[automatic bzooty]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to davenotdead again.

I think I may have died laughing just now.

[automatic bzooty]

You: GUESS WHAT
You: I HAVE BONER
Stranger: so has i
You: we should bond
You: let's bond
Stranger: aim=kyleross1994
You: i don't have aim ):
You: just one giant throbbing boner
Stranger: msn=mabouman@msn.com
You: i have icq
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[SYRFox]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: are you raging?
You: do you feel like getting on your nerves right now ?
Stranger: hey dude
Stranger: no im not
Stranger: im actually calm
You: that's cool
You: cause i don't like people who are getting on their nerves
You: they get on my nerves
You: and i don't like to get on my nerves
You: so people who are getting on their nerves get on my nerves
You: and i don't like getting on my nerves because of people who are getting on their nerves, they get on my nerves
Stranger: alright dude, i'll be sure to remember that
You: cool then!
You: cause i wouldn't like to get on my nerves.
Stranger: who would
You: i think that needed to be stated.
Stranger: ok ok i get it
Stranger: so whats ur name dude
You: my name's "Le Nerf Optique"
You: quite a shitty name innnit
You: what about you ?
Stranger: nahhh its awesome
Stranger: what all the cool kids are named
You: i dunno, "kevin" or some shit nah?
Stranger: ok im emily
You: nice name
Stranger: thanks dude
You: you're welcome.
You: and when i say you're welcome, i mean it
You: i mean i mean it
You: like, really
Stranger: I BELIEVE U!!!!
Stranger: like really
Stranger: when i say i believe u, i believe u
Stranger: so i believe u
You: that was the most emotional thing i've ever heard in my whole life
You: i'm having shivers right now
You: i like your style
You: we should just
You: SHOUT AT EACH OTHER
Stranger: FINE DUDE!! U WANNA SHOUT! WE'LL SHOUT!!
You: YEAH
You: HELL YEAH
You: I'VE GOT A BRAND NEW MEGAPHONE FOR THAT PURPOISE
You: PURPOSE
You: WHERES THAT I COMING FROM
You: I GET ON MY NERVES
Stranger: DUDE I DONT EVEN NEED A MEGAPHONE
Stranger: I'LL SHOULDA= AT U USING MY VOICE
You: WOAH
You: NOW THATS IMPRESSING
Stranger: OH YEA DUDE
Stranger: I MIGHT LOSE MY VOICE AFTER
Stranger: BUT ITS OK!!!!
You: YEAH NO PROBLEM
You: VOICES ARE NERVOUS
You: ANYWAY
You: I'LL TRY MODULATING MY VOICE
You: LIKE that OH my GOD that's TOO crazy
Stranger: NICE DUDE
Stranger: I LIKE SCREWMING
Stranger: SCREAMING**
You: YEAH
Stranger: BRB DUDE
You: BBQ GIRL
Stranger: OK IM BACK
Stranger: WHAT?
You: I THINK I JUST SAID
You: BARBECUE
You: NOT SURE
You: THOUGH
You: KNOW WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW?
Stranger: WHATTTT
You: A BARBECUE IS WHAT I NEED
Stranger: WE SHOULD SO HAVE ONE DUDE
You: YEAAH
You: A BARBECUE ON THE MOON
Stranger: I'LL BRING THE GRILL
You: I'LL BRING THE BUFALO
Stranger: YUMMMMM
You: MUUUUY
You: MUCHO
Stranger: SI!!!!
You: JA!!!!!
You: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR VOICE?
You: THAT'S WHAT THE MEGAPHONE WAS FOR!!
Stranger: NO DUDE I HAVEN'T
Stranger: NOT YET
Stranger: *goes in ur ear and screams* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
You: *goes in the street and screams*
You: *goose in the street, screaming*
Stranger: HUH
Stranger: THAT MADE NO SENSE DUDE
You: WHAT MAKES SENSE
You: NOTHING MAKES SENSE
You: I COULD AS WELL BE AN AXOLOTL OR SOMETHING OMNISCIENT
Stranger: OK DUDEEEEE
Stranger: WHAT EVER U SAYYYYYYY
Stranger: I THINK I LOST MY VOICE
Stranger: I NEED UR MEGAPHONE!!!!
You: YOU WONT HAVE MY MEGAPHONE BUT YOU MIGHT GET ANOTHER ONE INSTEAD IMMA FAXIN YOU ONE MEGAPHONE LIKE RIGHT NOW
You: CHECK YOUR FAX
You: MAKE SURE IT DOESNT REST IN YOUR SPAM FOLDER CAUSE IT COULD
Stranger: WAITTTT
Stranger: I GOT IT DUDE
Stranger: THANKS A LOTTTT
Stranger: ITS PURPLE, HOW'D U KNOW THAT WAS MY FAV COLOR
Stranger:
You: I GUESSED
You: I COULD AS WELL BE AN AXOLOTL OR SOMETHING OMNISCIENT
You: MINE'S GOT ALL THE COLORS
You: PLUS ITS TRANSPARENT
Stranger: WELL I THINK I'LL STICK TO MY PURPLE ONE
Stranger: ITS COOL
You: LOOK INSIDE YOUR MEGAPHONE
You: DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
Stranger: HUH NO
You: THE VOID IS IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!
You: A BLACK VORTEX CRASHING INTO EVERYTHING
You: ITS HARMFUL SO YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL OTHERWISE IT MIGHT MELT WITH YOUR FACE
You: WHICH WOULD BE QUITE AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE I GUESS
Stranger: THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP DUDE
Stranger: I'LL BE CAREFUL
You: GREAT
Stranger: OH DUDE WHAT TIME SHOULD I MEET U
You: EVERYTIME'S THE TIME
You: WE 'VE ALREADY MET
You: I WAS IN YOUR DREAM LAST NIGHT
Stranger: NOOO FOR OUR BBQ
Stranger: REMEMBER
Stranger: UHHH NO U WERENT IN MY DREAM
You: AAAH YEAH THATS IT
You: THATS BECAUSE THAT BBQ WAS A DAMN DREAM THATS WHY
You: I WAS CONFUSED
Stranger: IM CONFUSED NOW
Stranger: WHAAAAATTTTT
Stranger: DUDE UR SO CONFUSING
Stranger: ANYBODY EVER TELL UTHAT
You: NOPE
You: AT LEAST I DONT GET ON YOUR NERVES
Stranger: I GUESS IM THE FIRST
Stranger: UH UH NOBODY GETS ON MY NERVES
Stranger: I DONT LET THEM
You: OBVIOUSLY
You: THAT WOULD HURT BAD
Stranger: UH HUH
Stranger: DUDE I'VE GOTTA GO
Stranger: C YA LATERRRR
You: OKAY C YA
Stranger: OH AND IM GONNA KEEP THE MEGAPHONE
Stranger: BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: NO PROBLEMO
You: BYE BYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[automatic bzooty]

