[ann ashtray]

I received a call from my mom a few hours ago. It was a call I'd been expecting over the last couple of weeks, but still was hoping it wouldn't be this soon. She called to tell me that my grandfather died earlier this evening.

Death is still something I'm not completely accustomed to dealing with. As a child I more or less felt the way most children feel....people get old, and then they die. I was sad when my other grandfather passed away, but I wasn't shocked. He was old, + I'd expected it to happen eventually. The sadness I felt was mainly a result of watching my mom have to go through that (this was her father, + being that I have no relationship to speak of with my own dad, she had to tell me that his father died today).

Of course, being a bit older than I was the first go around, + having experienced the death of a dear friend my own age, I feel quite differently than I did at 15 (age I was when my first grandfather died).

Mixture of emotions. I'll be having to go to Florida sometime over the next couple of days. I'll certainly see my dad, which I'm not excited about at all. I likely won't cry or know what to say, which I fear most others will interpret as me not caring. I do care, I just....seldom cry in front of anyone, ever. And really, what can one be expected to say? A bit stressed, distraught, confused, sad....all of these things, I am.

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by ann ashtray

I received a call from my mom a few hours ago. It was a call I'd been expecting over the last couple of weeks, but still was hoping it wouldn't be this soon. She called to tell me that my grandfather died earlier this evening.

Death is still something I'm not completely accustomed to dealing with. As a child I more or less felt the way most children feel....people get old, and then they die. I was sad when my other grandfather passed away, but I wasn't shocked. He was old, + I'd expected it to happen eventually. The sadness I felt was mainly a result of watching my mom have to go through that (this was her father, + being that I have no relationship to speak of with my own dad, she had to tell me that his father died today).

Of course, being a bit older than I was the first go around, + having experienced the death of a dear friend my own age, I feel quite differently than I did at 15 (age I was when my first grandfather died).

Mixture of emotions. I'll be having to go to Florida sometime over the next couple of days. I'll certainly see my dad, which I'm not excited about at all. I likely won't cry or know what to say, which I fear most others will interpret as me not caring. I do care, I just....seldom cry in front of anyone, ever. And really, what can one be expected to say? A bit stressed, distraught, confused, sad....all of these things, I am.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ann ashtray again.

+ Igziar Nefs Yimar + (God Have Mercy on His Soul)

 

Dear momma don't cry, your baby boy's doin good
Tell the homies I'm in heaven and they ain't got hoods
Seen a show with Marvin Gaye last night, it had me shook
Drippin peppermint Schnapps, with Jackie Wilson, and Sam Cooke
Then some lady named Billie Holiday
Sang sittin there kickin it with Malcolm, 'til the day came
Little LaTasha sho' grown
Tell the lady in the liquorstore that she's forgiven, so come home
Maybe in time you'll understand only God can save us
When Miles Davis cuttin lose with the band
Just think of all the people that you knew in the past
that passed on, they in heaven, found peace at last
Picture a place that they exist, together
There has to be a place better than this, in heaven
So right before I sleep, dear God, what I'm askin
Remember this face, save me a place, in thug's mansion

[ann ashtray]

hey man, thanks. I mean this with utmost sincerity.

[SpaceCadetHayden]

Sway, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. The holidays are a rough time already, and I can't even pretend I have any idea what it is you're going through. Time heals all things, my friend. Don't worry about what others are thinking in your time of grief. Everyone grieves differently. Feel what you feel always but especially now. Peace, love, and prayers my friend.

PS If things become too much, remember, this is a just a moment in time, you must step aside and let it happen.

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by SpaceCadetHayden

PS If things become too much, remember, this is a just a moment in time, you must step aside and let it happen.

that is ridiculously great advice, in all stressful situations. Remember the post I was discussing the consolation of the Virgin Mary I posted that you repped before, that essentially is what she helps us to do when we are hurting so much it is unbearable..

swa(y) your added to my prayers and candles.

[SONIC GAIL]

My prayers are with you sway. You know I have been through it many times. It sucks. The emotions you go trough are something that cannot be put into words.
I could'nt cry at my mom's funeral, but I think I was just in shock of it all. It's ok everyone grieves in a different way.

[hevusa]

Death seems so unfair... but without it life would be meaningless.

Sorry Sway.

[ann ashtray]

Hey, much thanks to every one of you.

Leaving for Florida tomorrow am. Viewing Friday, funeral Saturday.

It's odd, ya know. I was planning on going down there to visit the day after Christmas. Wasn't exactly supposed to be like this.

Fate doesn't care about plans, but then again I suppose plans shouldn't care about fate, either.

Been speaking in sporatic bursts w/ family down in the area. They say my grandmother isn't talking at all. I'm honestly nervous about even asking to speak with her. I'll just give her a really big hug tomorrow. It must be an awful feeling, someone being there for the last 50 something odd years of your life, and all of a sudden they are just gone.

<3