only other one I can think of. Not exactly surprising you've not heard anyone else talk about it.

From my knowledge, we've got Alien Anal on one side of the country, and me, 'guest', and the adopted Aussie floatingslowly on the other.

Hm, one of these days we could meet up.

Originally Posted by evollove

I think the fact that modern society is trying to progress beyond "boyfriend/girlfriend" has led to some silly language. Even "partner" seems idiotic, as if the couple owned a business or were cops.

My last (and only proper) relationship was with a non-binary* person, and we actually had some discussions about what I could call them. We both thought partner was way too formal, and then they suggested that they'd heard 'datemate' somewhere, which I liked.
A lot of conversation for a relationship that lasted ten days...

Originally Posted by various people

[pictures of whatever tennis players they thought were hot]

While looking at tennis stats and shit for a blog I have, I came across a picture of Hana Mandlíková. If only I wasn't 40 years too late...

 

[evollove]

Originally Posted by Antagon

The notion of one hand clapping is of course not mine. But that particular analogy is mine as far as I know...

I'd say about 90% of the people in my life are experiencing depression right now. I'm not, and frankly I'm getting overwhelmed dealing with their tears. I'd like to encourage them to talk among themselves and give me a momentary break, and I think your post should help encourage them.

Originally Posted by choc e-Claire

If only I wasn't 40 years too late...

Maybe she's hot now. Ever think of that, you disgusting age-ist? "Oh, but 70 is too old for me." Whatever. Pol Pot said the same thing. Probably.

[choc e-Claire]

Originally Posted by evollove

Maybe she's hot now. Ever think of that, you disgusting age-ist? "Oh, but 70 is too old for me." Whatever. Pol Pot said the same thing. Probably.

You're just jealous that if you went for anyone my age you'd get called a creep.

[Antagon]

Originally Posted by evollove

I'd say about 90% of the people in my life are experiencing depression right now. I'm not, and frankly I'm getting overwhelmed dealing with their tears. I'd like to encourage them to talk among themselves and give me a momentary break, and I think your post should help encourage them.

Sure, you do you. Empathy is all good, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your own well-being. Or: Don't wreck yourself. And to be completely fair, most people that tell me about their problems aren't exactly shouting from the rooftops. Many tend to bury it somewhere inside until it becomes so big that cracks begin to show. It's those cracks that I see and know all too well from my own experience. And I want to show empathy to the best of my ability. I think I'm doing alright with that all things considered - I too have learned to treasure a bit of distance. That said, I still try to show compassion in some way. I'm just sometimes afraid my attempts come off as somewhat hollow, due to the distance I exude. But then again, what can you do? Just rambling on now. Anyway, what I wanted to say: I fully understand. And cool that you are not experiencing it right now, especially given the environment you described. Not being depressed is a state worth keeping. And a healthy distance can certainly help if things get too much for you.

[!@#$%!]

if im depressed or angry or whatever the last thing i want is some smug, chippy motherfucker trying to lord it over me with “positivity”.

motherfuckers like that don’t really wanna help you, they just wanna lard up their own egos with notions of emotional superiority. eat shit!

besides, they might be even more fucked up, but in denial. a lot of alkies and children of alkies are like that: the feigned enthusiasm. the fake, hollow smile.

so, hm, i’d rather play with a fellow sufferer with awareness than with some delusional. that is basically what a support group is, isn’t it?

suffering is unavoidable in life. sure, gratuitous suffering is masochism, but for the unavoidable part, gimme compasion not smug superiority.

old age, sickness, loss, death.

[Antagon]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

if im depressed or angry or whatever the last thing i want is some smug, chippy motherfucker trying to lord it over me with “positivity”.

