so, my girlfriend shoved her finger in my butt the other day... - Page 4

jon boy · 02.26.2007, 01:05 PM

its always the ones who shout the loudest that like it really.

jon boy · 02.26.2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama

I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!

hahahaha

whatever you say!

SuchFriendsAreDangerous · 02.26.2007, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demonrail666

The finger up the bum deal huh? Next she'll want you to take off your socks in bed. Be careful. She's up to something.

that shit is funny. but dudes, keep fingers out of your asses! insertion is for chicks man, and inserting is for dudes. when you start to mix that shit up, you wont remember whats up from down anymore man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama

Did you know, that although women can enjoy receptive anal intercourse, or even insertive anal intercourse for that matter, only men have fully developed prostates, also known as "male G-spots" [7], "P-spots" or "A-spots".[8] The prostate is located near men's rectums and is the larger, more fully formed male homologue to the Skene's glands located near women's vaginas.

so?

Rob Instigator · 02.26.2007, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama

It's EXIT ONLY, huh Rob?!

I have never seen my own bunghole. I keep it clean as can be. I would imagine it is surrounded by a nimbus of ass hairs.
I don;t want to look at my own butthole, why would I want anyone else to look at it, much less to stick their finger in it and have the underside of their fingernails faintly wafting the odor of the anal paste and ichor and slime that coats the inside walls of the colon for the next few days?

ha!

actually, every year since I have been 25 or so, due to family history of colon cancer being very rampant, the good doctor has had to stick either his fingers or an ultrasound wand up my asshole along with lube jelly, and it is the single most dreaded and uncomfortable few minutes of my entire year.
Seeing as I am 33, that means I have had something going in the "out" door at least 6-7 times.

I can swear that, with all veracity, my cock actually shrunk two thirds it's normal size during these procedures.

having a lady do it to me would recall such discomfort... no way man.

NO WAY!

jon boy · 02.26.2007, 02:14 PM

my sister is a nurse and once had to deal with a guy who put a coffee jar up his ass and couldnt get it out and eventually smashed causing him to lose half of his bowels.

just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week.

Trasher02 · 02.26.2007, 02:17 PM

Haha is this thread still alive?

noumenal · 02.26.2007, 02:26 PM

Check out these enema pants:

"These self flushing enema pants have a hose at the end of the cock sheath from the front to pee in then they attach via hose to the inflatable pump up insertable butt plug to flush you out. This are a new item and made from European Latex. Great for Watersport Play and of course for the Enema lover. Available in size; small, medium, large, extra-large and 2X."

jon boy · 02.26.2007, 02:29 PM

whats the difference between european latex and non european latex? there is no punchline here its a real question ok.

noumenal · 02.26.2007, 02:33 PM

Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question. People make weird decisions when they're trying to sell something. I guess calling it "European" makes it sound special and fancy, like Swiss chocolate or Italian leather or whatever.

screamingskull · 02.26.2007, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy

just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week.

ha!

porkmarras · 02.27.2007, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous

that shit is funny. but dudes, keep fingers out of your asses! insertion is for chicks man, and inserting is for dudes. when you start to mix that shit up, you wont remember whats up from down anymore man.

so?

You really are an idiot,aren't you?

zedius · 02.27.2007, 03:10 PM

Today I got my butt checked out at the doctors and about 30 seconds after I was bent over with a thing up there my cell phone rang a happy jazz tune :s

Rob Instigator · 02.27.2007, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zedius

Today I got my butt checked out at the doctors and about 30 seconds after I was bent over with a thing up there my cell phone rang a happy jazz tune :s

funny! If I laughed while the doc had his shit third knuckle deep I would fart in his face,

Inhuman · 02.27.2007, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy

my sister is a nurse and once had to deal with a guy who put a coffee jar up his ass and couldnt get it out and eventually smashed causing him to lose half of his bowels.

just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week.

hahahahaha.

I once had to get a tube up my FRONT end and it was almost the diameter of a pencil. The doctor took his sweet time and I couldn't feel my dick for the rest of the day.

Rob Instigator · 02.27.2007, 04:17 PM

up the front end is no good.

I hd surgery to remove a cyst that was growing at the base of my cock (inside, where the urethra meets up with the tubes from the bladder and the gonads) and that shit was no fun. Oh but the vicodin haze, I never loved LOVELESS more.

Green_mind · 02.27.2007, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inhuman

hahahahaha.

