[Torn Curtain]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

therapy is the same thing. it;s performed by a psychiatrist/psychologist (only difference is that psychiatrists can prescribe medication)

and I DONT LIKE IT

Maybe you didn't meet the good one. Shrinks are not all bad, I was lucky to encounter good ones and it helped a lot.

[Bertrand]

I could be wrong, but didn't you disappear (at least from the board) two summers ago after ATP? I thought at the time something bad had happened to you.

[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by Torn Curtain

Maybe you didn't meet the good one. Shrinks are not all bad, I was lucky to encounter good ones and it helped a lot.

you clearly don't understand.

Originally Posted by Bertrand

I could be wrong, but didn't you disappear (at least from the board) two summers ago after ATP? I thought at the time something bad had happened to you.

i was in new york, incidentally living here at the chelsea but i was not in a bad way.

[This Is Not Here]

Originally Posted by ZEROpumpkins

They recently doubled my dose of anti depressents.
But I think everyone here takes those.

What? So the assumption is if you spend alot of time on a forum you must suffer from depression? thanks ZEROpumpkins.....

[terminal pharmacy]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

so i made a thread for this because we dont ever get real serious here. basically just to discuss mental conditions and the like.

don't read this if you don't want to:

historically ive never been very open about it but recently ive been in a very bad way for absolutely no good reason. so tonight i threw some things in a bag and got a guitar and now im staying in the chelsea hotel, completely reduced to browsing the internet on iphone or watching bad tv/dvds and sitting up in bed chain smoking. and like on the verge of tears every second for no reason.
i dont want to go to england or anywhere anymore. and if i dont go (family obligation) a lot of people might be disappointed but i feel like they probably won't be. fuck it.
probably i think i have bipolar disorder

i feel like that fairly regularly cantanky, i get severe depression which is a side effect of some of the drugs i am on for my other condition. i can stay in my house for four days and not talk to anyone and it is near impossible to even go to the shop and get a coffee. so i just sit smoking and playing my guitar or keyboard and sleep, not much i can do and it comes from nowhere. then i wake up one day and it is gone and all feels normal again, friends really don't help but i can recommend seeing a psychologist.

[This Is Not Here]

Alot of depression-suffering freinds sware by exercise, it creates endomorphines which counteract the chemical inbalance in your brain, apparently. I wouldn't know, I neither suffer from depression or exersise, but this is what I hear.

[Cantankerous]

exercise does NOT make me happy
i'm too weak physically to exercise anyway

you have no idea how much physical pain i am in right now
i feel like i got hit by a truck
also i keep getting these weird almost like adrenalin rushes but i'm not becoming more energetic and it's not just in my chest, it's in my legs and back and all over. it's very unsettling and uncomfortable

[EMMAh]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

exercise does NOT make me happy
i'm too weak physically to exercise anyway

Exercise doens't make me happy either haha.

[This Is Not Here]

Theres no such thing as being too weak to exercise, thats bollocks. The idea of exersise is you start off really easy and gradually work up. Now, if your in physical PAIN, thats a different matter, and it should be avoided. I suspect these adrenalin rushes have something to do with your drug intake Cantankerous. Would it be too intrusive to ask what you take?

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

brotherly loves overcomes our depression

[Cantankerous]

umm well i dont know if i really want to answer that question..

not crack or meth though. never. i'm psychotic enough as it is.

[This Is Not Here]

Well, thats fair enough, though its not like anyone's going to judge you for it, I would imagine many of the boardies here would have taken said substance anyway, I know I probably have. It would be far easier to tell largely complete strangers than family/friends. But anyhow, I can't think of any drug that would be blameless for your adrenaline rushes.

[Cantankerous]

but id ont know that its adrenalin anyway..what it feels like is ghosts passing through my body...like a combination of that feeling you get when youre about to fall off something and chills and its not localised like an adrenalin rush is
i cant relaly describe it well

[max]

well, here's my 2 cents. very quick and to the point.

drugs don't help for sure. psychologists might not, too. but if you do get the right person to talk about, someone who is competent, then i think that really might do something.

i studied psychology for 2 years at the university. then i totally bailed because i was clearly not in the mood for that headcase shit. i do undesrtand what you think about shrinks. it's a mess.

but mental health, as physical health does, comes with exercise.
practicing it only helps so far - you'v egot to be the one asking for help.

this thing you're typing in here, seems a lot like a call for help to me.
if you want to talk this over, let me know. we could talk on skype, or on the phone or something.

or whatever.


something out of nowhere? today i was sleeping with my girl and i had a very rough time finding comfort in bed all night long. i had 2 nigthmares. i woke up after the last one screaming "the truth will set us free" in english (i'm italian).

i tried to explain the dream to my girl who was clearly scared and i burst out in tears. i could not control my emotions at all. i was in a panic like i've never been before.

this shit is real and comes out of nowhere. you have to find your way out of it.

[EMMAh]

Dont' trying to play a guessing game or anything but you're not doing e are you?

[max]

i had a very similar feeling when the panic stroke this morning - shivers, on my back... something inside my chest i couldn't get rid off and could not control.

[This Is Not Here]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

but id ont know that its adrenalin anyway..what it feels like is ghosts passing through my body...like a combination of that feeling you get when youre about to fall off something and chills and its not localised like an adrenalin rush is
i cant relaly describe it well

Its sounds like the sensation of several lines of Speed really. You know people misunderstand drugs as a mental experience, whilst, in my experience its an intensly physical experience. I'm sorry to keep linking your sensation to drugs, I'm not getting preachy, but just drawing on my own experiences.

[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by EMMAh

Dont' trying to play a guessing game or anything but you're not doing e are you?

haha no
ive only done it once

[EMMAh]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

haha no
ive only done it once

Haha alright, cause that shit is pretty dirty.

How long have you been having these pain type feelings?

Whenever I have anxiety attacks I just get chills, a turning stomach, aches and slight pains and eventually I puke my brains out (but only if I don't calm myself down)
That sounds different from your symptoms so i dunno...

Seeing people get too into harder drugs worries me, especially when I like them haha. You should try your hardest to kick whatever habit it is you have going, it may sucks balls but it'll be better for you in the end Lilly.

[This Is Not Here]

Originally Posted by EMMAh

Dont' trying to play a guessing game or anything but you're not doing e are you?

Perhaps not E, but my suspision is, and I may well be wrong, is that these strange sensations people experience, and that I've felt myself, result from taking 'club drugs' in a thoroughly inappropriate situation, i.e. not in a club. People forget drugs like Ecstacy and Speed are designed for several-hour long birsts of physical activity, like dancing. I've foolishly taken these outside of this situation and my body couldn't cope with it, and I started experiencing sensations which are similar to what Cantankous is describing, something I've never experienced even after a big drugs intake and a night's clubbing. I'm not trying to guess or diagnose anything, as I said no drug is out of the question for causing this. They don't even have to cause it, it could be something else- even so, they aint exactly going to help...