this was just strange:

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: asl

Stranger: hey

Stranger: 20

Stranger: M

Stranger: TW

You: tw?

You: timmy washington?

You: is that yoooou?

You: i fuckin' miss timmy washington

You: he was my best friend in kindergarten

You: i wonder whatever happened to timmy

You: oh my god

You: what if timmy died

You: he was always

You: really sick all the time

Stranger: i don't know what you say

You: timmy washington!!!! he was my friend!

You: what/where is tw?

You: thurston wallace?

Stranger: taiwan

You: thurston wallace was my other best friend ... but in high school

You: he was such a douchebag

Stranger: release

You: yes please

You: release me stranger

You: let's release each other

You: and forget about thurston, and timmy, and just be ourselves

You: and love

You: release

You: we will become infinite, stranger

You: let us release

You: into that great night

You: it will be beautiful

You: release all over me

You: RIGHT NOW

Stranger: ..

You: you can call me marquita if you like

You: if you need to scream in the act of release

You: because i do

Stranger: you are male?

You: mtf

You: not anymore

Stranger: asL?

You: 23/mtf/new jersey

You: get me out of jersey, stranger. i want to go to taiwan

You: i want to experience release

Stranger: OKay

Stranger: if you came to Taiwan

Stranger: you can call me

Stranger: i take you to fun

You: i <3 fun

You: what is fun in taiwan

Stranger: seaside

Stranger: it's summer now

You: it's summer here too!