I once had to get a tube up my FRONT end and it was almost the diameter of a pencil. The doctor took his sweet time and I couldn't feel my dick for the rest of the day.

A pencil sized probe up your penis?! Thats inhuman!!

Inhuman · 02.27.2007, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green_mind

A pencil sized probe up your penis?! Thats inhuman!!

It was! I thought the surgery would be similar to the examination (which was the size of a spaghetti strip), but it was this red tube with a probing camera inside. I was like "The hell's the tube for?" and he had to fill me bladder up with water. It was gross stuff.

Aw I could imagine how the urethral cyst would suck too Rob. I heard about those and they seem really nasty. Sometimes they even have to go as far as cutting part of the urethra out and joining the ends, I would hate to have one!

Rob Instigator · 02.27.2007, 05:15 PM

well, I woke up from surgery and the first thought in my head was "check for a catheter" because ina worst case scenario (the one you mentioned) they would have ahd to insert one in me. I pulled up the blanket and saw no catheter, which made me relieved, and then i realized there was TONS OF BLOOD all over my crotch and bed and blankets!!!

freak out!

Washing Machine · 02.27.2007, 05:49 PM

How did such a wholesome topic as anal sex get on to this?...

Rob Instigator · 02.27.2007, 05:54 PM

have you ever gone to pee after urethra surgery and had what felt like the world's thickest biggest coagulated blood phlegm loogie get pushed out of your penis by the wall of urine waiting to be released? HOLY FUCK that is the single weirdest horrible feeling I have ever had. it looked worse than it felt tooo, sinking hard to the bottom of the toilet.

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD PEOPLE
NOTHING'S EASY
NOTHING'S FREE

02.26.2007, 01:05 PM	#61
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	its always the ones who shout the loudest that like it really. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.26.2007, 02:14 PM	#65
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	my sister is a nurse and once had to deal with a guy who put a coffee jar up his ass and couldnt get it out and eventually smashed causing him to lose half of his bowels. just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.26.2007, 02:17 PM	#66
Trasher02 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 6,356	Haha is this thread still alive? __________________ 666
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.26.2007, 02:26 PM	#67
noumenal expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,855	Check out these enema pants: "These self flushing enema pants have a hose at the end of the cock sheath from the front to pee in then they attach via hose to the inflatable pump up insertable butt plug to flush you out. This are a new item and made from European Latex. Great for Watersport Play and of course for the Enema lover. Available in size; small, medium, large, extra-large and 2X."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.26.2007, 02:29 PM	#68
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	whats the difference between european latex and non european latex? there is no punchline here its a real question ok. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.26.2007, 02:33 PM	#69
noumenal expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,855	Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question. People make weird decisions when they're trying to sell something. I guess calling it "European" makes it sound special and fancy, like Swiss chocolate or Italian leather or whatever.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.27.2007, 03:10 PM	#72
zedius children of satan Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Victoria, B.C. Posts: 260	Today I got my butt checked out at the doctors and about 30 seconds after I was bent over with a thing up there my cell phone rang a happy jazz tune :s __________________ Do you believe in raptors?
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.27.2007, 04:17 PM	#75
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	up the front end is no good. I hd surgery to remove a cyst that was growing at the base of my cock (inside, where the urethra meets up with the tubes from the bladder and the gonads) and that shit was no fun. Oh but the vicodin haze, I never loved LOVELESS more. __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.27.2007, 05:15 PM	#78
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	well, I woke up from surgery and the first thought in my head was "check for a catheter" because ina worst case scenario (the one you mentioned) they would have ahd to insert one in me. I pulled up the blanket and saw no catheter, which made me relieved, and then i realized there was TONS OF BLOOD all over my crotch and bed and blankets!!! freak out! __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.27.2007, 05:49 PM	#79
Washing Machine expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Cardiff, Spiderland Posts: 1,465	How did such a wholesome topic as anal sex get on to this?... __________________ ....Of Course its some kinda cosmic payback for being too ironic!
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

02.27.2007, 05:54 PM	#80
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,976	have you ever gone to pee after urethra surgery and had what felt like the world's thickest biggest coagulated blood phlegm loogie get pushed out of your penis by the wall of urine waiting to be released? HOLY FUCK that is the single weirdest horrible feeling I have ever had. it looked worse than it felt tooo, sinking hard to the bottom of the toilet. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD PEOPLE NOTHING'S EASY NOTHING'S FREE __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|