I don't think anyone here was advocating for that. Because yeah, fuck that. Positivity is not something you can just switch on, it's hard work. And I do think people that lord it over you with fake appearances are being disrespectful to true positivity. It has its place, just as feeling bad and allowing yourself to feel bad has its place. You just can't force it on yourself, just as you shouldn't try to force it on someone else. Because that is indeed a dick move.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Antagon

I don't think anyone here was advocating for that. Because yeah, fuck that. Positivity is not something you can just switch on, it's hard work. And I do think people that lord it over you with fake appearances are being disrespectful to true positivity. It has its place, just as feeling bad and allowing yourself to feel bad has its place. You just can't force it on yourself, just as you shouldn't try to force it on someone else. Because that is indeed a dick move.

i dont know advocating but ive seen it done

anyway compassion is great. too much compassion can be a sickness or an addiction in itself, though. codependence is real.

tough balance to achieve—who said life was easy?

not me

[Antagon]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

i dont know advocating but ive seen it done

anyway compassion is great. too much compassion can be a sickness or an addiction in itself, though. codependence is real.

tough balance to achieve—who said life was easy?

not me

Right. I've seen it a good amount of times as well. Just wasn't sure if you were throwing that in in an ad hoc sort of way or expressing your displeasure with what's been discussed here. Compassion is awesome. I've just seen it being abused every now and then. Still wouldn't want to completely close myself off, that's certainly not the takeaway. It is however important to get the balance right. Be there for others, but nurture yourself as well. Cause those things should go hand in hand.

[!@#$%!]

yeah. actually helping people is an antidepressant. my old shrink said there are clinical studies. maybe he lied to me but either way hahaha. i believe it will boost your serotonin, to put it clinically.

so when you help a fellow depressed you become less depressed [eta: something along these lines... https://www.medicaldaily.com/random-...-levels-383563 ]

but then, there are the vampires.

[Antagon]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

yeah. actually helping people is an antidepressant. my old shrink said there are clinical studies. maybe he lied to me but either way hahaha. i believe it will boost your serotonin, to put it clinically.

I was more referring to the fact that if you don't nurture yourself, it's hard to be there for others. But sure, that is a nice side-effect. And in the end it does factor into the whole circle.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Antagon

I was more referring to the fact that if you don't nurture yourself, it's hard to be there for others. But sure, that is a nice side-effect. And in the end it does factor into the whole circle.

ah! yes!

self-care is número 1 (like arnold)

shrinks like to remind you of this as an example:

https://www.express.co.uk/travel/art...on-flight-mask

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

I used to watch tennis back in the day. I was in love with Stefi Graf, Martina Hingis

 

fun fact - Martina Hingis was born in Slovakia (to be precise, in the same city as I was). So, the beauty genes are there, for SURE

[choc e-Claire]

Originally Posted by _slavo_

fun fact - Martina Hingis was born in Slovakia (to be precise, in the same city as I was). So, the beauty genes are there, for SURE

"Of course the city's full of good looking people - after all, I'm from there."

[_slavo_]

Originally Posted by choc e-Claire

"Of course the city's full of good looking people - after all, I'm from there."

that's the point of the joke, yes

[evollove]

Originally Posted by choc e-Claire

You're just jealous that if you went for anyone my age you'd get called a creep.

I WOULD be a creep, so that's fair.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

if im depressed or angry or whatever the last thing i want is some smug, chippy motherfucker trying to lord it over me with “positivity”.

Does that happen often? I guess I understand the personality type you're talking about, but I don't have many people like that in my life.

I'm not chippy. Just not depressed at the moment. But I'm familiar with the malady, so people come to me. I don't even really give advice. I just listen to people moan and say "Yes. I understand. I've been there."

Originally Posted by Antagon

Compassion is awesome. I've just seen it being abused every now and then.

Yeah. I'm probably coming off as a self-absorbed asshole, but in some cases I have gone from "being there" to "be there always for me or else."

Originally Posted by Antagon

balance

I'm working on it.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by _slavo_

fun fact - Martina Hingis was born in Slovakia (to be precise, in the same city as I was). So, the beauty genes are there, for SURE

haaaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaa!!!

A++++++++

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by evollove

I'm not chippy. Just not depressed at the moment. But I'm familiar with the malady, so people come to me. I don't even really give advice. I just listen to people moan and say "Yes. I understand. I've been there."
.

ah! congrats man

yes

good

[choc e-Claire]

So I'm 'the destroyed room' now. Congrats me!

[EVOLghost]

Originally Posted by operator

someone call marie kondo.

My girl just start watching this. Probably the best thing that happened. She left my clothes neatly folded.

[choc e-Claire]

I was sitting on a V/Line train with my eyes closed (most of the time), listening to music (Goo), and moving backwards. It's extremely disorienting opening your eyes to find the train has stopped.