You: summer in jersey is nastaaaaaay

You: it smells like fish

You: if fish smelled like BOOTAY

You: i gotta go

You: how do i call taiwan???

Stranger: call my phone number

You: what it is

Stranger: Taiwan

Stranger: i living in taiwan

You: quickly stranger there's not much time

You: what is your number

You: in taiwan

Stranger: my name

Stranger: texta

Stranger: you can call me texta if you like

You: what is your name

You: texta

You: ohhh!

You: srry

You: okay i will call you and we will have great fun texta

You: we shall release

You: good day

You have disconnected.

[EVOLghost]

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

Stranger: Jesse?

You: Wer spricht hier denn?

Stranger: yes, let's fuck

You: Ficken? Aber warum ficken wir hier jetzt? Gibt es richtige Gruende?

Stranger: jätkä mitä vittua sä selität

Stranger: fich mich

You: Sprechen Sie Finnisch? Leider sprech' ich nicht diese Sprache?

Stranger: tajusin ekan lauseen.

Stranger: ja joo.

You: Ja? Ich denke, dass wir keine Sprache haben, indem wir kann plaustchen. Das ist eine Schade.

Stranger: Juu ei oo saksaa ei.

lolol

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by automatic bzooty

You: i don't have aim ):
You: just one giant throbbing boner

posting in solidarity.

 

oddly enough, floatingslowly was my aim name.

[afterthefact]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hello

Stranger: i am norwegian girl and 15

You: you are the devil

Stranger: no

You: I bet you are

Stranger: wh`?

You: I read about you, in that book

You: oh yeah, the bible

Stranger: you are nuts¨

Stranger: !

You: you can't tempt me

Stranger: ?

You: with the apple, I mean

You: cause I won't eat it

Stranger: you are mentaly il?

You: Is this one of your tricks?

You: You aren't as good at this as you used to be

Stranger: i am an atheist

You: Well I would imagine so

Stranger: lol¨

You: so anyway, how's it going?

Stranger: good

You: really?

Stranger: yeah

You: cause God is going to destroy you soon

Stranger: no

Stranger: he do not exsist

You: I bet you'd like that

Stranger: lol

You: I'm not mad at you

You: I'm just sayin'

You: so you know

You: so what kind of music do you like?

Stranger: how old are you?

You: probably metal

Stranger: no

You: me? I'm 26

Stranger: i dont like it

Stranger: jass

You: really? that's weird, I really would have thought Satan would be into metal...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sonic Youth 37]

Every time I connect, the person asks where I'm from and disconnects after I give an answer, no matter what.

[EVOLghost]

Originally Posted by afterthefact

Stranger: nice tight pussy?

You: I'm a dood

You: but sure

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

LOL!

[static-harmony]

Stranger: asl plz
You: Penis
You: you?

[automatic bzooty]

