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#1 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Aylmer(now Gatineau), Quebec
Posts: 1,756
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a few rules:
1. It has to be something YOU heard. Not something someone told you about. 2. It can't be something that was said by email of on a message board 3. It cannot be something that YOU said.
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#2 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 9,527
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Something or other about Weapons of Mass Destruction. Everyone knew it was bullshit, but the guy carried on like it was true anyway.
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#3 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,408
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I heard a guy say to one of his friends, while looking at speakers in a very valley guy voice.Dude these speakers are like the shit. I started laughing my ass off. Poor, poor guy.
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#4 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 11,110
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Superman is on a beach, he looks around and sees a naked lady. He thinks to himself 'Hmm, If I fuck her at the speed of light, she wont notice' He quickly does it, And then after, Invisible Man says 'My butt hurts.'
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#5 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 9,623
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Being from Liverpool, I hear many ridiculous sentences. I usually only catch fragments of conversation, but by themselves they are much more perfect.
Random guy: "A'Know, lad, we was out wiv' Jevvo and dis fella got merked. He had a muzzy". Other random guy: "Shit, la', this origami is fuckin' mad" I have no idea what being 'merked' is, so don't ask me. |
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#6 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,261
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SECURITY: "Give me the film out of that camera."
YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera." SECURITY: "I don't care, gimme the film." Young guy hands over the snap-box. SECURITY: "Where's the film?" YOUNG GUY: "It's a digital camera."
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http://jennthebenn.tumblr.com/ |
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#7 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 11,110
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Quote:
Funny ![]() |
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#8 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,356
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A friend: What's a condom?
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#9 | ||
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,537
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Quote:
need i say more? need i?? i heard the same thing stupidest shit ever!!! Quote:
ha ha! ha ha ha ha! oh, priceless. |
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#10 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 11,110
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Quote:
This one is better Friend: I anus a dick? Me: Slap. |
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#11 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Montreal
Posts: 5,807
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"You're an idiot"
Being that it was directed at me, I find it a very unintelligent statement.
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Inhuman no longer dwells on here. http://about.me/robinbastien |
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#12 |
empty page
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Wirralz, GB
Posts: 21
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"I think gay adoption is horrible. Think how much the kid will be bullied"
Most reactionary sentence ever. |
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#13 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In the land of the Instigator
Posts: 27,951
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working at Specs liquor store
a man comes in, seemingly in a hurry, and asks me "where are the martinis?" flustered, I say, "sir, all you need is some vermouth and some vodka or gin, and you can add olives or an onion or any garnish you like." he looks at me, "no, that's not right. I need a bottle of martinis. The way you say it is just straight vodka." "Sir, that is how you make martinis." I reply trying not to laugh "That's not a martini." he says before leaving.
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RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read. |
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#14 |
100%
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 770
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a friend of mine once said to me "how come third world countries get free condoms and we don't?"
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I think if kissing someone could make them pregnant
the last person I kissed would have had their kid by now... |
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#15 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: psycho battery
Posts: 12,161
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i heard someone say that they thought all the taxi drivers in leeds are members of the taliban.
this reminds me of the all ears section of the guardian guide.
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Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing |@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif |
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#16 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,000
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Some guy standing to the left of me at a Black Dice gig:
"Haha, man, that´s the worst band i´ve ever seen! They don´t even know how to plug in their speakers, everthing´s just BLEEEP" some other guy in a pub: "You students are all anti-social bums, you´re neither supporting our economy nor our country. 60 Years ago you would have ended in concentration camp." |
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#17 | |
the end of the ugly
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Vienna
Posts: 862
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Quote:
Wow |
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#18 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Plaza de Toros
Posts: 6,731
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They must be dealing coke, because they're black???
Tigers come from Africa, you know??? All gays eventually die from aids??? Bush believes in freedom??? Men are superior to women in all ways??? We all come from monkeys??? Meat is murder??? etc...etc... |
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#19 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: psycho battery
Posts: 12,161
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gays have only been around since the 50's
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Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing |@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif |
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#20 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,408
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An American saying "I am Irish."
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