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Old 05.02.2007, 09:01 AM   #21
luxinterior
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I think you should hang out with this new girl some more, see how it goes, and then make your decision, because there is no comparing your time spent with her to the time spent with your current girlfriend.

I don't really think it's wrong, I mean, it's not like you're married or something. Just don't bonk her.
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Old 05.02.2007, 12:38 PM   #22
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Dump your girlfriend.

You've got the seeds of the idea in your head now. You're gonna do it eventually. This new girl might not work out, sure, but you and your current girlfriend won't either. You've already wasted two years of your life on her.
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Old 05.02.2007, 01:59 PM   #23
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If nothing else you can still be friends with the girl you met at Cochella. If you do end your relationship don't do it to be with the new girl, do it because you don't really see yourself with your current girlfriend, and just make a clean break of it, if you keep her around while still wanting the other girl, chances are good you'll end up cheating on her, which will only cause more drama.
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Old 05.02.2007, 02:26 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue
After rage, we hung out under one of the palm tree leaves while we waited for our friends
I made a move, we kissed, said our goodbyes

I arrived home, realized i had a girlfriend that ive been dating for almost 2 years (next month), felt really shitty, and now im just confused
Dont know what i should do
I still love her, i guess
but i really like this girl that I met
i guess i'm not even sure if that will ever go anywhere anyways
but i would feel wrong if i end up falling for this girl completely

anyways, she (the girl i met) txted me today and asked if i was still coming to austin next week (one of my friends has a lake house on lake travis and invited her friends and her to come hang out and party for the weekend)
I havent responded yet because i dont know if i should go or stay home
Should i wait it out? Tell my girlfriend whats going on? Seems like the worst idea ever, but the best. Graaaah.

Anyways, Advice would be greatly appreciated, beacuse all of my friends are douchebags when it comes to this kind of stuff.
For example, one of my friends was like "Dude, threesome!"


god, i love wine.

dude, threesome!

ha ha. no. sorry man, cant help you. in fact nobody can. maybe this is a temporary attraction, maybe you're taking your girlfriend too seriously for your age, maybe you'll lose rope and goat, maybe you'll try and fail, maybe you'll end up with this new girl, maybe you'll stay where you are. this zit will pop one way or another. nobody can advise you, as you're under the spell of larger forces-- yes, try to be reasonable, but know that ultimately these efforts are laughable. then just... live your life as best as you can...

for the sake of honesty however it might be advisable to tell your girl that you're having doubts about your relationship and you need some "space". oh space! she might decide to dump you on the spot or she might give you your space or she might show her claws but that's for her to decide. i think there's no need to give her every detail, or mentioned you kissed this girl, but telling her that you're a temporarily confused or whatever might be all that truthfulness requires. cos maybe you'll go to austin & realize it was all in your head or... well life's a bitch, there are no easy solutions. best wishes. enjoy the ride.

ps- i just noticed this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucyrulesok
From what you've said about yr girlfriend (her being able to get someone 'a thousand times better') it seems that yr pretty insecure (maybe I'm wrong here...?) and maybe the attention from this new girl is giving you a confidence boost that yr enjoying? Maybe I'm reading to much into things here, and forgive me if I am, but I know it's easy to feel flattered when someone new likes you, and it can be dificult to see past that.

now that's some thoughtful analysis...
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Old 05.02.2007, 02:31 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefeli
okey really this must be one of things/feelings, you get to have with someone you are really at ease with, open. thats nice and rare and sure has also to do with eachone's personality. might also mean that you are at point of pure friendship with your girlfriend, maybe not 100% in love anymore. <--not sure about this tho.
its normal to meet once in awhile while in a relationship, other people that you like more than usual liking. its up to the relationship you are in, whether the new thing gets more serious in your head.

wow, so easy to talk on theory. you are in dilemma, safe move is to leave some time go by and tell the other that you are in a relationship, so she -sadly-ll step back and leave it up to you..

well, the other girl knows im in a relationship
im going to get to know her better, she would make a great friend, i suppose.