You: hawlo
You: asi
You: kybrud proekb
You: ijsizzed onat
You: ihgaveno
Stranger: YOU jizzed on that?
You: alalover
You: nwow iutst freakihgnbeout
You: imetethhis hhhrot frehcnhhchickl
Stranger: Lawdy lawdy.
You: ikjmown righyg//
Stranger: You met this hot french chick?
Stranger: I follow.
You: polon ohglme
Stranger: Oh god.
Stranger: /An hero.
You: iklm jikassikjng jusssfd tbhijkning abiout arher
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[static-harmony]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i went to the dentist today
Stranger: I hate the dentist
You: I hate disney
Stranger: haha
Stranger: lol
Stranger: im gonna smoke some weed
Stranger: are you ok with that?
You: Yeah imma shroom later'
Stranger: nice
You: gonna see things and stuff
Stranger: never done shrooms
Stranger: coke once
Stranger: greatest thing ever
You: it's like acid but way intense
Stranger: im never gonna do it again
You: I would never do that
Stranger: never done acid either
Stranger: weed weed weed for me
You: I am only sticking to weed, shrooms, acid, and E
Stranger: ye
You: Ever done E?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: had a few chances
You: I see
You: I rave a lot that's why
Stranger: ill prob take it up next time tho
Stranger: oh
Stranger: you a guy or girl?
You: Guy you?
Stranger: guy
Stranger: age?
You: 23 you?
Stranger: 21
You: cool
Stranger: you ever got a chick to cyber on here?
You: nope, you?
Stranger: oh yea
Stranger: naked pics too
Stranger: its fun to see what you can get em to do
Stranger: ya know
You: oh lol
Stranger: haha
You: i wouldn't be interested anyways
Stranger: not as good as the real thing of course
Stranger: but its fun
You: yeah
You: I prefer to get guys to get naked
Stranger: wow
Stranger: I dont bat on that side of the plate man
You: it's cool
Stranger: i am not catching what your throwin at me
Stranger: its not cool
Stranger: its not cool at all
Stranger: its actually kind of UN cool
You: I know god would be pissed
Stranger: he would
Stranger: your going to hell for sure
You: But god isn't real
You: he was made up by man
Stranger: nope
Stranger: man was made by god

