[Everyneurotic]

alex needs to come to terms with a lot of things, and he surely needs someone to reassure himself since he's going thru the rough part of coming out, there's no fast way out of it, just hang in there, as lame as it sounds.

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by Everyneurotic

i thought we were talking about adolescence in general, not mister upper case's coming of age cinema.

that movie was lame.... it was missing the

 

and the

 

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

and how could I forget....

 

and of course

 

and if you are really crazy....

 

 

[SynthethicalY]

Drugs are used to escape ones reality. Sorry but I think that is why most people use drugs, to escape their own hardships.

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by SynthethicalY

Drugs are used to escape ones reality. Sorry but I think that is why most people use drugs, to escape their own hardships.

I'd say you are correct for drugs like the alcohol or the crack or the heroin pictured above, and definately for acid....

but natural things are like fruit, they just fill your head instead of your belly.

[SynthethicalY]

I try to think it that way, but I still think even weed is used to escape reality. Mostly because I know people who have used it. I also know it can be used for medical purpose, but overall I feel it is a replacement to fill the void one has.

[Everyneurotic]

Originally Posted by SynthethicalY

I try to think it that way, but I still think even weed is used to escape reality. Mostly because I know people who have used it. I also know it can be used for medical purpose, but overall I feel it is a replacement to fill the void one has.

agreed.

[Alex's Trip]

Originally Posted by ThePits

Um what has sexual orientation got to do with friendship?

Last time I heard, real friendship transcended race, creed, colour or sexual orientation

I love my friends that I have now, but it wouldn't hurt to have some queer companions that I could relate to. I don't like to talk to some of my friends about my homo problems, and the ones I do talk with have a limited view on the matter.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

yes, but there is such thing as premature wisdom. alex just needs a good manhug. and there is no substitute for that, is it? the body is the body is the body. im not suggesting anything raunchy here, by the way. but at 16 one needs to be someone's boyfriend, without being too serious. just saying. from my own hetero perspective, i totally understand the yearning & unease-- damn!! being a teenager sucked. except for the good parts, of course.

Yeah, but you always seem to put the sexual part before the mental one. The manhug you talk about is more likely to be the feeling of being able to relate to someone who understands you, rather than just a quick shag. And let's be clear that it is way more difficult to find that someone if you are a teenager and gay. That's a fact that you can't deny. In saying that, good times happen no matter what.

[Alex's Trip]

Porky, you, like, totally get me.

[/tween]

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by sarramkrop

Yeah, but you always seem to put the sexual part before the mental one. The manhug you talk about is more likely to be the feeling of being able to relate to someone who understands you, rather than just a quick shag. And let's be clear that it is way more difficult to find that someone if you are a teenager and gay. That's a fact that you can't deny. In saying that, good times happen no matter what.

if it was merely a matter of the mind then he could talk to a priest, or a book (or even the internet )would be good enough. i am for the mind, but i am strongly against denying the body in the name of romantic abstractions. i never (ever) said "a quick shag", that is an error of people who practice dualism-- mind vs. body, good vs. evil-- which is ultimately a load of balls.

i think (i speculate, from inference) that alex lives perhaps too much in his head. it would not hurt him to descend into his skeleton & find out what it does & how it operates. the body is a great & wonderful thing, not some useless moprag.

there is something that a whiff of the smell of your loved one can give you that no "mental" exchange can give you. something that feeds the body and the emotions in a way that no idea can. there is no need to dirty the body by claiming that all it wants is a "quick shag". just read walt whitman, he explains it all beautifully.

[Alex's Trip]

I'm not sure what I need, to be honest.

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

if it was merely a matter of the mind then he could talk to a priest, or a book (or even the internet )would be good enough. i am for the mind, but i am strongly against denying the body in the name of romantic abstractions. i never (ever) said "a quick shag", that is an error of people who practice dualism-- mind vs. body, good vs. evil-- which is ultimately a load of balls.

i think (i speculate, from inference) that alex lives perhaps too much in his head. it would not hurt him to descend into his skeleton & find out what it does & how it operates. the body is a great & wonderful thing, not some useless moprag.

there is something that a whiff of the smell of your loved one can give you that no "mental" exchange can give you. something that feeds the body and the emotions in a way that no idea can. there is no need to dirty the body by claiming that all it wants is a "quick shag". just read walt whitman, he explains it all beautifully.

Ok, whatever. I never said that the flesh doesn't need looking after too, but believe me, things are not that simple if you are gay and young, and unless you go through it, you don't really know what it feels like.

[Tokolosh]

Adolescence is normally tough for both gay or straight teenagers. It's about coming to terms with yourself as an individual in the big angry world.
It should soon pass Alex.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by sarramkrop

Ok, whatever. I never said that the flesh doesn't need looking after too, but believe me, things are not that simple if you are gay and young, and unless you go through it, you don't really know what it feels like.

things are not that simple if youre hetero & young either, that yearning for connection is rather universal-- holy ass i remember being desperate for a girlfriend and it took me a while to find the right one where, yes, she got me, i got her, it was mental as it was physical, but it took a bit of trial and error to get there, she didn't fall from the sky & until that happened yes it was lonely and sad and a little desperate, and my clumsy encounters with partial matches only helped me realize what i wanted wasn't there.

so... yes, not being gay i dont "know" what it is like, but what he described in his post was to me something i knew well, very well. i can only GUESS that it's more difficult because where i had friends, cousins, uncles, grandparents and a vast body of literature to consult on my travails, i think alex lacks the support. so hm it falls upon you porks to provide. but please don't send him back up into the brain... he's already suppa-brainy!!

The only vital difference is that, as Alex pointed out, he doesn't feel comfortable talking about his sexuality with his parents and his friends. That would be easier if you were a straight teenager, I'm afraid. I'm talking from the point of view of someone who's had a fairly easy ride with both the coming out and being accepted, but I've heard so many horrifying stories, you wouldn't believe.

[Alex's Trip]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

but please don't send him back up into the brain... he's already suppa-brainy!!

I'm not that brainy! I don't know where you get that notion that I just stay at home alone reading and doing homework all day. Today I went to a coffee shop with two of my friends, and walked around town for a while. Then I went to my other friend's house to have a Halo 2 party with 10 or 12 other people (and I fuckin' owned).

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by sarramkrop

The only vital difference is that, as Alex pointed out, he doesn't feel comfortable talking about his sexuality with his parents and his friends. That would be easier if you were a straight teenager, I'm afraid. I'm talking from the point of view of someone who's had a fairly easy ride with both the coming out and being accepted, but I've heard so many horrifying stories, you wouldn't believe.

yes. i made that very point in my last paragraph. now uncle porkie, it's up to you to tell alex about the joys and perils of naked sunbathing.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Alex's Trip

I'm not that brainy! I don't know where you get that notion that I just stay at home alone reading and doing homework all day. Today I went to a coffee shop with two of my friends, and walked around town for a while. Then I went to my other friend's house to have a Halo 2 party with 10 or 12 other people (and I fuckin' owned).

halo = computer game = not physical

im not saying you're not social, don't get me wrong. the internet is highly social for example, but it's all in the head. the head.

now, dance parties, that's another story.

[Alex's Trip]

I WALKED around town. Eh? Eh?

But dancing? I'm not so good with the dancing.