Quote:
Originally Posted by atsonicpark
I had this problem once...

...but I decided to stick with my girlfriend (4 years as of last Monday), and I realized the crush that I had, the cute chick who I hung out with and thought was amazing, had a lot of shit about her I could never stand to be with. if you and your girlfriend have a pretty decent and happy relationship, it's probably not worth risking it...

that's the plan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucyrulesok
I think you shouldn't go...
You are having doubts enough to ask a bunch of Sonic Youth fans what to do, so you can't be that crazy about her. You had a fun time at the festival, and you clearly like this girl, but the fact that you have even the tiniest seed of doubt means that you should not ruin things with yr g/f for her. If you go see her, inevitably things will happen, and it'll just make the whole situation more complicated and unpleasant.

From what you've said about yr girlfriend (her being able to get someone 'a thousand times better') it seems that yr pretty insecure (maybe I'm wrong here...?) and maybe the attention from this new girl is giving you a confidence boost that yr enjoying? Maybe I'm reading to much into things here, and forgive me if I am, but I know it's easy to feel flattered when someone new likes you, and it can be dificult to see past that.

Just my two cents. Feel free to ignore!

you've made some good points, but i think we can still be friends or something. she's way too cool for me not to talk to her ever again.
i guess i am a bit insecure when it comes to relationships, because my last 2 girlfriends cheated on me. My current girlfriend has been wonderful though, she's put up with sooo much of my crap and has been there when i needed her. i mean, she has her flaws and certain personality traits i am not too fond of, but so does everyone, i suppose. when you get to know someone well though, you learn to deal/work around these flaws, which is why our relationship works. i think the reason i feel bad is because we are both very honest with each other, but i dont know if i can be honest this time around. i just cant find myself telling her how i feel at the moment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luxinterior
I think you should hang out with this new girl some more, see how it goes, and then make your decision, because there is no comparing your time spent with her to the time spent with your current girlfriend.

I don't really think it's wrong, I mean, it's not like you're married or something. Just don't bonk her.

haha, bonk
love that word.


thank you everyone for the advice, its been very helpful.
i wish my friends would be more helpful... but they're not.
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Old 05.02.2007, 02:36 PM   #26
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in your own words:

It's a Trap!
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Old 05.02.2007, 02:37 PM   #27
cryptowonderdruginvogue
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nature scene
in your own words:

It's a Trap!



 


ITS A TRAP!
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Old 05.02.2007, 10:05 PM   #28
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i talked to my girlfriend today and i decided to be honest with her. to my surprise, she didnt flip, didnt say a word until i finished, asked me what was next, i said i didnt know and that i was sorry. she then asked if i needed some time to think things through, which is when i realized how lucky i was, told her i loved her and that i didnt need to think anything through, just for her to accept my apology. she was a bit upset (glad i was honest with her though), doesnt know how she feels about the whole situation. she had to meet her parents for dinner and i had to jet, hopefully she calls me later tonight.

just wanted to thank everyone for the advice one more time, i was going to go one way and then another, but i just did what felt right at the moment. so, i guess i'll see how the cookie crumbles.
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Old 05.03.2007, 03:14 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue
i talked to my girlfriend today and i decided to be honest with her. to my surprise, she didnt flip, didnt say a word until i finished, asked me what was next, i said i didnt know and that i was sorry. she then asked if i needed some time to think things through, which is when i realized how lucky i was, told her i loved her and that i didnt need to think anything through, just for her to accept my apology. she was a bit upset (glad i was honest with her though), doesnt know how she feels about the whole situation. she had to meet her parents for dinner and i had to jet, hopefully she calls me later tonight.

just wanted to thank everyone for the advice one more time, i was going to go one way and then another, but i just did what felt right at the moment. so, i guess i'll see how the cookie crumbles.

good man, you did the right thing, and your girlfriend sounds awesome. i dont know what about her bugs you, but she sounds like she has a backbone and good character. can i call her? -- ha ha no, joking man.

anyway best wishes & i hope you learn a thing or two about yourself, life & what not.
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