[automatic bzooty]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I eat cats
You: I am a cat
You: Will you eat me?
You: Please?
Stranger: woah i think were moving a little fast
You: i don't
You: i like it fast
You: well,
You: first things first.
Stranger: so you want me to eat you quickly?
You: how would you eat me? grilled, raw?
You: if raw, yes, quickly.
Stranger: Grilled or raw?! Fried bitch!
You: DEEP fried?
Stranger: nope shallow fried
You: ah good
You: idk, most i know are into raw cat
You: but everyone i know is a fucking hipster douchebag so whatev
Stranger: HA sucks for you
Stranger: i actually have friends
You: i have friens
You: hipster friends
You: we talk about animal collective and pitchfork
You: and go to american apperal
You: and talk about our blogs
You: we're fucking cats mang what d'you expect
You: i hope you're not into that by the way
You: fucking cats
Stranger: yeah sorry about that i forgot for a second
Stranger: oh umm....
You: my friend got killed by a human penis
You: now we are four
Stranger: yeah i do that quite a bit sorry if i did it to your friend
You: oh man
You: it's okay
You: like i said, douchebags, the lot of em
Stranger: Yeah once yall change from kittens to cats it just all goes down hill
You: especially fwuffums, what a dick
You: puberty was hard on that sonuvabitch
You: but i don't care
You: see
You: this is me NOT CARING, fwuffums
You: hope you can hear me in the afterlife...
You: ... dick
Stranger: wow that;s a lil harsh
You: it's okay
Stranger: but eh i eat cats so i don't have much room to talk
You: he was my boyfriend for a while
You: and he used to beat me
Stranger: good that's how a relationship should be!
You: one day he smashed my orange urban outfitters wayfarers, i was so fucking pissed. then he smashed my face.
You: because it was behind my wayfarers.
You: it's all scarred now, my face
You: i think my friends only hang out with me ironically
You: because of fwuffums mccloud
You: so yeah, i'm glad you fucked him to peices man
Stranger: oh well just cut off your face then it'll solve some problems
You: d'you eat cats with sauce?
You: or seasoning?
Stranger: yeah my secret sauce
You: oh baby
You: describe it to me
Stranger: nah i'd rather not it's one of those things you just gotta try
You: aw
You: how am i going to imagine it dripping down my back and into my mouth then?
You: i am so bummed out, stranger
You: can i call you that? should i call you something else, stranger?
Stranger: you should call me STRANGER!
Stranger: it shows more emphasis
You: STRANGER! like that, STRANGER!?
You: i like that
You: very 2k9, STRANGER!
You: fashion forward
You: n shit
Stranger: yeah that;s what i was going for
You: braaaaaaaaaaaaavo, STRANGER!
Stranger: and why the hell does my apostrophe always turn into a semi colon?!
You: i have no idea
You: life's little mysteries
Stranger: FML!
You: MILA :\
Stranger: im gonna kill myself if it wappens again
You: don't do it, STRANGER!
You: you have so much to give
You: i mean, you have to eat me, first
You: and then all my friends
You: and their friends
You: and their aunts
You: and uncles
You: fuck, you have so much to live for
You: if nothing else, cats.
Stranger: so i shouldn;t do it?
You: no really STRANGER!, man, i love you man
You: NO
Stranger: __________________________________________________ _
You: DON'T DO IT
You: STRANGER!
You: CAN YOU HEAR ME, STRANGER!
Stranger: *STRANGER is now dead*
You: oh fuckadillos
You: c'mon man ressurect you can do it
Stranger: *Strangers ghost says goodbye*
You: bye stranger. ):
You: i'll miss you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[static-harmony]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 안뇽?!
You: Are you god?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i`m a god
Stranger: beilieve me
You: I do, do you have sexual fantasies about pamela anderson?
Stranger: what?..
Stranger: I`m no sexual god
You: Oh ok, so you rather see Brad Pitt naked then
Stranger: ha.......ha...............buy
Stranger: i`m a girl
You: Ok so you must be the virgin mary then
Stranger: yes
You: Nice, is it true you had other sons?
Stranger: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[automatic bzooty]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: bukkake
You: bukkake
You: will you bukkake me
You: please
You: bukkake
You: bukkake
You: right now
You: please
Stranger: yeah sure but il have to call round a few mates
You: okay
You: call them
You: i want bukkake
You: rain of jizz
Stranger: wait there a sec..
You: no i can't wait
You: my boner is throbbing
You: need bukkake
Stranger: what numbers are you comfortable with
Stranger: 10
Stranger: 50
Stranger: 100
Stranger: ?
You: as high as you can make it
You: my dream is to be bukkaked by the entire planet
Stranger: lol
You: we shall know peace when we know bukkake
You: the world will be one giant globule of sperm
You: glory glory
Stranger: well drown in sperm!
You: you called them mates yet?
Stranger: aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
You: no, just me
You: everybody else will be too busy aiming for my face
Stranger: well b in boats then ready for the flood like noah?
You: yeah
You: they didn't mean REAL animals
Stranger: meataphor
You: and they can't count, what's this about two by two?
Stranger: thats how many there was
You: i see what you did there
You: anyway
You: bukkake
You: where is it
You: i want the goods
You: bring it man
Stranger: wait hold every one cant make it
Stranger: i have an idea
You: dammit
You: i don't care
Stranger: no its good
You: someone, anyone
You: my dick is going to fall the fuck off mang
Stranger: this is rite....
You: come on
You: help a bro out
You: and come on
You: me
Stranger: wank off and just when come fire it up into the air run underneath it and let it land on your head
Stranger: prefect
Stranger: solo buakkake
Stranger: im on to something here i tink
You: sounds good
You: but gravity don't play that game here in CHINA
You: did i say china? i meant australia
Stranger: well
You: i don't even know where i am with this giant dizzying prick
You: well
You: i have to go
Stranger: stick some metal to it use it as a compass
You: i'm dying of dicksaustion.
You: bye, love
You have disconnected.

[atsonicpark]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: yo

Stranger: yo man

You: i am fucked up on acid

You: figured i'd try this shit

You: i'm taco farting right now

Stranger: u have a cam

You: no

You: i have a big dick

You: i like to fuck bloody tampons

Stranger: im a guy

*end*

[static-harmony]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dead Disney
Stranger: why
You: Just because
You: Are you one of them?
You: brainwashing little children?
Stranger: no
You: into buying a shit load of stupid things?
Stranger: i dong not think so
Stranger: i don not think so
You: Oh ok, you are safe to talk to
You: They are after me, they know I know they are the new world order
You: First is the kids, then the adults
Stranger: i am a 17 boy
Stranger: i love disney
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[atsonicpark]

Originally Posted by Trasher02

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

You: *throws frisbee*

You: Hey, can you throw me my frisbee back?

Stranger: *throw frisbee back*

You: thanks
You have disconnected.

This is the best one.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by automatic bzooty

Stranger: aim=kyleross1994

hey what do you reckon his name is?

[phoenix]

too many people type asl as their first freaking thing they say.